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23 M Lakewood, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–28
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:53pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Other (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hay there horse people.

My name is Stephen and I am the wondrous result of parental coitus. (Or perhaps it is wondrous parental coitus that I am the result of, though, I do hope to never have that answer.) Such is my beginning as is the beginning of everyone and everything, a beginning with one big bang.

If I had to summarize myself into as few words as possible I would say that I am a. In more words, but still at a basic level, I am a student of continual improvement and critical thinking. To me, life is about fulfilling one's self-interest while trying not to be the villain of other's stories.

I believe that through the power of the internet, patience and the word fuck, anything is possible.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a professional online dater.

Buy me dinner or drinks sometime and I'll explain how I can afford this lifestyle.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- I enjoy making analogies
(I hope you aren't anal about analogies)

- I had played the trumpet since 5th grade and for a little while in college and I like to think that I was pretty good, not to toot my own horn. A skilled gay trumpeter friend of mine, Colonel Hingus, once called me a "prodigy" when referring to my apparently fast tonguing skills, which among other uses, is very handy in getting to the center of a tootsie pop quickly

- All the perplexingly possible possibly pedantic pun possibilities, which is why I am widely considered by myself to be something of a cunning linguist

- Accidentally cutting myself on serrated can lids, it's uncanny

- One particularly bad cut was so funny that I had myself in stitches
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
that I look like I really care about the plight of the pandas, sorry if that feels like pandaring. (jk, I don't fucking care about the pandas)((if only they fucking did, maybe they would fucking live))
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Let's discover our mutual interests through my lucky number sevens.

Books: God is Not Great, Freakonomics, The Intelligence Paradox, Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, The Power of Habit, The Evolution of Desire, Guns of the South...(reddit)

Movies: Django Unchained, The Fog of War, Perks of Being a Wall Flower, Fight Club, Silenced(in Korean but amazing), Good Will Hunting, Donnie Darko

Shows: Sherlock(Go watch it, it is awesome and you are most welcome), Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, South Park, House of Cards, Breaking Bad, The IT Crowd

(and GoT, I mean, come on! Dragons! GD'it!)

-- In my humble opinion, the best comedians provide important and controversial social commentary through the most appreciable medium of all, humor.

George Carlin: X
Jim Jefferies: X
KT Tatara: X
Bill Hicks: X
David Cross: X
Doug Stanhope: X
Bo Burnham: X

Music: I listen to what sounds good, which mainly depends on my mood. I'm the opposite of a music snob so don't *fret* and let's just enjoy our tunes.

Ludovico Einaudi - Divenire X
Kiesza - Hideaway X
The Clash - Train in Vain X
Rob Bailey and The Hustle Standard - Hungry X (amazing workout song)
The Lonely Island - I Just Had Sex X
Death From Above 1979 - You're a woman, I'm a machine

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean X

Good, nay, great to know!:

How to Change a Habit X
Why do we kiss? X
Why do we wear clothes? X
Why are things cute? X
The Meaning of Life X
Why do we laugh? X
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- freeeeedooommmm!!! (Braveheart, not patriotism)
- unjudgemental and unemotional discussion of ideas
- recognizing my own errors and improving
- motivating & emotive music
- doing jaw-dropping things with my face
- women jaw-droppingly more considerate than me
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The necessary but terribly unfortunate plight of shoes. They hold us up, but all we ever do is put them down and walk all over them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Passionately" attempting to maintain my 7 billion way tie for least number of world records held consecutively during one lifetime.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You wanna get mugged