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Carlaco

31 Roxbury, MA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–61
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 7″ (1.69m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Capricorn
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Education
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Rotuman (Poorly), Yiddish (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Warning, this is a long profile. Uh, definitely NOT an elevator pitch. More like a 3 hr cruise :) Feel free to skim (at your own risk. If you can speed read, you are ahead of the the proverbial game). Reading this profile is not a sprint but a marathon! Did I mention it was long!!.

My stated age above is obfuscated! Only the NSA knows the real number (who cares any way) :) I am experimenting with it, so don't be alarmed if you see it change periodically. I am trying to hack the OKC robot, aka Algo E Rhythm (not related to Algo Chinicella).

Moved to Roxbury/Fort Hill area from Somerville so I can be closer to my new job (doing a 100 meter dive, with a triple twist-Asai-plancha-flying rana, into public service).

Where to start........I switched gears, focused on making positive change (in education) before I turn back into stardust. I have shifted from the 'D' or 'Drive' gear of life to the 'O' or Overdrive gear within the last 8 months (the O drive is usually hidden, until we find it. Still haven't found the G spot though. I have several G strings....for my violin, silly). I am focused and enjoying the journey than worrying about the eventual destination. Life if truly too short.

So I have hit the the open road of purposeful / service oriented living (read the 'what I am doing now' section. HINT - career change), ripped off the rear view mirror, pimped my soul, scanning the endless amazing horizon, and drinking a lot of passion laced (low fat, low carb, high in optimism, taurine free) cool aid :) With the pedal to the metal (or the heel to the steel, if you are from parts down south. Think The Dukes of Hazard. I have no idea what you would say if you are from 'down under').

The strip of coiffed hair on my chinny, chin chin is called a soul strip (I have been asked 'WTF is that thing', in French & in Mohican - yes, the last Mohican). If you zoom in and overlay a grid and use a caliper to measure the distance of the strip from top to bottom, and side to side, you will find that the ratio is equivalent to the ratio of the base to the height of the Pyramid of Khufu (Cheops) in Giza! Don't ask what happens to my strip of hair on the vernal or autumnal equinox (especially at 12.05 pm...especially if I am at Stonehenge). Don't go there.

I would have grown a mustache for Movember but, I am afraid I may look like too many of the international villains on Interpol's most wanted list!

I like intensity in tent cities (Burning Man?).

Give your self 5.25679 minutes (mas o menos tres minutos) to read my profile, (ceteris paribus ).

In a nutshell (loconut shell) I am just a cool dude in a loose mood (sedated by a wee bit of psychotropic drugs, I jest) who smells good, 'like a gentle breeze that takes you by surprise' (No I did not swipe that from an old Summer's Eve commercial) (I use ShowerToShower). I am zestful , zenful, & zensitive (that does not mean I am effeminate! Maybe a bit in my stilettos).

I am also human (if there was any doubt. Admit it you thought I was some sort of two toed ungulate), with just a bit of carry on baggage (having zapped most of my other baggage & starting a new phase of my life. PSYCHED). Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead (I figure nautical references are par for the course in and around Bahston (except for the obvious seamen statements. Don't gross out....yet)).

Please don't ask me to take a drug test. I can't remember the names of today's drugs. Vardenafil Hydrochloride? Omeprazole? Clindamycin Phosphate? I will fail miserably!!

[The descriptions depicted in this well thought out, rambling profile are figmental (like the Fig Newton). Any similarity to any person living or dead (or medicated or somewhere in between) is merely coincidental] :]

Moved to the Boston in the fall of 2012 after a brief stint in Austin, TX and before that grew up Chitown/Chicago. I haven't unpacked my adjectives yet. (Hoooray, I'm for the other team).

I work al dente and play al fresco ! (I also like my pizza hot like my women. OR was that spicy like my chorizo ). :)

I am determined to find that one darned word that rhymes with orange! Yes in English.

I'm 5' 70576", 5' 9" in my platform shoes and 6 feet in my Stilettos! My height is adjustable (not much else).

