I'm a nature lover but to my shame once got in a fight with a huge Italian swan. Sorry, shameful business all round...

I like places with live music or somewhere you can enjoy a real conversation, or a stupid one, noisy trendy bars and clubs don't do it for me at all. Pubs, restaurants, galleries, museums, parks... London's full of interesting things but sharing them is the fun part I think. I do love the countryside too, I grew up on a farm and I've always had an affection for it.

I train in Ju Jitsu and like to kickbox at the gym but in life I actually abhor violence, am not an aggressive type at all and have never been in fight (just wanted to clarify that, some people don't seem to understand that you can love martial arts for the skill, sport and competition and not actually be a violent thug). I'm active and work out a few times a week but enjoy my food far to much to ever not be a little soft around the middle... but I'm OK with that.

I tend to have a pretty silly/dark sense of humour and can often be found chuckling to myself over something terrible or stupid. I was reduced to tears with a friend in a pub recently over something (imaginary) involving a pig, candles and a box of tissues. I know it's only a joke of course but people can't see in my head apparently, so have to bite my tongue a fair bit. Stupid people. (Not you of course. I'm sure you're smart, charming, witty, beautiful and erudite... I mean those other stupid people, you know the ones.)

I should be doing something with my life?

Cooking, playing with children, monkey impressions, tricking people into thinking I'm a grown-up and stopping myself just short of saying something awful when I think it's funny (most of the time).

No one ever believes I'm as old as I am, but that's not something they'd notice I suppose.

Probably the fact that I'm carrying a garden gate wrapped in Christmas tinsel and barbed wire. I use it to fight off the evil pixie ninjas (that only I can see) who are trying to steal the magical golden otter I have hidden in my...... oh dear, I seem to have let a bit of my real personality out by accident. Dagnammit.

Actually, it's probably the great big tattoo that covers my right arm.

Books - Neil Gaiman, Max Brooks, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Hunter S Thompson, Cormac McCarthy, Anne Rice (although she's rubbish now), Brett Easton Ellis. Any and all suggestions welcome and encouraged. Just got Rant by Chuck Palahniuk from the library, never got around to reading anything of his before so looking forward to it.

Films - I'm a member at the Prince Charles Cinema at Leicester Square and like to go along there pretty often, nice little indie cinema and they have interesting stuff on. I can enjoy any genres of film but have a childish weakness for crap, messy horrors. All time favourites, Donnie Darko, Ghostbusters, Goodfellas, Anchorman, Casablanca. Saw Moon last night. Wow, just wow. See it.

Music - Lots. Grew up a metal kid and tastes have diverged a lot but I still think R 'n' B means rhythm and blues not the soulless sexual predators in the charts. Punk, rock, metal, indie, country, blues & folk. All time favourites would be Rancid, Dropkick Murphys, Billy Bragg, Coheed & Cambria, Wildhearts, Tom Waits, Misfits, Ramones, Nick Cave, Johnny Cash.

Food - Sushi (Hi Sushi in Camden is awesome). Mexican (Desperadoes on Upper Street, great cocktails). The Pancake Bakery in Amsterdam. Pescatarian so I eat fish but not red meat, chicken etc, but I don't mind if you do.

Coffee.... gotta have coffee, interwebs, ipod, diary (always double book without it), library card, physical contact and my massive telly (which I rarely, if ever, watch actual TV programs on).

The nature of infinity, what to have for dinner... and monkeys... mostly monkeys in fact.

At a little gig or pub somewhere or at home, avoiding the braying crowds of drunken chavs and watching martial arts or a film, enjoying a single malt or cooking something fantastic.

Sometimes at the gym too. I like going on Friday's as it's quiet... is that sad?

I look at cute animal pictures on icanhascheezburger.com every day and allow myself an internal "awwwww".

Also that my photos are from last year (apart from the tattoo one, that's today) but I think I look pretty much the same, only my hair's longer.

...you know what a kimura is, we should talk NOW! But that's unlikely so if you like bad jokes, good people and am not just going to send me filthy IMs... (honestly, you girls!).