44 Arlington, VA
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My self-summary
Divorced, decidedly liberal epicurean dad, creative professional. Ironic, irreverent. Can't see "likes," but if you shoot me a brief overture I'll probably reply.

Seeking? Authenticity and significance in a wise, fit, salty, incorrigible, insatiable b’dASS BFF; making some wonderful friends along the way.

Qualities: "Road-less-travelled," "Unconventional," "Generalist."

Everything about me has always been a little “outside the box.” Mixed genetic pools: far east, pacific, mediterranean.

Intellectually curious, emotionally generous. Sweetly irascible. Expressive, playful, not afraid to be ridiculous, but also kind of a serious guy.

Love the hearth as the center of the home with cooking and music and wine going on. Friends dropping in. (Wanna tune up your mandolin?)

There are lots of fun things to be explored, and at this point in my life I’m more inclined to letting connections reveal themselves, as opposed to looking at you as a spreadsheet of assets and liabilities.

Highly desirous of finding a mate, but I’m cool making friends, friends with benefits, etc. Not into one-offs, workaholics, careless drivers, nihilistic interactions ... I locate on the non-monogamous end of the spectrum - but simply because I consider strict exclusivity a form of warpage. I don't think either of us would want an "open relationship" where we're out regularly seeking; but neither would we deny one another the joy of that extramarital connection when it occurs. It's really kind of a cruel denial, isn't it? And certainly a poor monopolistic metric of intimacy and trust.

Ridiculous good times? Yay! ... but with a well trained sense for truth, beauty, justice.

Misc: I'm from Flint MI, (Yeah - You have no idea. And now with the latest? More evidence of a functionally evil GOP.) Spent a decade in Chicago for grad work and career. In Arlington since 1999. Anti-theist, lapsed Unitarian.

Just a random thought. Anna Karenina. Amazing. Pity it took so long to get to it.

I love frivolity but hate frivolous people.

When we step outside of our privileged DC bubbles, I frankly find life in the US to be pretty sad, degrading, horrifying. Attacks on planned parenthood, police murder rates, the gun nuts, the sovereign citizen militia guys, the Chamber of Commerce, FOXNews, the GOP, etc.

(Haha ... I don't even think my standards are that high - I watch Family Guy and Arrested Development with my teen! - but Man, does America suck a really big one!)

I know I shouldn't be such a "Debbie Downer" here (love that expression); I'm just doing my best to fend off any Pollyannas. Conservatives. Centrists. You "centrists" ... It may seem convenient and politic ... But. 🙄.

Back! Back! I say!


Inclinations: books, ideas, culture, non fiction, jazz and rocknroll and folk and blues. Visual arts. Polymorphous perversity.

Activities we might consider doing together: theatre, music, dance at Glen Echo, improv/stand-up classes, phone bank for Bernie Sanders, reading out loud to one another, wine tastings, Phillips Collection … really, myriad cultural things.

Keywords: Atheist, GGG, Buddhish, esthetics, “Varieties of religious experience," beginner's mind, queer, sapiosexual, kink.

Anyway. Consider reading Gore Vidal's "Inventing a Nation," if you consider yourself a real patriot.
What I’m doing with my life
Making smoochy faces at you from across the party while you knit your brows at the conversation you're not really sure you're in.

We make certain the other's having a nice time. Randomly show up with a fresh drink or napkin of snacks, drop a nuzzle, a knowing smile. Toodle off, or not. Just a dream.

Bohemian daddy on the fringes of bucolic bureaucratic Arlington, Photographer doing both mercenary and creative things.

Being a dedicated dad to a 14 year old babe who sings and writes and who I'm sure will destroy organic chemistry before I've had a chance to really say anything to her. We sing Shins songs together. Check us out on the waterfront in Old Town sometime!

Baking, singing, painting, hiking and biking on the W&OD. She got a cool Ibanez this year. I got a new Strat. But drums are my main instrument.

Painting, printing big photos, yoga, biking, running, scrabble are also in the mix. Veggie gardening.
I’m really good at
Arm chair hermeneutics.

Subverting the Halloween-Confectionary-Industrial-Complex by handing out non candy things ... baby bell peppers, or little scripts of spooky jokes. Having friends from the local needle exchange jump out of the bushes ... That would be a pretty spooky one, huh?! I would never do that. Seems kinda un PC huh? Tee hee.