What does it mean if men on OKC identify themselves as having a 'little extra' ?

Looking for funtelligent (with the emphasis on intelligent ) folks to befriend or a band of heroines to bond with (heroes & gyros are over rated. Unless they are Turkish gyros). If you want to keep the relationship platonic, hey that's great. If you prefer a more 'plate tectonic' relationship, lets see where it goes (or even something in between. I like to span the continua).

I believe in equal opportunity, so if you want me to be your frenemy let me know. (I have this great patent pending algorithm that combines your shoe size and olfactory levels of your pheromones to determine a frenemy fit) :]

I vacillate between passion & indifference depending on the context (read, it depends if I am taking my meds or not). Kidding!!!

I am a reformed narcissist. No I was not skin head :]

I am sophisticated. Heck I love my soy milk shaken, not stirred dammit (think Eddie Murphy as Gumby) :]

I am a loving guy (think michael jackson - I'm a lover not a fighter). Heck I hug any and every tree I can get my arms around. Even if they are diseased :] That's a lot of loving.♫

I am compassionate. I give out library cards to pan handlers (knowledge is power). Just kidding. My cup runneth over in the compassion corner (especially if her name is Gwyneth). I do have a soft spot for street performers who play the violin (especially baroque music) and other stringed instruments (especially if they are singing and playing their own songs). I almost always give them something. I truly believe that one of your duties in life is to increase compassion in any way possible.

I am working on being self actualized. I have been baptized though:] A lot of good that did, for I am of the atheist persuasion. That doesn't mean I am not spiritual (I am slowly slouching towards it. That sloth in me I guess).

I am not looking for a soul mate.....yet. My soul is in the healing process (there is a sign on the door that says, 'Takin' A Ride on the Sooooooooul Train' ). The exit ramp after years of committed relationship needs a bit of navigation. I am trying to find my Northstar and avoid a false start (statistics bear this out). A babe in the woods again with a wolf whistle. (If you know what the heck that meant, please let me know) :)

I have found new religion in wellness (can I get a Hallelujah, Amen, Praise the Lord, please), being healthy and taking care of myself. I love to run and run about 20 to 40 miles a week. I LOVE doing long runs (10 - 15 miles) and find it very therapeutic & relaxing (you know that special feeling when you get all soaked in sweat and caked in sweat salt. Gosh it does wonders for my pores.). I also like to bike, long distances (40- 60 miles) on my hybrid mountain bike and hike trails of all levels of difficulty and length. (Completed my first 100 mile race for a charitable cause). Wonder if I can swim in the Chaahls Rivah :] I am up for a fun run anytime.

I am looking forward to trying some New England summer activities: white water rafting, hiking Mass, NH, & Maine mountains, kayaking, paddle boarding, sailing, rowing, milking cows (I want to drink raw milk).

I started doing yoga but I keep getting into positions (Vrischikasana, Kapotasana, Hey-what-the-heck-is-that-sana, etc) that I can't out of, which invariably leads me to use my LifeAlert (you know the Help! I've Fallen and I can't get up) (assuming I can reach it). Isn't there an app for that ? :]

I do have some athletic aspirations: I want to finish a marathon in under 4 hrs (ran 5 thus far, passed out in the last one, with less than a mile left, so f'in close but no cigar). UPDATE - I finished the Providence Marathon on 5/12/2013 in 3hrs 57min 40s. I can check that off. Next goal: complete a 1/2 iron man & eventually a full iron man (2 mile swim, 100 mile bike and 26.2 mile run). If you are looking for a training partner/coach let me know.

I love to travel and experience locales. In the US I LOVE the National Parks. I have been to Yellowstone, Grand Tetons (who doesn't love Tetons), Wind Cave, Devil's Tower, Badlands, Mt Rushmore, Grand Canyon, Mt Rainier, Straits of Juan De Fuca (sea kayaking), Columbia River Gorge, Arcadia National Park and Lake Tahoe (a state park actually). I have also rafted on the Snake River and the American River. I am staying away from the Chattooga River, lest I end up squealing like a pig (think Deliverance the movie) :]

I have been to interesting places around the world, Costa Rica, UK, Germany, India, Bali, Singapore, and well .... Canada (is it a real country? Blame Canada) :]. In Canada - Vancouver, London, Stratford (love Shakespeare, eh), Toronto, Montreal, Kingston, Quebec City.

