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Carolineallen

34 F Chicago, IL

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 34–41
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:29am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Other
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Other
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Might want kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Before I had mastered the art of training my dog, he used to get out and go for these long runs about the neighborhood. I would, naturally, run after him, calling his name, taking it personally, waving off the angry looks of the neighbors around me that made up our small little town square in Dahlonega, GA where I was teaching theatre at the military college.

He always seemed to set off a pair of dogs who spent most of the daylight hours on the porch of their owner's home. They would bark furiously at us as we passed, Linus either on the leash or off, gleefully running in front of me. I often stuck my tongue out at them. I may have flipped them off once or twice.

I did so on one particular day when Linus had brushed past me and set off running as fast as he could away from the house. The dogs were barking in their little dog voices that sounded like screaming children, so I stuck my tongue out at them.

Once I had gotten Linus under control and headed back home, I heard the screen door screech open and slam closed as I passed the porch. Then, I heard a voice grunt, "I saw what you did."

Bewildered, I turned around. "You stuck your tongue out at my dogs."

I had no idea how to respond. I just apologized, ironically, and headed back towards my home. She tagged it with, "if you would keep that mangey mutt on a leash..."

At that point, the fire started burning a little hotter. I got home and watched Linus, his tail forever wagging, and his eyes forever loving. I thought, "nobody talks about MY dog like that and gets away with it."

So I went back to her house, and I stood in her yard. When she came out to meet me, I implored her to keep her dogs from yelling at me. Implore might be a bit too polite. In any case, she stuck her tongue out at me, and I began screaming nonsense at her to give her a taste of her dogs' medicine.

"You're a retard!" she gasped with a look of pure astonishment.

"Oh sure. that's right. I'M a RETARD. Nice one! That's real p.c."

"I don't care nothin bout no p.c., YOU'RE A RETARD!" She repeated.

And then I realized, this is one of those times you just walk away. So...I walked away, laughing quietly under my breath, my heart racing with excitement.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Paying the bills and for conservatory classes at Second City by selling people slightly upscale pizzas in Logan Square. Following my dreamsssssssss.

I moved here from Atlanta. I moved to Atlanta from a small town in North Georgia, Dahlonega. I moved to Dahlonega from Memphis, TN, my home. I'm pretty southern, but in ways you might not expect.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being honest. Making people laugh. Confusing people into thinking I'm a bitch. Eating cookies. Enjoying myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty up front and outgoing. Sometimes my honesty is mistaken for abrasion. I'm ridiculous.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ask me, please. I'm sure we'd have a lot to talk about.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My dog, coffee, netflix, bathroom breaks, trees, and trustworthy people
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether or not my dog knows how much I love him.
Also, what's next?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sometimes I'm out, and sometimes I'm in. It depends on the prospects. I am fine with either. My dog's always here, and I have social skills, so there's nothing really to hold me back from doing anything.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Are you looking for someone loyal? Are you looking for someone honest? Are you looking for someone that could actually be a friend? Do it. Message me. I don't mess around.

Are you desperate? Are you bored? Are you looking for someone to save you from your own life? DON'T MESSAGE ME, PLEASE. I'm not interested.