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29 M Fremont, CA

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:50pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
This recent time period's thing that is pretty awesome, as of 9/30, an acquaintance rants on a message board:

"Violence against women is not "socially acceptable," but it is socially accepted. That is, as a society, we accept that violence against women is the natural state of things; that men beat and rape and murder women and that this is, if not right, at least proper, at least something you expect and understand as How Things Work. "Woman cheats on man, man murders woman in response" is a familiar narrative and comfortable in its violence, because it fits the narrative of the world as we understand it: women are duplicitous and fickle, men are violent and jealous, and so that's just the outcome you expect. All the more so if the players involved are non-white and/or lower-class, because then we can map it to a whole other set of cultural narratives. So when a video game shows us a random husband beating his equally-generic wife or a nameless prostitute getting murdered (and then shows us these same things over and over again as random world events), or when a police procedural opens with a dramatic scene of a spurned lover attacking and killing the former object of his affections (and do note the word object), and when these things tell us that they are GRITTY and REALISTIC, there's a clear message being sent that says "this is the way the world works." And that's not to say that these things don't happen in real life, because they certainly do, or that every time a man hurts a woman in fiction it's socially harmful or irresponsible or whatever, because there are certainly ways to portray these things that are thoughtful and nuanced. But when the same tropes and the same stories keep getting played out in media over and over again, and when writers don't feel the need to put any thought or depth into the scenarios because we all know this story, the sheer pervasiveness of it turns into a dangerous little self-perpetuating message: "Gee, it sure is too bad women have to get murdered all the time, but that's just the way things are." But violence isn't just the way things are, it's actual tragedy that happens to actual human beings, and the violence isn't going to stop so long as we keep saying it's the way things are supposed to happen."

Wasn't that awesome? That was awesome. Here's the less awesome talking-about-myself part.

I am a regularly confused person with mixed feelings on where he is going in life and a sense of discontent with himself that he has not yet reconciled with reality. Also, I write overly pretentious self-summaries on dating websites. If I could make a living off words that don't make sense, by god, I would be rich.

The more time I spend on this website, the more I become convinced that I may well be its most boring man. I see profiles with stuff like, "I am always being creative, I volunteer at a hospital for mentally disabled animals with drug addictions before spending my evenings at an orphanage for disenfranchised White Martians, and then I get three hours of sleep while simultaneously practicing photography and cliff-diving needlepoint." And I think, "well, I, uh...I played some Morrowind today." This place is giving me a complex.

So, everything above this line was written two years ago. Now, 8/2/2013, I am finally adding this sentence: I am dealing with this complex by trying to do more shit. That's right: Only took me two years to figure that one out. I'm a quick one.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am working at a software company as a security specialist, while attempting to get my flabby ass in shape enough to pursue martial arts, as it's something I dearly wanted to do as a teenager but never found the time for. Writing periodically fits in here somewhere.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Doing right by other people. Swearing. Feeling overly concerned about things I perceive in myself that are probably not an issue. Basically, being insecure. I'm totally awesome at being insecure, with a minor in coming to terms with it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You know, you'd have to ask them. But you can't ask them, because you don't know them. We're at an impasse, OKCupid. I don't know what we can do about this one. I'm so sorry it didn't work out, I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I'll always have a place in my heart for you, OKCupid. You'll always be my first.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books in no particular order except the first:
-Gateway by Frederik Pohl, a wonderful, underrated book that I read far, far, far too early in my life for its subject matter and I am thankful for that on a daily basis
-House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, though admittedly less from an emotional perspective and more from a technical appreciation for meta-writing
-Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand (okay it's a play and not a traditional book but it's my list so fuck you), which basically got me through my adolescence
-James Robinson's run on Starman, one of the few comics that makes me weepy
-more things I'll think of later when it's not three in the morning

Movie: As Good As It Gets, The Royal Tenenbaums, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Music: way, way too random to list, but anything's welcome although I admit having serious problems accepting country music in my life due to an exponential level of repetitions of "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" during high school gym class
update: I was always dissatisfied with this answer, as it seems far too nonspecific. To better elucidate on my melodic schizophrenia, a randomly-generated seven-man pull from my library returned Chiddy Bang, Meat Loaf, Paul Simon, Jacques Brel, LCD Soundsystem, the Scissor Sisters and The World/Inferno Friendship Society. Yeah.
Update, 7/18: I've discovered Tally Hall's "Be Born" makes me tear up. I don't know what this means for my future as an adult, but it can't be good.

Food: cliches
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-My friends. Mind you, I am aware this is the most cliche and overused answer on this site and, I daresay, every self-summary in the history of mankind. All the same it is true, and especially so for me. I do not have a family in any traditional sense of the term; my friends ARE my family. Without them I'm pretty sure I would shrivel up and die.
-My capacity for using my body. I'm a lifelong gamer, nerd and office worker, so this feels like something of a weird oxymoron, but it's true. I love kickboxing, I love jiu-jitsu, I love (and hate) working out. I'd like to learn how to dance, but my German-Swedish-American background leaves me inherently incapable of rhythm.
-Singing, which is funny, because aside from maybe two or three people I never do it in front of human beings. The emotional egress is too good, but I am a tad too embarrassed by it.
-My computer. I'm pretty sure without the grace of a PC I would devolve further and further and be one day found naked in my backyard, banging on a rock with another, smaller rock.
-My complete inability to do math or count.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Matters of politics that I will likely never have an impact on nor will they have a noticeable impact on me (living in the bay area means I am thankfully immune to most GOP issues, but seriously, what the fuck, North Carolina), horrendously nerdy things about comic books and video games and the evolution of both as storytelling mediums, and the slow, inexorable death of my sense of carefree living now that I am old enough to realize that my pursuit of money ruins my ability to enjoy pretending my cardboard box is a spaceship.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Collapsing from a prolonged workweek into a pile formed by my dogs and looking forward to a weekend of punching inanimate (but cushy) objects and relaxing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I often question whether or not I am actually a real human being.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I was always dissatisfied with my answer to this question, because "if you want to" is a kind of a copout. Moreover, it was something of an excuse--I was always vaguely terrified of somehow offending someone by messaging them, consequently I'd leave the burden of doing so on them.

I'm not quite so terrified of this anymore. But getting messages is wonderful, because people on the internet are interesting and the egostroke of being interesting enough to warrant messaging never gets old for my terminally neurotic ass.

(alternately: if you know who Kazushi Sakuraba is, drop me a line.)