Just (3/2013) visited Berlin, Leipzig, Munchen (Munich), Salzburg, Wein (Vienna), Praha(Prague) and Dresden. Loved Vienna & Prague (I am a sucker for palaces, churches and Gothic & Baroque architecture).

I have a list of places I want to go (tops - is to trek/travel the Silk Road from end to end). Whose in?

I am pretty sure that I don't have a file with 1-800-DNA-TEST (the who yo daddy company)!!! (I think. Well there was that time in Band Camp...).

I love creative cooking, mixing up ingredients in new and novel ways. (Yes my dishes are edible and I have received some complements on my creations. No I have not killed anybody yet, nor have I given anyone an upset stomach :] ). I am dabbling with the idea of doing a multi-media cook book some day. Who knows I could be the next Giada de Laurentiis, sans the low cut tops (they are a distraction). Hey maybe my low cut top can be my shtick :] You should see me wiggle my pecs (Cue that old Jello jingle 'What it wiggle, see it jiggle...')

I am an information sponge with a hyper curiosity for anything and all things dealing with education, science (brain science especially, not weird science), technology, economics, film, learning/enrichment, politics, financial markets, international relations, food/cooking, western history, philosophy, the kitchen sink. I LOVE passionate (yet respectful, think Question Time at the UK Parliament :] ) conversations, especially those that challenge my existing views (except when I am correct :] ).

I am not interested in flattening my learning curve any time soon. I am constantly updating my mental map by challenging my assumptions and forcing myself to look at things from different perspectives (except when I am correct :] ). It has allowed me to grow, try new things and deal with the world in a realistic and pragmatic way (I am by nature, skeptical yet caustically, I mean cautiously optimistic ;) That means I am a 50.00927%, full glass person.).

I am learning to walk the talk about consumption (give me a soap box and I can stand on it without peeing for hours). I have cut back, at least by 70%, on throw away items, reduced my daily caloric intake, eating more raw foods (yes including the occasional meat), berate people for throwing away food, and chide children for leaving food on their plate (I am one of those people who will ask politely if I can take your leftovers if you have no intention of consuming it).

Keep going, you are 1/4 way there. Focus !!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for wild thyme :)

Trying to find a Sicilian restaurant in the Boston area that serves pani ca meusa (found mostly, if not exclusively, in Palermo).

Trying to figure out how I am going to get past the FDA Phase I trials for my coffee enema product :] I am in stealth mode. It's goin' to be hot!! Update (6/9/13), some hard ass at the FDA did not approve my product for Phase 1 ! No enema for him!

Violating the CAP Theorem (aka Brewer's theorem)

Practicing my pan flute, hoping that one day I will ascend the throne vacated by Zamfir !

I discovered inguinal myocardia :] (Go ahead Google that one. Make my day). It is my fancy, medical way to say 'pain-in-the-ass'.

Being a metrosexual and loving it !! (I jest).

Learning to speak Jive from watching Airplane clips :] Heck if June Cleaver can do it, so can I !

Professional Life - working with start ups & being a software product management professional (not a techie but more on the biz side, mostly enterprise software). Ask me about the infamous Network Effect !
Update: after 25 years in the tech industry, as of 6/1/2013 I am pursuing my passion (which I have put off for 20 yrs) in education by becoming an teacher; teaching STEM to girls in an undeserved area at a middle school in Boston (student population is mostly girls of color, who qualify for the federal lunch program, from a single parent household etc). Will be working on my masters in education and thinking seriously about getting my PhD in this area as well.

Personal Life

Being involved in advocating STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics) programs with an emphasis on entrepreneurship for young girls (during middle school, girls loose interest in science & math. Research has indicated that teachers are the main cause of this), especially for girls in disadvantaged or low income schools, reforming our k-12 educational system, social entrepreneurship (using business mechanisms to improve community/increase compassion, focusing on social out comes over monetary ones).

