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CaptSideburns

36 M Tempe, AZ

My Details

Last Online
Jul 24
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I grew up in CA and a year ago decided to relocate to AZ for a new job. I'm a software engineer by day and a musician by night. My goal is to be lazy by day and a musician by night but that's a tough gig to get.

I'm a big fan of fairs, festivals, and live music. I attended the AZ Renaissance Festival earlier this year and ate a turkey leg. I also threw axes and ninja stars. It was a pretty nice little Saturday.

I don't really follow professional sports but do enjoy the Olympics and World Cup. I guess when national pride is involved I get stoked because 'MURICA! I also like watching poker. And curling. I believe curling to be a very underrated sport. Also, if curling is in the Winter Olympics then why is bocce ball not in the Summer Olympics? It's essentially the same game. If anything bocce ball is cooler because old Italian men play it. I'm not Italian but credit where credit is due.

I also like camping and fishing. I'm not very good at fishing but I'm quite the woodsman when it comes to building a fire. We'll starve but at least we'll be warm. And I don't like to brag but I have seen several hours of Survivorman and I Shouldn't Be Alive so I think I'm mildly to moderately prepared should shit go down.
What I’m doing with my life
Getting settled into life in Arizona. Why do the weathermen here always feign surprise when they announce it will be hot?
I’m really good at
Playing music.
Playing poker.
Grilling.
Being a woodsman.
Singing.
Shaping my sideburns.
The first things people usually notice about me
I get comments on my eyes and hair a lot. Those are the only things I know for certain.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, East of Eden, Infinite Jest.

Movies: American History X, American Beauty, Blow, Swingers, Rounders, Anchorman, Old School, pretty much anything with Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn.

TV: The Office, The Big Bang Theory, Top Gear, Kitchen Nightmares, Hell's Kitchen, Criminal Minds, Friends, Impractical Jokers.

Music: Maceo Parker, Cannonball Adderly, Brian Setzer, Roomful of Blues, Rival Sons, Dave Matthews Band, Joe Bonamassa, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Charlie Parker, Jon Coltrane.

Food: Italian and Mexican are at the top of my preference list but I'm not too picky in general.
The six things I could never do without
Music
Meat
Sunshine
Good lovin'
Human contact
Freedom
I spend a lot of time thinking about
"Why isn't bocce ball in the Olympics?"

"Does that asshole realize nobody likes hearing him whistle?"

"Why did the cashier give me my change as one quarter and three dimes rather than two quarters and one nickel?"

"Why did that person stop walking as soon as they got out of the store thereby blocking the exit for their fellow patrons?"

"You have to be lazy as fuck to stand still on a descending escalator."
On a typical Friday night I am
Well I hate to admit it but these days my Friday nights are generally spent at home. Shenanigans may include, but are not limited to, cooking food, watching a movie, or playing Xbox. Shenanigans subject to change without notice. Void where prohibited.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Years ago an ex requested to violate me with a strap-on. I politely declined.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
I'm trying to meet new people here so whether you're interested in just friendship or more, either is cool. I'm also not saying that as some kind of ploy. Honest. I don't own a rape van or anything.