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CaelestisAbyss

29 Pensacola, FL Gender Nonconforming, Non-binary

Gender Nonconforming, Non-binary

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:07pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Religion
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Status
Single
Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Jack of all trades
Master of none
Cry all the time
Cause I'm not having fun

I am creative, passionate, and understanding.
I am also slow, guarded, and unconfident.
I'm a pleaser by nature.
I often misrepresent myself in person and will probably sell myself short.
I'm manic-depressive but I try to keep it to myself.
At my worst I can be passive-aggressive and even unapologetic, although it takes a lot to get me there and I'm always trying to be conscientious about preventing or making up for it.
By this definition I am a humanist: http://youtu.be/Tvz0mmF6NW4

I'm left handed. Semi-ambi (lefties kind of have to be in this world).

Visual artist: I work in traditional and digital mediums. My favorite being ink (pen and brush, quill is growing on me). I think I'd have a great knack for music but I'm afraid to start creating it if that means losing some of its magic.
Other things that do magic for me: cold temperatures and cold hues-- teal, cyan, and pthalo blue. I love my overcast weather and rain... I'm a meat and coffee fan.... I watch some of those creepy ASMR videos, but that shit in real life seduces me.

I have a strange infatuation with deep sea divers, the outfit and the concept of deep sea exploration. I am in awe at giant squids: they terrify but also mystify me.

Um, I use ellipses a lot... (<- see?) probably more than is grammatically acceptable by other people...
..........
.......................
...

I know my profile is loooooong (it's probably worse to say that I've actually abbreviated and abridged it a lot). I believe in being upfront and honest about myself as much and as soon as possible. It's also my (obvious) nature to explain myself to the fullest, and to want other's to be able to do the same. That being said, I don't actually expect anyone to read all of this off the bat, but you can at least use it like a reference guide.
(Note: I try to keep things updated, but I'm always finding errors in how I previously worded myself. Feel free to ask me about anything in my "questions" or "profile" that seems vague, contradicting, or off-putting. Also, I don't mind talking about an opposing perspective: it's a great way to broaden our empathy.)

I seem to be an odd mix. I've seen the term "non-binary" pop up and have had people describe me using it. It's probably accurate... I don't always exude masculinity, but I'm not predominantly feminine. (At first impression, I'll dazzle you with some fabulous moves but then defeat you in a wrestle. /hairflip)
I also don't really believe in a binary gender system, anyway. No preferred pronouns; I mean, "he" is fine, but I just use "they" when speaking of anyone... just seems easier for everybody.

I identify as polyamorous. And I'll be honest, I'm not in a place to invest my self to a core level. I suppose what I mean is I'm unable to trust anyone or anything 100% and to some degree will always keep an active guard. Given the rare opportunity, one day my guard could disarm, but in the meantime it doesn't mean I can't or don't still love and care for people close in my life and have meaningful relationships with them.

I am NOT a possessive or jealous person, nor do I condone unhealthy amounts of those feelings. Moderate amounts are okay as long as you can manage it on your own accord. (We are adults and each accountable for our own emotions.)

The people I do connect or become close with seem to really appreciate my sincerity. I harbor an ambition for truth, awareness, and honesty... between everyone. I want to be around others that find a challenge to be anything but honest.

I can be overanalytical in the inside (no shit, right?), but usually lax on the outside, sometimes to a fault. I'm really good at socially adapting when I want to: I tend to pick up other people's senses of humor like a changeling. I take after my dad in being an oversized kid, and will be until I'm a dead kid. I wish more people were playful. And hugged. I'm all about the hugs, it sucks that people fear them.

I love to see passion and sincere expression in someone. My passion has burned at different fluxes through life, both roaring furnace and a faint ember. I want to be around those who can spark it.
I want to be around minds in search for better understanding. I feel that when someone believes they have come to understand all that there is to know, they have only settled for ignorance. I wish to always remain open to the fluidity of humanity and my surroundings.

A few topics ignite me:
1. namely animal rights.
2. LGBT rights, gender equality. Just equality in general. I hate hierarchies, corporate ladders, and anything that says one human being or animal is less than another.
3. And more than any of those, the anchor at my core is child development and security. Especially child safety. Which is true for most, and this will evoke a lot of my passion... and a lot of anger out of me. There is nothing more desirable to the limit of my emotion than rescuing another's childhood. I've considered making a career tangent to help child victims, but I'm not entirely sure that's a healthy line of work for me to be in just yet.

My dichotomy: I'm, uh, like, 3 parts logic 2 parts emotion. I oscillated between a mind based on the whims of feelings (for 16 years) and then a mind entirely based on apathetic rationale (for 7), these two sides used to be unusually divided in me... it can still be like a inner dialogue between a scientist and an evangelical when they both have something to say.

