I moved here from LA, and it's starting to grow on me. Who cares. I know. right. Shit forgot to captitalize. this was a terrible Idea. Why did I captitalize that . spaces. sshit.
Okay, new paragraph. Time flies when you're forcing yourself to follow arbitrary time constraints. It, from the last paragraph, is San Francisco. there are many things shit.... capital... there are many things fusalkfj fufkc. im never gonna make it. Now no one will read this and like me. I know thi sto be true.
I don't waant to die alonw . maistakes were made.
Now to fall back upon a pre-written summary.
GREETINGS! I've recently moved to San Francisco! Specifically, I've moved to the Upper Haight, and gotten "up" on the "haps" (happenings) as I've "observed" a few of the locals and s"een just how peo"ple blow off a "little steam" in my neighb"o"rhood.
Activities such as public urination, throwing bottles at cars, and wildly swinging around a rusty screwdriver are all the rage up here. Perhaps you fancy a simple scream at God around 3am? Well, you're in luck. On "The Haight," these activities are available at all hours. At the moment I've been partial to a game of my own creation, that I've dubbed "Animal Shit or Human Shit?" The rules are easy to learn and it makes that 25 minute walk from where I found parking, feel just like a 23 minute walk from where I found parking.
Maybe you're saying to yourself, "Good sir, that all sounds wonderful, and I assume you've already made enough friends to fill two lifetimes. Is there any room left for me? And does that room have cable, more specifically, HBO?"
In a word, "Yes." In more than one word, "Heck, yes." Come on down! You'll have no problems feeling welcome with my new "besties" "Jelly Licker" Joe (He once ate an entire box of discarded Smuckers restaurant sized jelly packets!) and "Bindle Cheese" Pete (Don't ask!). They love giving people hugs and making them feel right at home, which for them, is the dumpster area of the local Whole Foods (Organic!), or the front stoop of my apartment (Convenient!). In fact, the only thing that may make you feel uncomfortable is just how short your fingernails seem around these guys.
So, if you live in San Francisco, and actually enjoy living in San Francisco, I'd love to chat over some coffee and have you convince me not to move to Oakland or as it seems to me, Echo Park North. Just message me on here or leave a marking in the shape of an eye with an arrow next to it on the dumpster next to the Whole Foods.