Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update: I have semi-recently moved to Brooklyn (from Jersey,
not exactly another country), and am up for local-ish
drinking/hiking/outdoor buddies, or whatever it is people who have
lived in New York for a long time are looking down their noses at
me for living in New York and not having done. Romantic
entanglement is a plus but not necessarily necessary.
I will admit, I am a bit of a geek (hmm, judging by my
"Personality" tab, that may be an understatement). I like to read,
play video games, and earn my living as an engineer. I don't
regularly follow any sports, although I have fun attending games,
or possibly only tailgating them... It's hard to remember. Dancing
makes me envy paraplegics. If you only love going to clubs where
the music is too loud to talk, it is possible you don't have much
I like living near the city for the convenience of it all, but
sometimes I feel the need to get away from the noise for a few
days. I've been skydiving, scuba diving, and whitewater rafting, so
if that kind of thing appeals to you that's a plus. I enjoy
traveling, but who doesn't? I also eat food.
I appreciate art well enough but find it hard to take it especially
seriously. Maybe I just haven't seen the right kind because lots of
people seem to think it's just great. I think perhaps I am more
impressed by the ingenuity of human technology and leave beauty and
awe to nature. Please feel free to try to change my mind on
I am extremely impressed by how much I dislike the people OK Cupid
has rated as an enemy. At the very least it filters out the people
who can't spell (or more importantly, can't even be bothered to
try; you're on a computer with a dictionary mere clicks away, for
god's sake). I'm not really looking for someone who describes
themself as "bubbly" or who is searching for their one and only
soul mate (such a person is terrible at math). I appreciate a
healthy dose of cynicism, as long as you're not morose about it.
Mostly I am into good conversation over a couple of beers.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work hard. Die young. Win valuable prizes!!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Well, fairly good at, pool and darts. And Rock Band, for all you
girls looking for a musician. I enjoy arguing, and to people who
say you shouldn't talk religion or politics: you are boring. I'm
good with all things technical, which I like to apply to solving
problems to make my life and the lives of those around me more
convenient. One day I will have a single button that does
everything. Oh and I can fix things, usually barely getting
electrocuted at all.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a surprisingly large number of dinosaur themed shirts for
someone in their 30s. So that is pretty noticeable. It is what I
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I enjoy long, epic series of novels like George R.R. Martin's A
Song of Fire and Ice, and Tad Williams' Otherland. Otherwise I read
mostly books about science, evolution, psychology, and language.
Unfortunately these days it's also a lot of television standards
documents for work.
I always hate reading long lists of titles in this section. I'm
trying to make my way through the IMDB top 250 list so I can be
more pretentious at parties. In general the best movies I've seen
don't hold a candle to the best books I've ever read. Maybe two
hours is often not enough time to tell an epic story.
Futurama might very well be my favorite thing that has ever been on
television, but I enjoy Archer, The Boondocks, American Dad. Non
cartoons: Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 30 Rock, Six Feet Under,
The Walking Dead, Mythbusters, and most shows on the Science or
Discovery channels except for factory assembly line shows about
toilets being made.
I like to have a long running television series that's in a late
season in the queue for anytime TV watching. Previous: Breaking
Bad. Currently: Dr. Who.
Sometimes I enjoy a "so bad it's good" movie more than a great
movie. If you don't know what I'm talking about I encourage you to
rent "The Room" (more likely, illegally download it).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My iPod to stave off potential moments of actual
I might have been able to live without the Internet before I knew
about it, but it's far too late for that.
Other stuff, probably. I don't need possessions, maaaan.*
*this is a lie
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Mostly delusions of grandeur. And ostrich jousting. Did you know
you can ride an ostrich at farms in Africa? It is on my list. They
probably won't let me joust though.
It is inconvenient that life is too short to know everything.
Sometimes it bothers me that humanity will eventually travel to the
distant stars, and I will be long dead, but then I think about how
cool airplanes would be to someone who lived 500 years ago and I'm
comforted by the fact that future people won't appreciate space
I vehemently disagree with people who believe analog is better than
digital within the limits of human perception (based on, you know,
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I guess this is where I'm supposed to impress you with how exciting
my life is. Some of the profiles I read make it sound like every
Friday night they are hang gliding in the Adirondacks with one hand
and writing the next great American novella with the other. I've
done cool stuff, I plan to do more cool stuff, but a lot of life is
rather routine and I'm ok with that.
I would like to go to more science lectures. It would be ideal if
alcohol is served at such an event.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My Googling may be getting out of hand; the other day I Googled
"how to eat tamales" on my phone before deciding whether or not to
try to bite into the corn husk.
I think I will be able to pinpoint my transition to adulthood as
the day I am no longer tempted to wear a triangle folded napkin in
a restaurant as a hat.
I don't love bacon as much as the Internet thinks I should.
I unapologetically use "literally" to mean "figuratively".
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Someone who is not afraid to be silly occasionally is a must. It's
easy to have fun on a tropical vacation, but if we can have a great
time screwing around while going grocery shopping or running
errands, that seems to be a really good sign of long-term
After reading lots and lots of profiles, a couple of
- You're probably not as hard to summarize as you think. Having a
little of two qualities that are somewhat contradictory does not
make you a "paradox". You are unique and special, just like
everybody else. At least give it a try, otherwise I summarize you
as not being able to write a decent summary.
- "What I'm doing with my life: living it." I am working with the
assumption that you're not a corpse. That's a completely different
- Bragging about not owning a TV is like being proud of never
having a drink because some people are alcoholics. I do not see
this as a positive.
- Do people really notice other people's smiles as much as this
site would indicate? I feel like if someone has said that that's
the first thing they notice about you, you just haven't caught them
staring yet. (same for "eyes", unless you're an albino)
- Are you really a "polymath" if you're not good at one thing in
particular? Do you actually get physically turned on by
intelligence because you're a "sapiosexual" or do you just (very
reasonably) enjoy the company of people who aren't dunces?
- Apparently, not one person on OK Cupid takes themselves too
Computers can make mistakes from time to time*, so not having a
super high match percentage isn't an automatic
disqualification, but if we're a 50% match, it's probably a good
idea to include words in your message that indicate that you've
actually read (some of) my profile and reasons why we may yet get
along despite not having a ton in common. On the other hand, 50%
matches probably haven't read this far and will just send a message
saying, "Hi, how was your weekend?" anyway.
Using the phrase "work hard, play hard" is an automatic
Sorry for the rant**. If you've gotten this far (or if you cheated
and skipped to the bottom) feel free send me a message. What's the
worst that can happen? (spoiler: I will not reply)
*Not really, but with the human input factor, garbage in, garbage
out... Shame on you for not answering a thousand questions.
Also: age range is more of a Gaussian than a box function
**Not even a little bit sorry.
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