If I don't reply to you right away, please don't take that as an automatic rejection. Life's a bit mental right now and I'm extremely distractible to say the least. Anyway...

I've lived a pretty crazy life—I've seen the best and worst of the US, I've lived like royalty (sort of) in the UK, and I've been subjected to fairly brutal conditions in Canada. On the whole, I'm all about adventure—at the moment, I'm trying to take a breather and stabilise things, but the occasional crazy night out (or in) is entirely compatible nevertheless.

Depending on my mood (and whether I've had a lot of sugar/caffeine/alcohol), I can be a very uninhibited and wild person. Mind you, this is by North American standards—I was absolutely tame compared to my college's rugby team in England—but I assume that's really all that matters in this context anyway.

I can also be extremely analytical.

I'm actually homeless, if I'm honest. I'm looking for a place to live, and a job, ideally in Santa Barbara. I want to move to Santa Barbara 1) to attend SBCC, which is supposed to be great, and 2) to get the fuck away from LA and all of the negative associations I have of the place at this point in my life.

Well apparently I come across as gay or something, just because I flip my hair a lot. It really pisses me off because I'm not gay... I just don't like my hair in my eyes... I wish girls paid as much attention as guys do.

BOOKS:

1984, The Iliad

FILMS:

Too fucking many. I just wish I were able to see them more often.

TV:

Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dexter, Weeds, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Top Gear, Doctor Who, Peep Show, Misfits, Skins, The Office (no US remakes, only the originals.) I'm also quite intrigued by Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

MUSIC:

Oasis, Blur, The Beatles, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, Beady Eye, the Red Army Choir...

There are some guilty pleasures as well. I was in England just as One Direction was about to release its first album, and "What Makes You Beautiful" was a staple of the local nightclubs. (Male) peers would sing it in their bedrooms and I'd laugh upon hearing them as I walked down the corridor. My neighbour proudly announced that he was friends with one of the members (I've since verified his friend/former classmate to be Louis Tomlinson). So, the song stuck almost immediately, and I just assumed it was by a pop rock band—I hadn't a clue it was a boy band. Then I found out, and it was like, "Whoops. Oh well. What am I supposed to do, just decide to hate the song I like because I've found out it's from a boy band? They've beaten me fair and square." So, there it is—I like [some of the songs by] One Direction. I also find them quite attractive physically. So shoot me.

FOOD:

Stuff that's free of GMO's, synthetics, preservatives, etc. Basically, Trader Joe's.

1) Real drinks—Pimm's, Guinness, La Trappe, Deuchars, Peroni, VK, Absolut, etc. Where the hell do I find any of these (except for the abundantly available Absolut) around here? And before you say Guinness is an easy find, I need it canned—Guinness without the widget just isn't Guinness.

2) Sport—football, skateboarding, etc.

3) A decent haircut

4) Good friends

5) Good sex

6) Culture. There has to be culture or life is just boring and meaningless. Culture is what makes every day interesting; it's what makes life worth living.

I have an admittedly unhealthy obsession with my former uni/college in the UK. I miss the place to death and can't stop wishing I were still there. Of course, part of my longing is based on reality; part of it is rose-coloured glasses...

doing fuck all. Please, somebody, help!

I have some light scarring just below my left arse cheek from a hilariously traumatic streaking accident. I'm not sure how long it'll be there as it was a very recent adventure, but in the meantime, it's a badge of honour—I was the wildest student in all of Nova Scotia! (Not saying much, if I'm honest.)

You aren't a cunt. (And if you can handle my sometimes dry and abrasive sense of humour.) (But I promise I'm not dry and abrasive in the bedroom ;) (That was terrible...)

If you recognise the YouTube sensation from which my username derives, bonus points to you—redeemable for head, or something. Points expire within 30 days. Terms and conditions apply.