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44 M Renton, WA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 18
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), French (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a balance of physical, intellectual, artist and sensualist. I am pagnostic with taoist leanings, and more philosophical than religious. I'm proud of my hippy upbringing and my values reflect that but my personal style does not. I believe kindness is the basis of all valid ethical behavior -- other positive traits, such as honesty and integrity, are just a good idea.

I have good social chops for someone who falls a little bit on the introvert side of the scale. I'm pretty confident most of the time, and love to perform. I just have limited endurance for these things.

Labels are sometimes useful
Poly: I've been in a committed open marriage since 1995. My wife and I both date other people individually, but not as a couple.
This blog post explains my feelings about love, sex, and dating better than I ever have.

Sex positive: As far as I'm concerned, sexual expression is as natural and appropriate as any other kind. I've had a lot of partners and always been open about my intentions.

Kink: I sometimes go dom for the right person. Otherwise meh.

Dating preferences
These days I've come to really appreciate a quiet night in as often as not. But for a more active date, blues dancing or salsa, or doing something else with an athletic component tends to work well.
Meeting for tea or cocktails is fine for starting out.

Practical considerations
Availability: I work and have a full family life, but I'm open to anything from a one-time hook-up to an every other week relationship. I'm not much of a night owl these days unless I have a really good reason.

Space: My house is too full to bring dates home. What about yours?

Kids: I have twin girls going into high school. Not making any more. It also means that, most of the time, I can't bring dates home. This last bit is expected to change in September 2014.

Communication preferences:
I communicate best in person or by e-mail. Phone and text is for "Where are you? Okay. See you in 10".

I'm better one on one than in groups unless I'm performing/teaching/presenting.

I'm a physical guy regardless of my intentions, and I have a highly developed sense of touch. (Musician hands.)

I'm not a fan of cigarette smoke, so drink something before you kiss me. If you're drunk, give me a chance to catch up. And I have little patience for loud parties unless I'm performing or putting moves on someone.

Here's a compatibility test I wrote a long time ago. Includes some sexy stuff. It's about 90% accurate to what my tastes were in 2005.

You can hear samples of my music on (or you will be able to again once I renew the domain. In the meantime, you can search for wandering hands on CDBaby.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living the American Dream (TM) with a wife and kids and a house in the suburbs. Working in technical communications. Not making enough music ( Being as fit and healthy as I possibly can (with the help of my trainers at Swordfighting in the SCA. Reducing the time committments in my life so I can have more time to just *relax*, and trying to fit a modest dating life in with everything else I have going on.
And I just finished recording my solo for the next rock opera :)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing lots of instruments, singing, dancing, swordfighting, quieting fussy babies, massage or anything involving touch, kissing/making-out, exerting my will over various building materials, parenting.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not sure right now. Probably that I look ten years younger than I am. Let me know if you notice something different.
Sometimes people think I have an accent, but it's just that I use actual consonants when I speak. It's a singer/actor thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Few books can hold my interest anymore. I've read enough in the various adventure novel genres that I rarely find anything that feels new and original. I'm starting to get that way with self-improvement books too. I can still read some classics, on the premise that the ideas in them were new at the time. The last series I really enjoyed was the Golden Compass, which is surprising because I don’t usually enjoy stories with such a blatant agenda (anti-theism), but in this case it was essential to the plot, and the plot was good, so it worked for me.

Movies: I'm not a big movie buff. If I do see a movie, I want it to be smart, beautiful, or both. Or maybe funny, but not in an obnoxious low-brow way. Les Miserables was the last thing I saw that met the bar.

Music: I play and sing world music, Celtic, Sephardic, Spanish, medieval and renaissance music and a little bit of swing, rockabilly, rock, and Hawaiian, some classical. Sometimes I write my own material, or more often I write new arrangements of existing pieces. I listen to lute music, classical guitar or Hawaiian slack-key for calm, baroque cello or renaissance choral polyphony for sorrow or melancholy, 90's swing, ska, or rockabilly to get my groove on or clean the house, independent folk or world music for mental stimulation, coffeehouse rock in the car.

Food and drink: I've recently become gluten free, dairy free, and mostly sugar free. And I'm a foodie. I appreciate every ethnicity of food if I can eat it.
For drinks I prefer good wines and classic cocktails. I've also taken up mixology as a minor hobby.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Really, nothing except the standard biological stuff. That and authenticity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My family, my next project, and you.
Okay, that was cheesy.
I'm working on switching over from tech writer to software developer, so I'm also thinking about algorithms and data structures.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I run a family D&D game on Friday nights, but I'm free after the kids go to bed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was diagnosed with a mild case of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I manage it really well, and you would never know it from interacting with me, but it means I can't stay up late too often. Hence, the preference for very local so I don't waste my limited date night hours driving around.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–49
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Because i can't do a lot of late nights, I would prefer you be within a half hour or so of Renton or South Bellevue, and be in a living situation where you can invite me in if you feel so inclined. The last part will become less important in a couple months.

Physically speaking, I will probably notice your face and the general type of energy you project at least as much as your body shape. I care more about health and fitness than about body type. In other words, I'm more likely to be attracted to someone tall and strong whose tummy hangs 4" over her jeans than to a sedentary skinny girl with bad posture and no muscle tone. That being said, I would prefer to be able to get my arms all the way around you.

I like to get to know people with different interests. Extra points if you have something you can geek out about, but still "pass" in mainstream society without too much effort.

Also, extra points for being different than me in an interesting way, whether by ethnicity/language/nationality, achievements, or life story...