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Captain_Crunch_2

25 M Nappanee, IN

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 56–72
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Mostly halal
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Mongolian (Poorly), Gujarati (Okay), Esperanto (Fluently), Swahili (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Glen I live in Nappanee , Indiana. I play semi pro football, I love my two nieces and one little nephew to death, and I drive a 2007 Ford Escape. ((Update: I traded my Escape in and bought an '09 Jeep Patriot. Pretty happy about that.) Update on the update: I got sick of being asked to help my friends move and bought a car, finally got the leather seats I've dreamed about since I was 3)) That's a good little mix of things to get started, I suppose. Oh, and when I was answering my body type, I selected "Used Up" because I thought it was funny, not because it was true. I wear a size 13 shoe, but a size 12 sock. I'm a vegetarian, but I also eat beef and pork. Chicken, also.

Turn-ons would include having all arms and legs and preferably not dating other guys. I also have a thing for really short or really tall girls. Or girls that are kinda medium. Any kind of sports fanhood would be a plus, but it's never a dealbreaker.
Turn-offs would include girls who don't like leading an active lifestyle and chewing with your mouth open. Not a fan. I also don't like Canadians or people from Nebraska for whatever reason.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm focusing on my writing full time these day. I write for a couple websites, and I love to challenge myself to see how creative and entertaining I can be on paper. I live by myself in a house in Nappanee, with a fish and a cat (sounds cute, but I'm pretty sure they hate each others guts) and I plan on going back to school and getting another degree, but just for fun this time, in a subject like paleontology or Ancient Australian history or something like that.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at most things, actually. I play all sports and I can definately hold my own in each of them. I can cook, I play the piano, I can fix my own vehicles. I can quote every movie ever made, regardless of whether I've seen it or not. I also dominate Jeopardy, for what that's worth. I'm really great with kids, even though they scare the heck out of me.
Things I suck at:
Rollerblading. Avoiding touchy subjects. Peeling oranges. Karate. CandyLand. My 5 year old niece beats me every single time we play. It's bizarre. I can't beat her.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, I haven't taken a survey of people recently, but I have an aura of confidence, I've been told. Other than that, people usually notice how easy I am to get along with. I can talk knowledgeably about most subjects, and Id rather listen than talk, so I make it easy to carry on a conversation. Also, I've got a monkey in a top hat that follows me around. People notice that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot of John Grisham books. Tucker Max is the funniest author of all time. I listen to a ton of stand up comedians, like Kevin Hart, Louis CK, Bill Burr, Bo Burnham, and Daniel Tosh. I eat everything, my parents seriously nicknamed me The Human Garbage Disposal, but I don't gain weight, so that's good. I drink a swimming pools worth of Diet Mt. Dew daily, and as a result I'm usually so jacked on caffeine I can barely remember what day it is, yet somehow remain functional.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My family. I couldn't imagine not being able to call up my mom or hang out with my dad or brothers or not have the beautiful nieces I have.
2. My car. I love to drive, I love behind the wheel and driving for two hours in some random direction, stopping, taking a picture wherever I am, and coming home. There's no better way to clear your head
3. Sports. I love to compete, but more than that I just like being part of a team and staying healthy.
4, 5, and 6. Thunderstorms, music, and low grade black tar heroin. Just kidding about that last one.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Nothing. I spend a lot of time living. Most thinkers are not doers.
I do occasionally think about just the dumbest stuff imaginable, like how many jelly beans I could eat before I overdosed, or what type of animals I would have if I was a supervillain.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Trying to figure out how to breach zoo security so I can steal a giraffe.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I want a clone. Real, real bad.

Also, please do not message me if:
You look like a slut in your picture. If I wanted a hooker, I'd get one.
You spel lik3 dis yo lolz. Books are there for a reason. Read one.
You are orange. Tan, good, orange, bad.
No DUDES OR TRANNIES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD QUIT MESSAGING ME, and I cannot believe I have to say that.
No one under 21, and I swear I'll check your ID.
If I gave you an IQ test, and a toaster an IQ test, and the toaster would beat you, do not message me.
I realize these are harsh, demanding criteria, but all are absolute dealbreakers.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are tired of dating guys whose first priority is themselves.

But please don't say, "Hey you seem really nice, I'd love to get to know you". That's very sweet, but its difficult to build a conversation that way. All I can say back is "Yeah, I really am nice, thanks for noticing". So do this instead: Tell me what your name would be if you were a professional wrestler, and your favorite Power Ranger. Thats an easy icebreaker ladies, amirite?