Living life and enjoying every moment using a framework expounded by Robert Skidelsky and Edward Skidelsky in their book How Much is Enough: Money and the Good Life. I am simplifying my life everyday, focusing on needs and not wants.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Creating beautiful, hand crafted fiber art from belly button lint.

Creative Cooking (Have you tried a peanut butter-jelly dosa ? :] ) Seriously, I love to cook and for those wanna be chefs or posers, lets get it on and have a Bobby Flay style throw down (sans the theatrics), Mano a Mana. Or is it Mani (I am so confused with this whole concept of gender agreement). What if you are neither. I mean really.

Trivia - Yes I can probably kick some serious butt in Trivial Pursuit. (There are some pretty sore butts out there)

Having some Midol handy for when my female friends have a bitch fit. JUST KIDDING !!!

Having a spirited conversation on current events or being the devil's advocate (my throat has been choked many of times. I thought I was getting a massage :] )

Doing a killer impersonation of Louis Armstrong singing 'Hello Dolly' . Or singing 'C is For Cookie' by the Cookie Monster.

Talking like Tony Montana (aka Scarface) complete with the f bombs and the cooban accent. 'Meet my leeetle friend'.

I have a sense of humor / Finding humor in any situation. (If that is not apparent by now, I have failed miserably. I am not worthy !! )

Simulating a heartbeat using my left pectoral muskles (as Popeye would say it) (for you medical types, what's wrong with this picture? It is on your board exam). Message me if you want the answer :)

Looking at the bigger picture and seeing the hues & the grays (except when I am right :] )

Interacting with kids. I have been called The Kid Whisperer (or crazy). What can I say, I love kids and their sense of wonder, inexhaustible curiosity, persevering through repeated failures; qualities that we loose as we become adults! I want to be a kid again.

Driving long distances: 17 -19 hour stretches without bathroom breaks (I love those adult diapers but would not live up to Woodsy The Owl's words of wisdom, uh, song of wisdom. I just whip out the used diapers and toss them out the car. Think Zoolander. Putting them on while zooming at 80 miles an hour is an art, with a wee bit of science, and dab of yoga, hatha yoga)

Half way there. Don't stop now, keep going !! Step on it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Those bulky diapers :]

That I look like a Lucky Charm (the cereal) and that I am magically delicious!

I stay calm and marath-on.

I am an irregular guy (something that a little Metamucil can fix ?)

I look like I have been injected with sodium thiopental (commonly known as sodium pentothal) and I am ready to tell the truth about how I REALLY feel about paisley ties & shirts.

I keep getting hit up for drugs from the younger set and treated as cougar bait from the other end of the age distribution (fun being cougar bait) :]

I am a kid at heart (really) and act like a wise (cracking) 20 yr old ! Seriously I don't act my age. Don't be scared by it.

The One Ring inscription (in Tengwar script, that's from the Lord of Ring folks) tattooed around my mid section. It can be seen more clearly when it is hot :)

A bad ass rapper chick once rapped to me: 'Too hot to handle too cold to hold' .

I am chill (?)

I blurt out world language phrases at inappropriate times (because I have no clue as to what they mean). For example like saying ''Je ne sais pas' when a woman asks 'do you have any brains' !

I am terrible when it comes to small talk. (If you ask me about the weather, I have a tendency to give you the hourly forecast including the forecast of the barometric pressure. Just don't ask. Just step away)

I have sense.... of humor that involves connecting multiple dots. Kinda like that Connect Four game. Am I dating myself ?

I have a reasoned opinion on many things (I know I am right :] ). I can talk for hours about myself & hair products .

I will confess I don't know a lot (I should have saved this for this for the 'Most Private Thing I am Willing To Admit' section down below.)

You have made it this far !! Don't stop now. It only gets better !
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
On TV...
I don't watch TV because I don't own one. Having said that I can be captivated by shows like How Things Are Made, MythBusters, shows on NatGeo, or the latest red neck reality show (Like Toothless Dames & Dentists) :] .

