The other night, I was kind of in the zone. I had just ripped a rare record I got from this hilarious street vendor on Avenue B. She had no idea how valuable it was, and was kind of hot in a "40 year old you fantasize about when you're 14 and fingering is still a big deal" kind of way...

Just as I started laying a bassline down, my friend called, asking if I could curate the beverage selection for a dinner he was throwing. I told him never to use the word "curate" ever again, and that I'd think about it.

In my early years, I pictured life being a whole lot like the the Goonies. You know: getting into crazy adventures, making out with Andy Carmichael and TOTALLY saving the day.

Things didn't quite work out, so I've focused on international travel, mystery, cashmere hoodies and hanging with my pet woodchuck, Woodchuck Norris instead.

Feel free e-stalk me by google-image searching the 5th pic in my photos. This way, you get to know what I do for a living while simultaneously passing the "you spend too much time on the internet" test with flying colors!

Making music that sounds like an 80's movie where everything works out in the end.

Not taking this seriously. Expect for that last statement: it's true.

Late one night, this girl looked me up and down and (I swear I'm not making this up) said: "You look....... like this song!" Since then, I imagine the first thing people think when they see me is: "Dude looks like an instrumental track playing at a shady underground party in Montreal circa 2005."

how I would beat you at an onomatopoeia contest.

I have a lot of Canadian friends.

I tend to like old souls, late bloomers and more mature personalities. A girl who can read between the lines.

YOU should like born and raised New Yorkers who are fluent in French, duel citizens, 90's rap enthusiasts, 80's EVERYTHING, and undisputed 1995 World Pog Champions.

If you think Big Bang Theory is funny and/or that Taylor Swift is the voice of our generation, we're not going to get along. Call it a generation gap.

Also, you need to drink. I'm not talking about 7 shots on a Wednesday but this isn't going to work if you're just there sipping virgin pina coladas talking about how Janet from work is suuuuuuuuch a bitch.

She totally is, btw.