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26 Baltimore, MD Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:23pm
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Wants kids
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
tl;dr: Don't tl;dr this section. It contains important information about me and will save both of us time and trouble if you read it and find out that something just isn't for you. It's also the only section I take seriously. It's not my intention to write a novel, but I'm really not much of a "dark, mysterious stranger" anyway -- what you read is what you get.

About Misty
First off, the most important aspect of my life right now is that I am taking currently care of LoliconPrincess Misty. I house her, feed her, provide for her, and do my best to keep her happy. It's a non-sexual, non-BDSM, non-fetishistic relationship that's somewhere between "big brother/little sister," "best friends," and "caretaker." She is very important to me and I love her like a sister. She is a "little" -- more information about what that means can be found on her profile or by talking to her (I do a shit job of explaining it).

I can't really associate with someone who has an antagonistic relationship with Misty or who insists that I stop caring for her, so being friends with me means being at least amicable acquiantances with Misty -- we're sort of a package deal at the moment. I don't plan on taking care of her forever, but rather only until she finds someone who can take care of her forever, which may be a couple years from now. But who knows? Maybe you're poly, into chicks, and looking to be someone's "mommy," in which case you should just skip over me entirely and check out Misty instead. (she's much less insistent that her girlfriends be cool with me than the other way around)

About Polyamory
I am not really interested in getting into a poly relationship. Not that it can't or won't happen, but as I am single and relatively inexperienced I would rather not become just another body in a man-harem. I don't know if I could perhaps "become" poly under the right circumstances, but for now I will assume that I'm monogamous. I don't expect to ever feel the need to pressure my partner to "open up" the relationship even if it turns out I can have a healthy poly relationship.

About My Sexuality
I am obviously absolutely 100% cis dude. I consider myself "mostly straight" or "femmesexual," meaning I am attracted to femininity as opposed to strictly the female sex/gender. I am open to relationships with trans women and possibly effeminate non-binary individuals but don't consider myself a chaser. I am not interested in "experimenting" with men.

I have been told that I'm submissive, but I believe I'm only mildly to moderately submissive on the D/s spectrum and I'm not necessarily seeking an explicitly D/s relationship. I don't particularly care for most of the rest of BDSM culture and consider myself fairly "vanilla" with some pretty tame exceptions.

About Politics and Religion
I am an atheist and a dirty liberal. I am most concerned with civil rights, race relations, trans/non-binary issues, wealth inequality, international relations, and climate change. However I am pretty disdainful of the anti-vax, non-GMO, gluten-free movements -- I am very pro-science and despise pseudoscience.

Dating someone who is religious or spiritual is not completely out of the question for me, but they'd have to be very casual/"live and let live" about it and I would probably have to get over some empathetic hurdles to understand their thoughts and motivations.

About Marriage and Kids
I do want to get married and have children someday, but until Misty is under the permanent care of someone else that will have to wait. I have no intention of making someone who is ready and eager for marriage and kids wait for me, nor do I want to get into a committed til-death-do-us-part relationship with someone who never wants to have kids.

About Motherfucking Videogames
I play videogames. I play lots of videogames. I play videogames for hours upon hours every single day. I don't watch TV and I don't even get cable. If you don't like videogames or at least watching dumb weeb animes then you will find yourself very, very bored in my apartment. On the other hand if you like PC online shooters like Counter-Strike or Payday 2 or GTA 5 then we'll get along great. If you play League of Legends or Smash Bros. then you'll get along great with Misty. Videogames are king in this apartment, deal with it nerd.

About My Personality
I am somewhat eccentric. I may or may not be an aspie son of a bitch, but I definitely come off as weird to people. I am practical, objective, skeptical, introverted, quiet, and laid-back. I strive to be responsible, dependable, open and honest, and I would like the same from anyone who comes into my life.

I don't suffer from any issues with depression, anger, psychosis, or a bad childhood. I don't generally get stressed out or upset easily. However I am probably not the best support for someone who does have issues as I have trouble empathizing with them and may come off as cold, emotionless, robotic, and overly logical.

Also, while I generally hate personality tests, EQ tests, online quizzes etc. this one was a surprisingly accurate assessment of myself.

Now, onwards to the sillyness!~
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Apparently I'm a web developer now? Sweet.

So yeah, I have my own apartment and am completely self-sufficient and independent (yay!). Normally one would conclude that I'm "financially responsible" but then I go out and buy ridiculous Lego sets because holy shit this crane has motorized outriggers.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
eating insanely spicy chicken wings, getting way over my head in Minecraft or SimCity, geography quizzes, and refactoring code written by lazy assholes (spoiler: I'm the lazy asshole).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Comics: Calvin & Hobbes, Penny Arcade, Dumbing of Age, xkcd (don't worry, I don't get the math jokes either)

Movies: Starship Troopers, Interstellar, Full Metal Jacket, Akira, all the animes ^_____^

Games: Minecraft, Civilization, SimCity 4, Counter-Strike, Killing Floor, Smash Bros, Kerbal Space Program, and anything that has an engaging plot and characters. Really.

TV: Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Fate/Stay Night, Carnival Phantasm, My Little Pony oh god did I just type that

Food: Blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, peaches, pasta, and extremely spicy anything. Also ultra hipster chobani dark chocolate almond coconut greek yogurt. And also apples. I fucking love apples. Just the green ones though. Green apple master race

Music: Mostly energetic, uplifting music -- particularly trance and power metal. Also lots of stupid Japanese music (vocaloid especially) and sometimes chiptunes or pseudo-80s "synthwave."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
porn (aka internet)
my animu figure collection
shitty music
a penis

Hey, at least I'm being honest. How many guys do you come across that seriously believe that their penis is not one of the six most important things in their life? Bet you didn't think of that, did you? :V
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
penises, apparently. 3=====>~~~
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read the entire self-summary and was like "hey this guy is pretty cool I hope he notices me"

Senpai will not notice you if you do not make it clear that you noticed him first.