I used to be an INTP, then an ENTP, and now I'm apparently an INFP.
See? Fluidity.

http://facebook.com/caelestis.abyss
artwork: http://ryandugger.com
tumblr = http://caelestisabyss.tumblr.com
<3 = http://rainymood.com
hug= http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
About a year ago, I moved to Atlanta to continue my education. I previously completed 2 Associates Degrees, one in Art and one in Graphic Design. I spent almost 2 years working for Clearwire, a "4G" wireless-ISP, and dealing with the aftermath of their self-destruction. I'm now enrolled as a full-time student at SCAD, majoring in Illustration and minoring in Sequential Art.

Right now I'm finding my niche for the most lucrative illustration work that best suits me. One day, when I'm a big[ger] boy, I aspire to make a career out of being a Concept Artist, designing the characters, settings, props, etc for future movies, games, and so on. I also hope to author many graphic novels, some with a visual style akin to 'Sin City' or, dare I say, 'The Crow', maybe some with color palettes reminiscent of Moebius or painterly style influenced by Kent Williams... who knows.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing a lot of words, haven't you noticed?

Dreaming: I sometimes feel like I'm the most vivid dreamer I know. It sounds super-unproductive, but I'll sleep through a day if I'm having intense dreams because it is literally more visceral, emotional, and inspiring than most anything I'd be doing while I'm awake. It also costs $0. :P
I log some of my dreams when I get to it: http://littleryanindreamland.tumblr.com

Dat Skill: I'm kind of pro at picking up skills when I need to, for a job or whatever. I can't say it without sounding vain, so I'll just say it: I'm good at most everything... or so I'm told. Excluding things that involve physical balance. yeah, that's a pretty big subtractor, I know.
http://rortybomb.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/dynamite.gif

The Arts: I do painting, drawing, digital. My specialty is probably portraiture and figures, but I can replicate most things I see onto paper. My weapons of choice being pencil, pen, ink (my favorite), charcoal, conte, watercolor, acrylic, oil, photoshop, freehand, illustrator, etc etc.
I've done performing arts, song/dance, I played Demetrius in Midsummer Night's Dream, I was in a showchoir in 9th grade. I'm... above average at performing arts but never delved deeply into it.

The Hands: I've got a reputation for massages... and other things as well... Butforealdoh, they're the only thing I can control better than my tongue (yes, I know this sounds suggestive...)... or eyebrows: http://snaps.htmlchat.net/?img=1202110019413561424_31a5n
It is okay to swoon now.

The Words: I always have a comeback. I'm way better at rolling a conversation or joke than starting one. Gimme a punchline and I'll give you a kickline... maybe even a dropkickline, or a hadoukenline.

The HEEEAT: My other other superpower. I create a lot of body heat. I'm like a living central heating unit to any and all winter survivors who cross my path. Truth: I can keep 3 other people alive besides myself in an Arctic clustercuddle.

And The Hugs: Also, I have a repertoire for giving the best hugs. So, not a message from me, but the rest of the world: I give the best hugs. I guess that makes it a scientific fact.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My hair has moved to #1 in this category, people seem to want to own it... >_>
True story: I had someone on here persuade me into skyping to try and buy my hair. Long story short, they tried to make me cut it on camera... and yeah, kind of a bullox business practice so I had to decline.

Apparently I always smell good (some described it as the smell of cleanness or sleep itself ??). I'd like to think people rather notice my sense of humor, or hip movements (they don't lie).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies:
Vanilla Sky, Moulin Rouge, The Fountain, Cloud Atlas, What Dreams May Come, Eternal Sunshine, Stardust, Howl's Moving Castle, Escaflowne, Final Fantasy 7 AC, Fifth Element, Serenity, Leon The Professional, V for Vendetta, Spiderman, The Avengers, Iron Man, Watchmen, The Dark Knight, Sin City, Hellraiser, Boondock Saints, Smokin' Aces, Battle Royale, Cloverfield, Cabin in the Woods, Silent Hill, Butterfly Effect, The Cell, Mirrormask, Night Watch, City of Lost Children, Hugo, Amelie, Pirate Radio, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Scott Pilgrim, Kick-Ass, Tron + Tron Legacy, Legend, Labyrinth, The Last Unicorn, Little Nemo, Neverending Story (say my name, Bastian!)... um... Kung Pow!, Austin Powers, Shaolin Soccer, any Monty Python movie, Office Space, Hitchhiker's Guide, Zombieland.