Being both gentle and imperious.

Child-like wonder

Whistling. Repertoire ranges from Vivaldi to Talking Heads to Black Eyed Peas. Book me now ...





But seriously ...
* Listening.
* Thinking outside the box.
* Combining the rational/analytic with the intuitive.
* Friendship. I know people, but I don't do a lot of superficial. I also came to the area later in life, so I find I have fewer solid connections. Introvert turned extrovert "caretaker" ...
I make special efforts these days (with male and female friends) in a way I perhaps wouldn't have in the past.

Awesome in the kitchen, as with power tools, and back rubs. I guess these are online dating cliches.
The first things people usually notice about me
I glower a little when I'm listening or focussing on something. Apparently this imparts a somewhat forbidding presence. But people realize after speaking with me how sweet and awesome I am.

I'm deliberate with words.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: everything. but at home, I'm Vaguely paleo these days. (Are root veggies paleo?) whatever. Love roasted root veggies. I still eat dairy. Once or twice a year I get a perverted notion to eat package TV dinner or pot pie which invariably makes me ill. Farmed fish? Never. And who hasnt always known tilapia is crap? Not carp. Crap.

Music: Super eclectic. From indie to great Jazz classics. Miles, British invasion, roots RnB. Really love the Shins/James Mercer

TV: I refuse to pay comcast etc so I do roku . Jenji Kohan is a great prophet.

Film: Either of the Andersons, Tarantino, Linklater, I like going to Washington Film Institute things.

Books: Light but smart blow-your-head-off fiction? Hard to beat Tom Robbins. Palahniuk, (sp?) The Birth of Tragedy, Hitchens, Bourdain, Reichl, Guns Germs and Steel, Candide, Cloud Atlas, Auster, lots of nonfiction - history, philosophy, criticism. Anne Carson's "Autobiography of Red," and Yourcenar's "Memoirs of Hadrian"

New York Review of Books
The Atlantic online
PhotoDistrict News

This American Life (Used to play basketball with Alex and Nancy, and some other acquaintances in Wicker Park.) Hadn't had any contact in years when I was on the Whitehurst and heard Nancy reporting from a HumVee in Iraq. Uughh. Wept.

Cohen's "Hallelujah" is one of the most sly and beautiful testaments to the continuity of art and faith ever.

Weather Report's Heavy Weather album (so famous for the ubiquitous "Birdland") is a great recording. Listen to the lyricism in Zawinul's solos on "A Remark You Made."

Art: Vermeer, Morandi, Matisse, DeKooning, Richter, Diebenkorn
The six things I could never do without
Sloth, envy, gluttony, lust, pride, wrath ...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why is that when I click on a link to a Donna Tartt article, I get a big Neiman Marcus pop-up?

Beginner's mind. Oh. Nothing.

How Sanders can win.

Why OkC can't develop a filter that recognizes the crappy Russian-English syntax that gives away all the scammer profiles?

"Pride that dines on vanity sups on contempt." - Ben Franklin

Guess it's a government thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing music with friends, out for a movie; watching Dr. Who and baking bread and pies with my darling young one.

I'd like to go dancing more.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My grandiosity. My misanthropy.

I want a kinky affectionate woman who's into occasionally sharing one another with fun friends; who loves our energy and can talk about anything.

I guess one terrific thing about online dating is that one can be straightforward about objectives, interests, and desires.

A little tougher for women in the sex department; female forthrightness in the realm of the sex-positive is bound to be rewarded with uncharitable piggy behavior.

So despite the fact that it's so much nicer learning intimate stuff face to face, I figure it ... um ... chivalrous(?) to be up front about my stuff.
You should message me if
Your inner Sarah Silverman might enjoy hanging with my inner Lewis Black (Insert name of preferred apoplectic jokester here.)

Saying stuff like: "Yes Sir ..." makes your heart beat a little faster.
You think you're worthy of plenty of attention and consideration, and want an earnest, adventurous, side-kick-playmate-partner for hanging out and weighing potentials.

Playing in the kitchen together warms the cockles of your Creuset.

For such an even-keeled grrl you really are pretty jazzy. Few would know how adventurous you are, and even fewer would realize that Tracy and Mark whom we just met at that party, are following, back to our place.

You get the Dionysian/Apollonian thing.