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38 M Edinburgh, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Atheism, and very serious about it
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Finnish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist. Those are words that are fun to say. They don't apply to me, but I'm still lovely regardless.

Things I particularly enjoy include being a night-owl, reading books in bed, taking pictures of people, pets, and random animals in the wild.

I've taken profile pictures for a suspiciously large number of people on this site. If you wanted me to "do you" just shout. Photography is a passion, and portraits are my favourite thing to shoot.

Once I found myself taking part in a photo-shoot for a local massage parlour. A surreal experience; I should have known something was unusual when they started talking about their "large wardrobe of fantasy-wear", but I'm glad I didn't walk away. It has certainly lead to some interesting photographic opportunities.

You can see some of my images in the photos-tab, although I've limited myself to random animal shots in the interests of keeping things simple and anonymous.

I own a Japanese Peace Lily, but I've never killed for money.
What I’m doing with my life
I spend my time watching people, all kinds of people. As an amateur photographer I hope I have a reasonable excuse.

Edinburgh is a beautiful city, so carrying a camera around it isn't too much of a surprise, even if I'm neither a tourist nor a student. I generally spend weekends in an around Leith, where I live, and love to visit The Waters of Leith, and The Shore.

I enjoy interesting DIY challenges, although I try to avoid poking electrical things, and standing on rooftops. I've recently built a desk. Power-tools were involved. Also lasers. Working with my hands feels a lot more real than messing about on a computer.
I’m really good at
I tend to be one of those "warm" people who are rarely cold, so if you make me shiver you're doing well. Apart from those rare moments I'm very useful at heating rooms.

Happily I don't complain about people warming their feet on me, because I am particularly hot in bed, even though I prefer sleeping with the windows open even during winter.
The first things people usually notice about me
Here you'll probably notice my monochrome images. In real life I have more colour, more dimensions, and a better smell.

In real life I reply more frequently too. But that's because people don't walk up to me in the street and say "Hey u r hott! Come bruise me?!! lolasaurus", or accuse me of being a psychopath.

More than once people have asked me about my (fading) Yorkshire accent. I do enjoy hearing proper Northern accents, from random tourists.

"Girls with tiny writing are so perfectly exciting"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

My tastes in films vary, from the classic films such as Brief Encounter, My Fair Lady, Les Liaisons dangereuses, The Lost Boys, The breakfast club, The Princess Bride, Leon, The Fifth Element, Groundhog Day and Sherlock Holmes, to more modern things like 10 things I hate about you, Cruel Intentions, V for Vendetta, The disappearance of Alice Creed, 300, Battle Royale, and Let the right one in. (The book had interesting gender issues, the movie less so, but it was very pretty).

TV: Alias. Blackadder, QI, Teachers, Family Guy, Hex, Spaced, Buffy, Dead Like Me, Criminal Minds, Life On Mars, Porridge, Teachers, This Life, Blood Ties, Rome, Lewis, Peep Show, Stargate SG-1 - but not the rest, Yes Minister + Yes Prime Minister (sadly the more I watch these the more I believe them to be documentaries), and The Wire, rightfully in a league of its own.

David Attenborough is fantastic, but that is obvious, huh?

A room without books is like a body without a soul. I have the entire Terry Pratchett collection and many similar comedy authors such as Tom Holt, and Jasper Fforde. I'm also a fan of Tolkien, Steven Brust, Frank Herbert, and Douglas Adams.

Additionally I enjoy many of "the classics", such as Agatha Christie, Dickens, H.G. Wells, Margaret Atwood, Dumas, and Defoe. I loved reading The Picture of Dorian Gray - but the black&white film gave me nightmares as a child.

When it comes to books Dune, LotR and The Count of Monte Cristo are rightfully in a class of their own.

My musical tastes vary, but I'm a basically a fan of the 80s: Depeche Mode, Nirvana, Prince, and NIN. Hendrix, Johnny Cash, Queen, The Prodigy, Placebo, Sisters of Mercy, Madonna, are also great.

We'll skip food, except to say olives are good, garlic is great, and I'll eat anything except for fish/sea-food and coconut.

I am often amusing with chopsticks, but that isn't deliberate. (Ask me about the time I worked in Tokyo..)

Finally despite the promotion of all things healthy you'll pry real butter from my cold, dead, hands.
The six things I could never do without
1. Good drinks: Turkish Coffee, Whisky, Ale, & etc.

2. A working camera (Canon for me, choose what you like, I'm not biased).

3. Physical contact.

4. People, who struggle just enough to make it interesting.

5. Forks that have four tines.

Three-tined forks are for crazy people, are you crazy? If you're crazy I can slap you, right? Then we'll both be happy.

Plus an extra thing that is identical to yours , which will persuade you to meet me. (Unless you said something vapid such as "oxygen" in which case your life is already wasted. I'll give you a pass if you said 'cake' because .. well .. we can have cake!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to capture the vibrancy and uniqueness of individuals in portrait-form.

Tongues. Fingers. Teeth. Necks. Jugulars. Jack the Ripper. Smiles. Lighting. Dinosaurs. Body language. Smells. Accents. Adventures. Hands. Hair. Snuggles. Teasing. Etymology. Dirty Laughs. Cobbled pavements. Woolly Jumpers. Herschel Krustofski. Ropes. Chains. Tension. Puns. Collar bones. Bruises. Photography.

Hands on throats. Teeth on shoulders. Fingernails on skin. Bondage.

Fists in hair.

The call of the void. Passion. Semantics.



Killing you.


Whether people write boring profiles because they have better things to do in real life, or because they are boring?

Touching M.C. Hammer.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wondering how many people are dead on the inside...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a left-handed person, but I'm only sinister in jest, although I do own an authentic school desk, and cane, and have a tendency to tie cute people up and "play" with them. The marks are half the fun.

I abhor the phrases "my better half" & "my other half", even more so now that I'm married.

I frequently use words such as lure, victim, succumb and offer candy to people who pose for me ... Stealing souls is a serious business.

Reasons why I am not a vegetarian include pastrami, and bacon.

Reasons why I'm not a vegan include cheese, cheese, and more cheese.

Sometimes I click on profiles because I don't recognize the place-names, and wonder how far away they are. More than once I've used wikipedia to lookup the details of towns, villages, and cities both here in the UK and abroad.

I am amused by people who think watching Doctor Who makes them a geek.

I'd probably hurt you, and make you cry.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
If you're interested in meeting somebody new, and bonus points if you will let me take pictures of you. Seeing my pictures on profiles makes me happy, and shooting people is a passion.

You think the 80s was the best decade.

You don't think I'm here to pimp -kersa-, even though I have done so. She is surprisingly affordable, and free to cute girls..

If you view my profile a million times I will not take that as a hint; if you want to talk to me then .. do so.

Bonus points for Finnish people, as I struggle to learn the language.

Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, you read my profile, prepare to reply!