Music:
Muse, Radiohead, Levi Weaver, Death Cab for Cutie, Postal Service, Coldplay, The Beatles, Nobuo Uematsu, Sigur Ros, Explosions in the Sky, This Will Destroy You, Trespassers William, Dntel, Moderat, Apparat, Boards of Canada, Blue Stone, Ulrich Schnauss (<3), Lymbyc Systym, Tangerine Dream, James Blake (!!), Tycho, Little Dragon, M83, BT, Daft Punk, Deadmau5, Bassnectar, Royksopp, Imogen Heap/Frou Frou, Kate Havnevik, Bjork, Mum, Mike Milosh, Portishead, Telepopmusik, Caravan Palace, Basement Jaxx, MIKA (!!!), Scissor Sisters, La Roux, Outkast... anything from MSI to ELO, game music, orchestrated music, classical, ambient, electronic, trance, epic, emotional, celtic, just dont make me listen to country or most pop music/rap.

Food: I used to be a big meat person, but the I slipped into being a salad lover (hmm?), and now a chicken kinda guy with occasional veggies. I'll try most things, I even had quail egg recently and rather liked it.
I'm a big fan of pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and no-bake cookies. I don't like tomatoes most of the time. I Love coffee in many different forms. French Vanilla+Hazelnut creamed coffee is the awesome, I drink coffee black if it's with a dessert, though. I love me a mocha frozen/iced coffee, sometimes coconut mocha... Starbucks is kind of a last resort, I usually even go for McD's over SB's.

Books: I've been reading a bit more lately, but still haven't read enough to develop any 'favorites'. I probably need to write some stories out of my head before I can fit new ones in o_o

Shows: Firefly, Game of Thrones, Sherlock, Misfits, Escaflowne, Gantz, Bee and Puppycat, Adventure Time, Bravest Warriors (60% because Catbug: youtu.be/rFWb7DG7zTc)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Earth
2. Fire
3. Wind
4. Water
5. Heart
6. and Captain Planet.

alternatively:
Coffee
Cold
Music
high tolerance
Inspiration
Jetpack
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I ponder what might've offended someone or made a preexisting relationship more awkward. I worry about my appearance, my personality traits, being worth anything to myself or anyone else. I think about how and why the past came to be... Theeeen I think about how unfathomable it is to calculate why it all pans out the way it does, and if we could ever evolve to truly understand how different our life would be by changing one detail of our past.

Aaand, I think about how each little thing I notice might reflect some macrocosm, or I'll think about how endless the universe is, how beyond our comprehension it is that the cosmic matter ascended from stars to becoming us, sentient life that have evolved into inventing ideas... ideas that allow us to marvel at what we've become when we used to be nothing but hydrogen. Like we're riding a crescendo of astral brilliance... or maybe the universe made us so it had an audience to admire the show... Narcissistic universe, pffbbtt.

And naturally, I revel in conceptual daydreams, stories, characters, events, and scenes as they fade through my head (usually when I'm driving, showering, or got some music around me).

This, plus thoughts of sexual frustration woven throughout. Which is also everyone's usual, right?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Same as any other night, Pinky...
Homework.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Startling truth: I have NEVER been able to properly fold my clothes… particularly shirts. Instead, I just roll them up. I <3 hangers (wish I had more - please donate).

I use tumblr for more than porn (which is a foreign concept to some friends of mine), but 90+% of my Reddit visits are to the nsfw subreddits...

I'm pretty sure I'm a Grade A creeper in public, between my wandering eyes and bad eyesite, I probably look like I'm squinting grimaces at the ladies I pass. Not to mention the gestures that ensue: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3n3z7nYNM1qchr00o1_400.gif
(I'm not really that bad)
I'm probably more creepy at home/school for floating around in the dark and appearing behind friends w/o making a sound.

This next portion is pretty personal, just a heads up.

I was sexually molested on a daily basis by the person I looked up to throughout my childhood, up through my early teen years. I usually don't mention this for a long time, if ever, to a person getting to know me, as I don't want this to define who I am to myself or others... but it's an aspect of my past that I cannot deny being a fundamental part of my life, and it's pretty damn private, so...

'That escalated quickly', right?
I hope this section at least confirms that I'll admit and discuss anything, although I prefer to talk about it one on one in person.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're cosmic.
You want to go to Six Flags with me.
You can prove to me this place isn't only full of egocentrics and flakes.
You think we'll dig each other. I'm generally interested in exploring my connections with various people, whether it be friendly, casual, romantic, sensual, sexual, communicative, insightful, emotional, or just comfortable fun. I enjoy spending time with those who are on a similar level as me in one or more of these respects.
Also, massages. Mostly giving them. :]

Also, message me if you want to share art or creative thoughts, maybe in person over coffee. I'm very interested in meeting local people that I can get along and spend time with. I'm also new to the Atlanta area, so anything or place someone can show me or recommend going to is so VERY welcome.

And DEFINITELY message me if you want to pay me to make some awesome illustrations for you!! :D