So how does this work? I just type some stuff about myself, and a flood of messages from attractive women hits my inbox? Sounds easy enough.

I'm rich, funny, tall, muscular, handsome, sensitive, a connoisseur of fine wine, and I'm a great cook. I never finish first, and I am perfectly happy with only cuddling. I also hold the fastest time ever for climbing Mt. Everest, and I regularly attend dinner events at the houses of European royalty. Bill Gates and the President once had a staring contest for the rights to being number 1 on my speed dial. Bill Gates won, but I think he cheated.

I swear this is all true. Nobody lies on the internet... ;)

I'm currently going to school for Mechanical Engineering and Physics. College is fun, but I'm ready to move on. Not really sure what the plan is after graduation.

I wish I could say "coming up with answers for dating site profiles," but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Anyway, I seem to do pretty well at finding my way around if I get lost, fishing, finding the snooze button without even waking up first, juggling, anything related to math, and making homemade soup. For real, my vegetable, beef and barley soup will blow your mind.

I feel like this is just some sort of trap to get people to say what features they like about themselves, but I'm not going to play into your trap, and I'm going to go with the literal answer: that I'm a human male.

Books: Ishmael, Hatchet, The Road, and I'll admit that I really liked the Harry Potter books.

Movies: Fight Club, Drive, Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber, Pulp Fiction, 300, Law Abiding Citizen, and Braveheart.

Shows: Don't want much tv, but I really like Dexter and How I Met Your Mother.

Music: I listen to a very, very wide (and seemingly strange) variety, but my favorites are country and rap, oddly enough. I also really like hair metal if I'm in the right mood.

Food: Seafood, buffalo wings, raviolis (real ones, not canned), avacados, mushrooms, pears, and of course, a nice, juicy steak.

1.) Laughing
2.) Contacts. My eyes are awful
3.) A nearby body of water
4.) Exercise
5.) Chipotle
6.) Lame one-liners

-Where (if at all) I should go to grad school
-Which state (or even country) I should move to if I don't go to grad school
-What I should actually be doing at that moment
-Laying out a plan for my next bank heist

Out with friends, working, fishing, or playing with my pet velociraptor.

I cry everytime I watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZIQUb-d4GQ

Honestly, I'm getting so many messages I can barely keep up. Ladies, please, there's only one of me.