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26 Baltimore, MD Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:00pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Latin (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Skinny white computer dork/benign Internet troll,* and very serious about it. Troublemaker who deals poorly with boredom. Enjoys unironically driving people to hold their faces in their hands and mutter "goddammit." Seriously considering becoming a cat.

Also interested in history geography international relations linguistics and other crap that's generally unrelated to anything ever. I mean who even uses this stuff? Politicians?? Probably not.

By the way, my apartment is infested with lesbians.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Apparently I'm a web developer now? Sweet.

So yeah, I have my own apartment and am completely self-sufficient and independent (yay!). Normally one would conclude that I'm "financially responsible" but then I go out and buy ridiculous Lego sets because holy shit this crane has motorized outriggers.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
eating insanely spicy chicken wings, getting way over my head in Minecraft or SimCity, geography quizzes, and refactoring code written by lazy assholes (spoiler: I'm the lazy asshole).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard randomly changes lengths every time they look away. It's usually just subtle enough to make them question their sanity, but sometimes I'll go straight from 14-year-old boy to Count Olaf. It's pretty crazy, I tell ya!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Comics: Calvin & Hobbes, Penny Arcade, Dumbing of Age, xkcd (don't worry, I don't get the math jokes either)

Movies: Starship Troopers, Interstellar, Full Metal Jacket, Akira, all the animes ^_____^

Games: Minecraft, Civilization, SimCity 4, Counter-Strike, Killing Floor, Smash Bros, Kerbal Space Program, and anything that has an engaging plot and characters. Really.

TV: Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Fate/Stay Night, Carnival Phantasm, My Little Pony oh god did I just type that

Food: Blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, peaches, pasta, and extremely spicy anything. Also ultra hipster chobani dark chocolate almond coconut greek yogurt. And also apples. I fucking love apples. Just the green ones though. Green apple master race

Music: Mostly energetic, uplifting music -- particularly trance and power metal. Also lots of stupid Japanese music (vocaloid especially) and sometimes chiptunes or pseudo-80s "synthwave."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
porn (aka internet)
shitty music
a shower
a penis

Hey, at least I'm being honest. How many guys do you come across that seriously believe that their penis is not one of the six most important things in their life? Bet you didn't think of that, did you?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
penises, apparently. 3=====>~~~
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
playing whatever videogame I am currently addicted to.

Right now I'm playing Kerbal Space Program and am trying to land on a planet without crashing into the surface at 1km/s like a dumbass.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a big dumb animu figure collection.

Also recently I've been having people independently come to the conclusion that I'm probably aspie. Now I don't wanna be one those jerks that goes around claiming to be aspie after an amateur, confirmation-biased self-diagnosis but it's definitely one of those things that makes you go "oh hey that explains a lot actually." Like this weird obsession I have with penises, for example. *gnaws on dildo*
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't mind the fact that I'm a liiiiiiittle awkward and hopelessly oblivious. I mean, other than that I guess I'm cooldudes and apparently completely harmless.

So yeah. Hi.

*this footnote is in a completely different section!! whoa. (actually I was just going to mention that I don't troll on OKC because that's stupid so don't be all paranoid or whatever)