when I'm feeling negative emotions - fear, anger, hate, whatever - whenever possible I try to find a way to act out on those things by bringing love and light into the world.

I give random donations to charities on behalf of people I should hate.  I send messages of love to people who have mistreated or hurt me.

Someone might say that makes me a doormat or a martyr, but I think it's just... trying to reverse the polarity.  Trying to shock the world.  I'm a disruptor.  It doesn't seem to work very often, I'll admit.  But I keep trying, and I always, always try to make the world a better place.  It makes me feel better.  I even feel a little bad or weird sometimes when I act out, do these odd childish things, but I figure that if my evil intention turns into someone else's blessing, then it's all ok.  Does that make any sense?

They say I'm too nice.  Fuck you, there's no such thing.