Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If you can think of a better time to describe one's self on a
dating website than 2 in the morning, I'd like to hear it. What's
that you say? Practically any other time? Pssshhh, where's your
sense of adventure? This way even I don't know where this
description will go.
With all apologies to my mother and father, I was largely raised by
television (though I spend almost no time watching it now). As such
my communication is sort of seeped in pop-culture; I'm talking
Simpsons references, "that's like the part in Ghostbusters where…",
and the like. If that sounds irritating, well we're kind of at an
impasse here already.
That's not to say I'm incapable of communicating about more
serious, deep things. I actually prefer it to small talk. I'd
rather talk about I don't know, feminism or your opinion on the
afterlife. "Let's cut the shit and get into it" I'll say with a
smile. Though I would also like to know where you're from and hear
about a funny thing your cat did one time.
I have been told that I can be hard to read. I blame a dry sense of
humor and an occasional tendency toward monotone. Just underneath
that I assure you I am a festival of emotions. The other day I got
misty-eyed at a Youtube comment so y'know, I can be
A significant part of my sense of humor is predicated on the
listener knowing that I'm not really an idiot. Just know that if I
say something really really stupid, I'm probably kidding.
I'm always game to do something stupid. A cash-only bar warms my
heart (not a big deal if you don't drink, I'm not one of them
Bukowski-worshipping puds who mistakes alcoholism for a
personality). I clean up pretty well. I can be a bit of a
filth-mouth. Sorry in advance. Or not sorry, if you're also a bit
of a filth-mouth. Please ask me anything else you want to know.
I'll answer literally any question I'm asked.
Good description for the moment? It'll have to do.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
That's none'a your g.d. business.
Kidding! TV nonsense. Currently working in reality (I promise I'm
not an unfeeling monster), figuring out how to transition into the
scripted world. Mother-effer's gotta eat, y'all.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Talking with my hands, remembering pretty much every detail of even
the most mundane interactions, hugging, looking awkward in an
elevator, making friends with your dog, striking the balance
between earnest performance and goofiness during karaoke, not being
a dick if we get lost, eating hummus.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Usually my shiny pate (I am a bald) or the large tattoo on my
forearm. Also, I get compliments on my eyes and eyelashes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Lately: Noticing an obvious dearth, I am in the midst of a year of
reading only women, so right now it's:
Margaret Atwood - Oryx & Crake
Hilary Mantel - Wolf Hall
Jennifer Egan - A Visit From the Goon Squad
Marilynne Robinson - Housekeeping
Marquez (magic realism is my jam), Vonnegut, Fante, McCarthy,
Ellison (both Ralph and Harlan), Didion, and more!
I've got a lot of goddamned books.
I'm awful at naming movies I like. I worry about coming off as
alternately pretentious or dumb. I've been watching a lot of
Cassavetes now that the Criterion collection is available on Hulu.
Watch the Silkworm documentary "Couldn't You Wait" and The Flaming
Lips "Fearless Freaks" once every couple months because they're
There is a live version of "These Arms of Mine" by Otis Redding. In
the beginning the crowd can be heard. A woman is requesting "Good
to Me" over and over. The band kicks in and everyone rightfully
loses their shit. Otis hits the line "they are lonely" and just
twists "lonely" for all it's worth. It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.
The 2nd most beautiful was at a Neurosis show last year. So, my
taste is somewhere between those two poles, with a lot of 70's-80's
punk rock thrown in. I'm in whenever PJ Harvey puts something out,
the last Sharon Van Etten record is great, and I've been listening
to a lot of Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats, Weedeater, and
Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Louie, and all the same shit
everyone else likes. About to start tackling the largest hole in my
TV knowledge: The Sopranos.
Burritos and other cultures' burrito equivalents. F'real though,
I'm down to eat anything. I am not a vegetarian/vegan though I can
readily admit that they're probably right.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Does this question ever reveal anything interesting about anyone?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Is the tendency toward grammar-Nazism in the educated of my
generation born of a genuine concern for language and communication
or simply pedantic back-pattery?
Am I coming off as playful and nonchalant or moody?
Also sex, death, the apocalypse, and baseball.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm apparently the only person on the planet who doesn't care for
I'm pretty much an open book. Not a lot I keep private if the
question is asked.
You should message me if
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that sounds like a fun thing to do.
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