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33 M Greeley, CO

My Details

Last Online
Apr 2, 2012
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Other, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Latin (Poorly)

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My self-summary
**If you can read this, don't. I'm not interested.**

How to sum oneself up in a box?

Hi! I'm Græme. (Like the cracker.)

My first love and biggest drive is music. I went to school for it and everything, which explains why I work in a cube farm in a small town in Colorado. I've been playing guitar for about seventeen years and it's the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life, but reality interfered (as, frequently, it does).

I experience and interact with the world through an industrial-strength filter of sarcasm and derision. I promise I'm not as hateful as this makes me sound; I generally smirk and make snarky remarks rather than rant and rave. I do rant and rave - ask me about the Dawn of the Dead remake sometime - but 99% of the time I'm merely harmlessly theatrical.

I have kind of a morbid fascination with the macabre; Halloween and I go waaaay back. Ditto exorcisms, apocrypha, and just about anything from which Hollywood can squeeze a shitty horror movie.

Easily half the words that fall out of my skull are in fact references to some film, television show, or other facet of pop culture. (I should be fucking ashamed of myself.)

I love body modification, though I admit my own 'haves' list is woefully short (I have an ever-lengthening 'wants' list) at present moment. I'm working on it, I swear!

I'm a very physical person - by which I mean I'm touchy, not athletic - and quite affectionate to boot. You should probably message me if you appreciate a good snuggle.

I curse a lot. I'm also guilty of having grown up in the 80s, which means I say 'like,' like, frequently.

I'm a beer snob, but I'm the worst beer snob ever. I'll drink whatever you put in my hand, but chances are I'll sneer and carp about it.

I love to learn, even if it's completely useless information.

I am inquisitive, eclectic, and easygoing.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently, very little: work, sleep, repeat. I spend some of my free time attempting to learn languages I'll never actually use. I've been meaning to go back to school for some time; I used to be a dual major in Guitar Performance and Music Education at Berklee, so continuing that 'career' path would be optimal. I'd definitely consider studies in history, linguistics, historio-linguistics, and the arcane (but Miskatonic University keeps rejecting my applications).
I’m really good at
Playing guitar. Singing (though I used to be better). Hating things (you're allowed to point and derisively yell "HIPSTERRR!;" I won't mind). Snark. Also sleeping. Also also, being self-effacing; inasmuch as I think I'm the coolest motherfucker in the room, I'd never say so out loud. (Can I get some paradox points for saying "humility," or does that just make it obvious that I think I'm unceasingly clever?)
The first things people usually notice about me
Y'know, I've never asked. I have pretty big eyes, but I don't know that I necessarily have any immediately-striking physical characteristics. I have some holes in my face with which I wasn't born. I do have a pretty large collection of fun t-shirts: robots, dinosaurs, and other assorted cuteness. Maybe my enormous sixteenhead (srsly, I could rent it out as a billboard).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite authors are the standard set professed by nerds: Zelazny, Lovecraft, Tolkein, Lumley, Rowling. I've actually only recently converted to Potterism, having read the novels for the first time in September of 2009. I'll read anything in SF/fantasy, especially high fantasy (I've had two copies of The Hobbit fall apart on me) and hard SF (Charles Stross is a recent favorite). I tend to prefer a tome sprinkled liberally with humor, though it's not necessarily a requirement. Zombies, vampires, the occult, slapsticky humor, what have you. I expressly dislike Stephanie Meyer (terrible writer), Dan Brown (even worse), and Chuck Palahniuk (way overhyped).

I like horror films. Action movies fill a deep-seated male urge, so I can't write them off entirely, but I'm getting kind of tired of what passes for action flicks these days. The first and third Die Hard films are, so far as I'm concerned, the Platonic forms to which other action flicks must aspire. Bad Boys II holds a special place in my heart as well. I've always got time for the trilogies that make up my childhood: Indy, Back to the Future, and Evil Dead. Comedies are best when they're adult-ish (though I mean "mature," as opposed to "porny"); Grosse Point Blank is a good example. Gun to my head, my favorite movie was Braveheart until Scott Pilgrim vs. the World came out.

This one is always just a list of bands, which I hate to do but serves the purpose admirably. You can decide yourself: Periphery (BULB IS MY GOD), Saxon Shore, Caspian, scarling., Meshuggah, Mad At Gravity, Fair to Midland, Candlebox, Circa Survive, Animals As Leaders, Scar Symmetry, 65daysofstatic, Eternal Lord, Sky Eats Airplane, Coheed & Cambria, Bring Me the Horizon, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Killswitch Engage, MC Frontalot's earlier stuff, the Helio Sequence, Great Big Sea. A little of everything, with an eye towards what I perceive as quality. Dislikes include the majority of the country/western genre; gangsta rap; Evanescence. I generally consider Nickelback to be the Manos: The Hands of Fate of the music world.

A very dear friend once said: 'TV is dorks. Luckily, so am I,' which I will now shamelessly appropriate to make another list: Arrested Development, Futurama, Leverage, Blackadder, Sealab 2021, Firefly. I hatehatehate that I know what Jersey Shore is (and, having spent some time on the actual Jersey shore, I can tell you that it's actually like that).
The six things I could never do without
Snark, the series of tubes, physical contact, music, a Westerly wind, hope. (In no particular order.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whatever floats into my head, really. Music, love, D&D character statistics, whether I'm going to have anything left from my next paycheck after paying bills, hot makeout sessions, what to do on my next day off, unusual guitar tunings (F#2 = love), medieval history, how silly cowboy dress is, whether to pierce various parts of my body, the world of the fae, the inevitable zombie apocalypse, how much I despise my job, etc., etc., etc.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading, guitarring, or driving aimlessly. I have a terminal case of wanderlust.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not a very private person; I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm totally open with almost anyone. I have a secret soft spot for Donny Osmond's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if can quote Arrested Development, Futurama, Patton Oswalt, Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran, Sun Tzu, Tolkein, and Captain Jean-Luc Picard. ALL AT ONCE. don't mind that I'm uncomfortably familiar with /b/. (Evidence of a misspent youth.) think long, winding car rides and singing in harmony sounds like a fine way to spend an evening. wear a significant amount of black eyeliner, hipster glasses, and have holes in your face surplus to the default ones. Rawr. Extra-special bonus points for showing up in an iwrestledabearonce t-shirt.