Update I had my first (and only) Netflix binge watching experience recently. Of all the shows, it was Scandal !! I am so ashamed :)

About Books...
I read mostly (like 99%) nonfiction books about science, society, people. My recent reads include The Origin of Wealth (Evolution, Complexity, & the Radical Remaking of Economics), The Innovator's Prescription, Intelligence Reframed, How Computer Games Help Children Learn, Saving Capitalism From Capitalists, Fault Lines, The Upside of Turbulance, The Day of Empire, Made To Stick, The Blank Slate, Enriching The Brain, Superconnect, The Quants, Disrupting Class, Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries, Thinking Fast & Slow, Nudge, How Much is Enough. No 50 Shades of Grey (mommy porn) for me (I'll wait for the movie).

Regrading Movies....
I LOVE movies ever since I was kid (I have seen about 2,000+ movies in the last 31 yrs). I love indie (not Hindi) movies mostly, foreign movies, classics, movies with lotsa special effects, period pieces..

Recent movies - The Secret in Their Eyes (El secreto de sus ojos), Sita Sings The Blues, Young Victoria, The Sicilian Girl, The Jacket, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Amexicano, The Madness of King George, Chronos, Valhalla Rising, The Fountain, Flame and Citron, Moon, Conversations with Other Women, The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, Pandorum, Dark City, Amores Perros, Witness for The Prosecution, War of Arrows, Limitless, Warriors of the Rainbow: Seediq Bale.

I am a sucker for well made (set design, costumes, cinematography) period pieces. Maybe I should just share my Netflix viewing history !!

Let's not forget la musica.....
I love exploring and discovering new music; any kind of music (really) except hip hop & pop (maybe some old school and certain crossovers).

I can close my eyes and listen to bands like Explosions in the Sky and Lanterna for hours. They evoke particular emotions like no other music. Ra Ra Riot is on HEAVY rotation on my music player. So is the NPR Music SXSW 100 for 2013! Loving 75% of the bands thus far.

I love the playlist from the following online radio stations: KCRW (Santa Monica), KUT (Austin), & NPR Music.

I have come to appreciate Baroque music ever since I started to play the violin (5 years ago, as a Suzuki dad, I decided to play along with my girls). I like music from the Classical era as well and some of the popular ones from the Romantic and 20th Century eras.

About the other arts....
I love the performing arts - theater, plays , also I try to make it to Startford, Ontario (how the heck did those canucks get good at Shakespeare...eh) every year to see some great Shakespeare productions), musicals (Book of Mormon is on my list), ballet (something to be said about men in tights), opera (I am still kicking myself for not seeing Der Ring des Nibelungen by the Chicago Civic Opera, complete with bungee jumping) and musical performances (symphonic orchestras to intimate club gigs etc). I am intrigued by spectacle theater such as those performed by Redmoon theater in Chicago. I also love to see theater performances from other cultures.

Experience Gastrointromomiqe
I LOVE food . Any type of food (think Andrew Zimmern). I DON'T have a favorite food or dish. I like to pimp out my gustatory system. I LOVE to try new foods and I try not to frequent the same restaurant more than once (there are way too many establishments to discover).

I love desserts and at times I eat it before the main meal (I will buy an entire cake or pie and just eat it for breakfast...over a course of several days that is).

I love Pecan Pies, Carrot Cakes, Cheesecake (Chicago Style, more dense, the better), Triple Threat Chocolate Cake (bigger the slice, the better), Bread Pudding, Cobblers (in that order). Even though I am mostly vegetarian, I have a weakness for Texas BBQ. Yes I can probably live on desserts and BBQ :]

I am a beer snob and love nut brown ales, porters, and oatmeal stouts (The English makes the best IMHO. I love Samuel Smith). I love my beers dark like my ..... chocolate).

