-The Cure, Doing the Unstuck
And now for sentences that start with "I" or "I'm"...
I'm hard work and I'm told I'm worth it.
I'm not looking for conventional relationships. I'm looking for friends, co-pilots, partners in crime and filthy, filthy assistants. If you want no trouble I am not for you.
I'm well spoken. I'm loyal. I will bring flowers or possibly some form of goat. I hold doors open for everyone. I swear ALL the time. I don't walk on by.
I cook stews, steaks, roasts and other meat-based loveliness. I mix cocktails. I give professional-grade massages for no cost other than you let me at your back.
I play soldier in fields and abandoned psychiatric wards. I do this with other people (not exclusively male) who otherwise appear to be adults. I have a pile of replica guns. I know Krav Maga (a bit). I'm a lefty liberal. My collection of combat gear will amaze you. I volunteer for beer festivals. I raise as much money for charity as I can each year.
I cycle a lot. I smoke too much, I drink too much. I bring the bright spark to the parties when I don't sit in the corner. I spaz out if you can convince me to dance. I cannot sing, I do anyway.
I wear glasses and like them. I have long hair. I often grow odd facial hair configurations. I'm frequently seen in black. I own PVC, velvet and leather clothing. I can actually blend in when I want to. I don't often want to.
When I speak to you I will look you in the eye. I *will* be intense and at the slightest provocation I will describe my hopes and dreams in detail. I will want to hear yours.
I work. I'm a IT support person by trade. I can fix your laptop, I might if you ask nicely. In another life I ran a board games, rolplaying, fireworks and circus equipment shop. It's the worst I've ever been paid but the memories are golden and the new years parties explosive. In yet another life I saw people at thier worst and did my best to help them.
If we get to know each other for any length of time I will certainly say or do something unintentionally offensive that will make you upset or angry, if you forgive me you've a friend for life.
Your mother will love me. I'll fail to meet your expectations. I will attempt to fulfil your random dreams. Occasionally I will get it right.
Somewhere in my inbox there are the words "Welcome home, Commander"
According to my friends, I bring love and chaos, I "don't need luck just a good blaster", I make parties more interesting simply by being there with alcohol and when you find yourself in need, I'll always have your back.
Make yourself known. We're going to have a great time.