I'm rich, funny, tall, muscular, handsome, sensitive, a connoisseur of fine wine, and I'm a great cook. I never finish first, and I am perfectly happy with only cuddling. I also hold the fastest time ever for climbing Mt. Everest, and I regularly attend dinner events at the houses of European royalty. Bill Gates and the President once had a staring contest for the rights to being number 1 on my speed dial. Bill Gates won, but I think he cheated.
I swear this is all true. Nobody lies on the internet... ;)