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Carlinian

28 M Toronto, Ontario, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:11pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Write Jokes.
Tell Jokes.
Play Drums.

I take my coffee black so I can quote that little girl's quote from Airplane!.
But now every barista in town thinks I'm gay for black men.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that. Unless they're girls. Because then there goes the whole "hey girl, ooo girl, ooo woo woo girl" thing.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEVTQHiAQRA
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing letters to S. C. Johnson saying stuff like, "Windex's new slogan should be 'Windex is the New Clear.' Oh and also get involved with nuclear stuff. You know, weapons, war, whatever."
[©opy®igh™ Me, 2014]
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting down to people's dumb level when they say "don't you get smart with me!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Between Mia Wallace's overdosing.
And Marcellus Wallace's getting raped.
One thing Pulp Fiction taught me is that sometimes you will just never ever want to tell your husband or wife how your day or night actually went.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The plots I always pitch to Y&R writers, in which:

1) The entire Newman family is in a barbershop quartet street gang called the Boomin’ & Doomin’ Groomin’ Newmans.

2) Victor pursues a career in welding and welding-related fields.

3) Victor pays Danny Romalotti to write a Love Unlimited parody album called "Welding In The Rain With The One I Love."

4) Nick works for Paul Williams' Investigations and changes his name to Nicholas Clueman.

5) Neil Winters changes his last name to a less white season.

6) Danny Romalotti is in a Mastodon speed metal cover band called Fastodon.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How the coldest part about killing in cold blood wouldn’t be the cold blood.
It’d be the wind chill.
Because if the blood is cold, I’m assuming you’re murdering in the winter.
If it’s the summer, then clearly you’re murdering indoors.
In a very well air-conditioned environment.
But probably not well conditioned enough to store the dead body there.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching Top Gun so I can get really good at volleyball.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNR_HofJ_Fs
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I wear Iceman's volleyball uniform around my apartment so that cool people think I'm cool.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't type AIDS like AiDs or aIdS.
With a ;) or ;P after it.

You agree that the repeated phrase in a Wallace-Vonnegut book would be And But So It Goes.

You like the idea of Heaven.
But don't believe in it.
But if you did, you'd be super jealous of Philip Seymour Hoffman.
And all the heaven-grade heroin he'd be shooting.
With Jesus.
In their heavenly and holy arms.