I speak two languages somewhat proficiently. I rented a car and drove solo across the Yucatan Peninsula. I have attended eleven schools. I am at constant combat with the Mississippi River but commonly act as a mediator between the Mississippi and its tributaries. I am the fearless leader of a drinking club. I continue vegetarianism because when I was 14, my father told me “it is just a phase and you’ll grow out of it.” I save drowning persons two at a time. When I sky dive, I sky dive naked. I can float sheetrock and disassemble a 1911. I only take orders from my cat. I completed a marathon. Guinness World Records won’t communicate with me. I can cook pancakes in the shape of cacti. I commandeered a Coast Guard vessel during a hurricane. Men commonly ask to borrow my power tools. I observe each solstice. Riding my bike without handlebars results in dental work every time. I fought the law law and I won. I took the test and I passed.

Enjoying it.

Making the most of my days, organizing events, cooking new dishes, playing quarters, achieving my goals.

My blue eyes and unhesitance.

Book: Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins
Movie: Benny and Joon
Show: Dexter (currently)
Band: The Pixies
Food: Watermelon

I am rephrasing the question to “prefer to not live without”:
1. Human companionship
2. Funny stories
3. Margaritas
4. Fishnet stockings
5. Q-tips
6. Spell check

How barbaric the twenty-first century is going to look to the people of the twenty-second century.

Where all my tupperware goes.

Future plans for world domination.

Out with friends.

I have a purple toothbrush.

You are single, interesting and honest. You are at least 5’7” and consider yourself attractive. Your hygiene isn’t disgusting. You own a vehicle with current tags. You have no major addictions, are self sufficient and non problematic. You don’t live with your parents. If you exceed these minimum standards, then please, for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, contact me.