I also love red wine with a particular weakness for Zins (no, not white Zin, except the boxed kind :] ) and other full bodied (is it wrong to use the word bodacious in this context. Help me out here people) varietals. I love Ice wine with desserts and have been known to down 1/2 bottle of Chocolate infused red wine with chocolaty desserts (I end up staying up all night because of all the darn caffeine from the chocolate. Oy vey. Which is why I end up reading all those books and watching movies).

I have come to appreciate single malt scotch (10+ yrs) and high end aged tequila (from my time in Austin, Texas). My newest find is Peruvian Pisco! Don't get me started on Arak (too many bad experiences). Ask me about toddy (fermented sap from coconut palm) & fish curry.

No I am not a lush (I would be great playing one on TV (think Ted Striker with a drinking problem in the movie Airplane).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
THINGS not people

1. Non-fiction books
2. Music
3. Unadulterated Nature
4. Sunshine
5. Dark chocolate
6. Deep fried PBJ sandwich (with cinnamon encrusted mangoes in between)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Am I part of someone's randomized control trial. Should I anticipate an intervention. What is my p-value (not to be confused with the ph of my pee). What if I am double blind :]

When OKC users state that they like to go clubbing on a Friday night, I am imagining, clubbing baby seals to death on some desolated Newfoundland coastline (wondering how do they drive up there so quickly for a night of adventure. Not to mention the expensive dry cleaning charges they will incur for getting the blood out of their hoochie mama skimpy outfits) :]

Should I be indifferent if an OKC profile mentions 'High Priestess' (I can't help thinking about the priestly dude from Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom !!!)

'Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma' - Vampire Weekend

What if Bhima & Arjuna (from the Mahābhārata) did a Hanz and Franz skit on SNL ? :] What Indian accent would they use? The faux bastardized, upper crust Victorian Indian accent (think Ismail Merchant movies).

What if the Letterman from Sesame Street was dyslexic ? (Does he use a The Dolch Word List)

How many times I can circumnavigate the Earth (or as Bugs Bunny would say it, the oyth) if I walk along the beach with every women on OKC who state that they would like to do so. (Do these woman realize the amount of bacteria that live in sand and how porous their feet are ? These are the same women who want the men to smell fresh like Summer Eve :] )

Why is there SO MUCH conspicuous consumption in our society.

(Everything I own fits in two suitcases & three boxes. Trying to get rid of more stuff). Not being preachy, but there are more than enough resources to solve some of the major problems in our world, but we choose not to because of twisted priorities. Go ahead message me if you want me to depress you with stats :] ).

How to consume less and give back more to society through social entrepreneurship. Have some ideas that I need to flesh out, test and execute.

How to educate the next generation by chucking the current inadequate system of public education. Been informally researching this for the last three years and following some success stories.

How we learn, know and how the brain works. I am scared knowing that my brain craves fat, sugar and sex (The Compass of Pleasure is a good read on this). What if the price of sugar goes up? Then what do I do :]

Hair growth patterns on my chest (some days it looks like crop circles, or like Nazca lines of Peru, or some stranded person on a deserted island writing YELP).
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Soaking my self in powdered sodium hexametaphosphate, AKA Calgon !!!

Chillaxing

Having dinner with friends or family, or dinner out, or watching a movie at home (Netflix) sometimes with a beer (dark) in one hand wearing just my underoos (they are fun to wear), concurrently tweeting, texting, facebooking, instagraming, tumbling, vine-ing, snap chatting, (<- dang that was an oxford comma) and other actions one does with the internet (yes I am a internut).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I start whistling 'Always Look On The Bright Side of Life' (from Monty Python Life of Brian) when an OKC date is NOT going well. Just harmonize if you find yourself in that situation.

I sometimes confuse polymammary (having three or more mammary glands) with polyamory or even polyarmoury (I think it refers to some medieval militaristic concept).

I have been scolded for excessive use of parenthesis (and brackets {squiggly and squared] ) and exclamation marks !!!!!

I used to work at the Midvale School For The Gifted (as chronicled by Gary Larson)

I was rejected by the State Prison in Concord when I signed up for their volunteer conjugal visits program (I figured I could lift some spirits). They said I did not have enough experience ! That soured my view on nonprofits !

