What part of the words "I'm straight" do you not understand?
Sincerely not yours,
The straight guy you keep messaging.
So the biggest turn off on a profile has got to be someone saying don't message me if this or don't message me if that, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Don't message me if...
- Your favorite snack is a Twinkie and a cigarette. (I used to eat Twinkies, but recently decided I don't want my body preserved after death)
- You are not at all self conscious about those teeth. You know...the ones that aren't there! (My teeth are nothing to be jealous of. I do have a full set, brush them, and go to the dentist)
- You lied about either your location or your nationality on your profile. (I would date any race or nationality, but I'm not on here to help you get your citizenship.)
- You're, your, two, too, to. You only ever use two items from the previous list.
- You have ever jumped from an airplane. I don't think it makes you crazy. I just don't want you calling me a p***y, because I'd scream like a little girl if you opened the airplane door while I was on board.
- You are older than me. Sorry, but I'm getting old and unwilling to except my fate at this time.
- You are some hot chick in your 20's. What person in their right mind would want to spoil perfectly good fantasies by making them a reality?
Do message me if...
Oh hell. Anyone with poor enough taste to message me, I probably wouldn't be willing to date. Maybe I better rethink that citizenship thing?