Sarcastic, and sometimes witty, I'm good for a laugh but otherwise
fairly boring. I turn down invites to hang out nightclubs with men
that have more cash than braincells if I already have plans to make
dinner, crack open a beer and finish a book I've been
Blunt sometimes to the point of insulting even when I mean no
insult. I believe that language is already an inarticulate way to
express ourselves so why leave things unsaid when not fully
mandatory to do so.
I'm a firm believer that human perception is weak and too limited
for us to ever properly define Good and Evil so judging others is a
sign of limited understanding and imagination. A flexible morality
system however does not give you carte blanche to be a dick to your
What I’m doing with my life
Working in accounting and tormenting my coworkers for fun.
I’m really good at
Making terrible remarks that silence a room.
Making up historical facts/proverbs and getting people to believe
them. (I consider it a writing exercise.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I say fuck alot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: American Psycho/Kill Your Friends/Norwegian Wood/Dead Eye
Dick/Rabbit Run/Walden/Invisible Monsters
/Transmetropolitan/Catch-22/Skinny Legs and All. Anything from
Vonnegut, Neil Gaiman, or Alan Moore. Always looking for more to
The six things I could never do without
Beer and books. Anything else is superfluous.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Morality paradoxes, genetics/biology, human psychology, evolution,
and various other morbid perversions.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking tequila in my office with a few of my coworkers, followed
by dancing and singing drunkenly in an empty street, stuffing my
face with Chinese food to sober up, followed by sneaking beer into
a late movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I spend more time carefully looking over someones pictures trying
to determine if they're fat or unattractive than reading their
profile trying to determine if they are interesting.
You should message me if
-If four people go out to eat and the bill comes $50.00 how much
will each person pay if they decide to split it equally?
-You find pessimism in a girl to be sexy
-You have atleast one weird story to tell me.