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ChewyJ

31 M Melbourne, Australia

My Details

Last Online
Jul 15, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Hey there! I know this is my chance to impress you by showing incredible smarts, a sense of humor beyond anything imaginable and a wave of sexiness you will not resist surfing on. But that would be nothing more than a cheesy commercial. Personally, I would hate to bore you by telling you how wonderful I am by simply attaching a bunch of flattering adjectives to my name as I'm sure you've no doubt seen in hundreds of other profiles. Words are cheap and actions speak so much louder, so why bother with a fancy ad?

Now that we've dispensed with the pleasantries, let's start with the bad stuff. – I am not unique in the least bit. I procrastinate big time when there's shit to be done, and am impulsive and reckless when there's nothing to do. I hate houseflies but will go out of my way to save an earthworm. I cried when Mufasa (Lion King) died, and sobbed like a little girl when "The Notebook" ended. I swear endlessly and am a self-confessed night owl. There's a certain magic about the night. It either keeps me working or hanging out aimlessly. Can you relate to that? I have zero patience for flakes and fakers. You know what I'm talking about...

I’m not some typical Prince Charming type of dude that you wanna bring home to your mother. I won’t hold the door for you unless you deserve it. You’re a big girl. You can take care of yourself. I’d most likely try to annoy you for shits and giggles.

I expect to be served, cooked for, and cleaned up after. I don’t do laundry, and insist that you do it. Correction - Not just insist, but you must LOVE to do laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to cool, sparkling water after being trapped in a desert for days. Look forward to it like… I think you get the picture.

I don’t do the whole flowers and romance bullshit. I expect action on the first date, big time action. I don’t do sleepovers unless it’s at your place. Why? Because I don’t want you to know where I live.

OK ladies, waiting for your emails now… GO. If I do not reply and you get annoyed with me, well, let’s just say, “It’s not me, it’s you.” It wasn’t gonna work out anyway…
What I’m doing with my life
I believe in moments, the ones you talk about for ages to come, and I live for them. Long, short, good or bad, it doesn’t matter. There is no such thing as a bad experience as long as you learn and grow better from it.
I’m really good at
Storytelling and talking about anything and everything. I tend to go on tangents as well. I will even occasionally stop to quiz you to see if you have been paying attention.
The first things people usually notice about me
How would I know that? I'm not psychic though I wish I was at times...
The six things I could never do without
Food and water? Obviously... Does that count as 2 or 1?
Gym.
Laughter.
What else? Wow... surprisingly hard one to answer...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1) A possible zombie apocalypse! What I would do to stay alive, where I would go and who would be good to have around.
2) Time travel and the space-time continuum paradox.
3) Accents. I am particularly fond of the English, British accent. If you have a natural British accent and am willing to teach me to emulate it, just brilliant!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Signing up here! Then again... why the hell not? Meeting people online isn't for everyone as some find it contrived, lacking spontaneity or just downright creepy. I disagree. With a slight sense of adventure and curiosity, it can be a great way to meet new people, especially if your hectic lifestyle doesn't allow the time for it.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
~ You possess a streak of curiosity and a sense of adventure.
~ You can take a joke and are not easily offended.
~ You believe that wit and sarcasm is the spice of life.
~ You appreciate grammar, can spell, and are generally happy.
~ You look forward to doing laundry.
~ You are rich and in the process of finding someone to serve at their beck and call.

Everything else is negotiable.