I own a pair of those 'MC Hammer/Harem Pants'. (Yes I do wear them once in a while and dance to 'Can't Touch This'.....Hammer time. Needless to say that my neighbors inevitably call the cops on me. Don't even ask what the cops say to me when they see me in my pants.).

I watch sports in my stilettos (and do all kinds of those 'touch down'/celebratory dances in them. I can do the Watusi in them as well).

I prounce on trampalines in my custom made kilt (it allows me to perform all sorts of aerial stunts, without the family jewels being tossed around).

Myers Briggs created a new indicator for me: WTF-RU
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You believe in taking care of your mind (life learner), body (eat well and in great shape) and spirit (you like to drink single malt Scotch neat & prefer Pisco from Peru than Chile. Escuchan Mé people).

Your are looking for THAT wrong guy for the right reasons :) (Just a small jab, as opposed to the jib, at those women looking for the one right guy ;) ).

You have a burning desire to go to The Burning Man out west and wish for God's presence in your life (because, like me, you are a Saturday sinner, but a Sunday Saint. Or was that a Monday mourner and a Tuesday tanner)

If you know how to use the camera timer on your smarthphone (can't let the phone outsmart you). This will eliminate those dorky bathroom mirror shots. SO unsightly!! Like gag me with a spoon.

If you are a tri (as opposed to bi) woman (if you are a quint, heck the better. Not big on quads).

If you know the true meaning of kemosabe per Gary Larson (It is the term of endearment that Tonto used for The Lone Ranger).

If you are looking for someone; to go dancing, to explore the town (museums, Meetups, seminars (not at seminaries), dumpster dive, corner people in dark alleys and force them to text salacious msgs to their friends, crash bat mitzvahs, try new (interzesting) places to eat, catch a show, talk about why a bigger hippocampus is better, AND plot TOTAL world domination (the first phase being cornering the cocoa market so that we can get good sustainable chocolate) etc.

I am tellin' ya I can hang with folks younger and older than me. I am good at context switching!! Sometimes I feel like a nut. Sometimes I don't.

If you don't mind that the the lipstick on my collar does not match yours. (Yes, I wear lipstick, and frequently kiss my collars passionately. Like in those French (Alcance-Lorraine region) movies).

If you want to go dutch on botox shots!

If you want to swap hapmaps or compare your method of lemmatisation to mine ! (I love being inflected).

If you think candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker :)

You believe in the wisdom of fools.

If you ever wanted Executive Producer credits for a adult movie for dogs with the following title: Salacious Sally And Her Sultry Salukies or Libidinous Libby & Her Luscious Lassies. (Good heavens, I am kidding).

If you have a winning hand of 36-24-36. I'm kidding.

If the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drums (you know the proverbial, random drum that is always beating somewhere, like along the Mohawk).

If you feel pretty & witty and gay (in the classical sense of the word and if you can sing that ditty like Adam Sandler vs Maria (from West Side Story) :] )

You want pics of me, with those ab shots in the bathroom (using the timer of course) or those poser shots in the gym or that wildly wicked (it takes an entirely new meaning in Bahston) photo with local Hooter's Girls and the knitters (from the bitch and stitch club). Go ahead I dare you. Make my day :]

I'm tooo sexy for my legs and for OKC, to post a full monty pic of mi self!! I jestus.

You thought the worst day of your life was when the Cookie Monster admitted publicly that cookies are 'sometime' food !!! Good god, I have never cried so much in my life!

If you think that the band Wham fathered the band 1 Direction. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy....

If you thought that Yanni had a great stylist and knows his hair products !

If you are a free mason (as opposed to an indentured bricklayer).

You know what a VJ is (as opposed to a DJ) and can name the shortest one !! Hint it is a she !

If you still remember Gay Lusac's Law of Combining Volumes and can apply it to a relationship.

If you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop (don't ask Mr. Owl).

Whew!!! You MADE IT !!! (Like in the book The Monster At The End of The Book). If you didn't take a pee break, now would be a good time. I can see you squirming. Go, stage left! YOUR left.