My name is Brendan, and I think we should date the shit out of each other. I am a 25 year old game designer who went to school in Texas, and is ready to go full retard into the Arizona dating scene. Not to toot my own horn (even though I'm going to toot the everliving fuck out of it) but I'm the guy you want to be dating.
A little bit about me. I'm kind, funny, and totally not a creeper. If you were all like "where my creepers at?", I wouldn't be "at". Not my style. You like fun things? Shit yeah, I love doing fun things. Every weekend I try to pack the fuck out of my schedule with fun things to do. Work hard, and play harder. What's that? You put down on your profile that you like to laugh? I fucking love laughing. If laughter was a drug I would be putting a syringe of that shit right into my jugular everyday not and give a single fuck.
What's that? You don't think I respect woman because I opened this summary with "hola bitches"? Fuck that noise! I love the fuck out of women. I work for a charity and go to Africa for the past four summers and teach girls how to read and shit so they can get some mother fucking jobs. I doubt you know any other guy who has done that shit!
A guy that will treat you right? Done. Birthdays? On that shit. Flowers? Already in a vase on your kitchen table. Listening to your problems? You might as well call me Man-Oprah, cuz I'm right there sympathetically nodding with you, girl.
"But I'm not a white chick" you say? That's cool! It's all good over here! Don't really give a fuck what ethnic group you roll with, all options are on the table (including you white chicks). If I had things my way I would try to spit game at the UN, but instead I'm here trying to win you over because I care. About you. In particular. What's that? We feel uncomfortable because the topic of race came up. Don't worry. I never talk about that shit in real life unless a very funny opportunity presents itself! But don't worry it's funny racism, not mean racsim. Shit. Don't think that qualifying statement helped.
One night in Tokoyo I blacked out and woke up naked in a plastic tube with a cowboy hat, a wallet, and camera. That doesn't have to do with anything, I just wanted to put that down on the table to let you know that I have nothing to hide.
I also saw an elephant use its trunk to hit my buddy in the nuts. I bitched the fuck out of that elephant. Because I defend the people I care about. If we hit it off, I would probably fight an elephant for you, provided that I was armed with something bigger than a jar of peanut butter.
Think we should date? Hit me up!
Let's date the fuck out of each other.