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46 Renton, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-49
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 10
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Other and it’s important
Post grad
Has kid(s)
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Note: I live in Renton but also work and have an apartment in Bellevue.

Other note: I am back in school, full time and then some, so my availability is limited.

Last note, I promise: I figure when the likes go both ways, there's potential worth checking into, but for whatever reason I have not been sending out many messages lately. But if YOU start a conversation after I've already "liked" you, then your odds are very good of at least landing a first date if you want it. And if I haven't already "liked" you, it might just be that I haven't found your profile yet.

I'm a balance of physical, intellectual, artist and sensualist. I am pagnostic with taoist leanings, and more philosophical than religious. I'm proud of my hippy upbringing and my values reflect that but my personal style does not. I believe kindness is the basis of all valid ethical behavior -- other positive traits, such as honesty and integrity, are just a good idea.

I have good social chops for someone who falls a little bit on the introvert side of the scale. I'm pretty confident most of the time, and love to perform. I just have limited endurance for these things.

Labels are sometimes useful
Poly: I've been in a committed open marriage since 1995. My wife and I both date other people individually, but not as a couple.
This blog post explains my feelings about love, sex, and dating better than I ever have.

Sex positive: As far as I'm concerned, sexual expression is as natural and appropriate as any other kind. I've had a lot of partners and always been open about my intentions.

Kink: I sometimes go dom for the right person. Otherwise meh.

Yes, I'm just another CIS/Het male. I know, terribly boring.

Dating preferences
These days I've come to really appreciate a quiet night in as often as not. But for a more active date, blues dancing or salsa, or doing something else with an athletic component tends to work well.
Meeting for tea or cocktails is fine for starting out.

Most of my relationships end up in a "friends with benefits" vibe, but an "antagonist with benefits" could be interesting. And an "enemy with benefits" might be really hot. (Now accepting applications.)

I'm also open to falling in love, if you are okay with emotional intimacy in a limited time frame.

Practical considerations
Availability: I work and have a full family life, but I'm open to anything from a one-time hook-up to an every other week relationship. I'm not much of a night owl these days unless I have a really good reason.

Space: My house in Renton is too full to bring dates home, but I can entertain at my apartment in Bellevue. I like to call it "The Kasbah". (Cue cheesy Moroccan-inspired disco music here.)

Kids: I have twin girls in high school. Not making any more.

Communication preferences:
I communicate best in person or by e-mail. Phone and text is for "Where are you? Okay. See you in 10".

I'm better one on one than in groups unless I'm performing/teaching/presenting.

I'm a physical guy regardless of my intentions, and I have a highly developed sense of touch. (Musician hands.)

I'm not a fan of cigarette smoke, so drink something before you kiss me. If you're drunk, give me a chance to catch up. And I have little patience for loud parties unless I'm performing or putting moves on someone.

Here's a compatibility test I wrote a long time ago. Includes some sexy stuff. It's about 90% accurate to what my tastes were in 2005.

You can hear samples of my music on (or you will be able to again once I renew the domain. In the meantime, you can search for wandering hands on CDBaby.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living the American Dream (TM) with a wife and kids and a house in the suburbs. Working as a software developer after nine years in technical communications. Making music at home with my kids. Being as fit and healthy as I possibly can (with the help of my trainers at Swordfighting in the SCA. Reducing the time commitments in my life so I can have more time to just *relax*, and trying to fit a modest dating life in with everything else I have going on. Periodically singing in occult-themed rock operas.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing lots of instruments, singing, dancing, swordfighting, quieting fussy babies, massage or anything involving touch, kissing/making-out, exerting my will over various building materials, parenting.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not sure right now. Probably that I look ten years younger than I am. Let me know if you notice something different.
Sometimes people think I have an accent, but it's just that I use actual consonants when I speak. It's a singer/actor thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I used to read a lot. These days, I just don't have much time for it. When I do, I mostly read classics or technical stuff, but I also try to find really good modern works, such as American Gods, and the Golden Compass series.

Movies: I'm not a big movie buff. If I do see a movie, I want it to be smart, beautiful, or both. Or maybe funny, but not in an obnoxious low-brow way. Les Miserables was the last thing I saw that met the bar.

Music: I play and sing world music, Celtic, Sephardic, Spanish, medieval and renaissance music and a little bit of swing, rockabilly, rock, and Hawaiian, some classical. Sometimes I write my own material, or more often I write new arrangements of existing pieces. I listen to lute music, classical guitar or Hawaiian slack-key for calm, baroque cello or renaissance choral polyphony for sorrow or melancholy, 90's swing, ska, or rockabilly to get my groove on or clean the house, independent folk or world music for mental stimulation, coffeehouse rock in the car.
Oddly, I'm not that into going to concerts -- too much of my brain gets wrapped up in analyzing the music to just flow with it.

Food and drink: I am gluten free, dairy free, and a foodie. I appreciate every ethnicity of food if I can eat it.
For drinks I appreciate good wines and classic cocktails, and dabble in mixology.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Really, nothing except the standard biological stuff. That and authenticity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Your lips on mine
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Running a family D&D game, or working on a project, or out with you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I can't think of anything particularly private to admit to
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Because i can't do a lot of late nights, I would prefer you be within a half hour or so of Renton (if you can host) or willing to drive to Bellevue to visit me.

Physically speaking, I will probably notice your face and the general type of energy you project at least as much as your body. That being said, I'm more likely to be attracted to you if you are physically fit or proportioned like a fit person.

I'm pretty open on age, but the older you are, the higher the bar, having mainly to do with potential vs. actualization. If you're significantly younger than me, great. I'll appreciate you at the life stage you're at. If you're older, give me a reason to look up to you.

I like to get to know people with different interests. Extra points if you have something you can geek out about, but still "pass" in mainstream society without too much effort.

Also, extra points for being different than me in an interesting way, whether by ethnicity/language/nationality, achievements, or life experiences.