Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I find the concept of a self-summary simultaneously daunting and
reductionist, so instead, enjoy this selection of random trivia
My name is Chris. That is likely the least interesting thing about
me you'll read here.
Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I
The above is stolen from Gladiator, and I'm not even remotely
ashamed of that fact.
I choose beer based on a decade of trial determining my personal
taste. I choose liquor based on how cool the bottle looks.
I have a theory on just about everything that I witness. These
theories are completely wrong about half the time.
I consider the song “Never Been to Spain” by Three Dog Night to be
my theme song, since everything it says is true about me. Except
that I’ve never been to Needles.
I despise nihilists, idealists, existentialists, sensualists,
nominalists and transcendentalists with equal fervor.
I might have made up some of those words.
I identify myself as a relativist, which is great because it allows
me end most arguments with, "We're both right." Of course, then I
have to follow that up with, "and we're both wrong. and right and
wrong don't exist."
I have almost drowned twice. Once by accident and once at the hands
of my grandparents (also an accident... supposedly...).
I’ve never met a Mom who didn’t love me, and it is for one specific
reason. I’ll eat anything, and I’ll visibly enjoy it.
I can never tell the difference between someone retelling me
something they've told me before because they think I've forgotten
it since the last time they told me and because they've forgotten
they ever told me in the first place.
I am probably the most even keeled person you will ever meet.
Absolutely nothing makes me angry and I can count on one hand the
number of times I have been truly sad.
I never respond to "Thank You" with "You're Welcome" because I
can't say it without sounding like a sarcastic asshole. I generally
use "No Problem" instead.
I rate everything, if only in my head. Everything I see, from books
to shows to movies to games to arguments to points people are
trying to make. I immediately mentally assign them a list of
positives and negatives and assign them a letter score.
Consequently, I really enjoy seeing all movies, even really
terrible ones. Bad movies are sometimes more entertaining because I
can analyze what I think they did wrong and what I would have done
Also consequently, I'm always looking for new music, since every
time I give a star rating to all the songs on my ipod I feel the
overwhelming urge to get more songs to rate.
I'm relatively good at fixing things, but I have a bad habit of
making people call me "Mr.Wizard" when I do.
I feel like I should want to be more of an artist when it comes to
writing and film making, but all I really want to do is make big
budget adaptations of popular video games.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working for the man, writing when I can. That wasn't necessarily
supposed to rhyme, but I'll go with it. I work in film,
international post production specifically (If you've ever watched
Jurassic Park while in Germany or Latin America, I'm the dude who
put that together for you), but writing is my aspiration.
I'm watching a lot of movies and writing a lot about those movies,
as sort of a hobby, sort of a writing exercise. Here's what that
looks like: http://serialviewer.com
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Watching movies (no seriously, I can go five straight and then have
a detailed conversation about each afterward).
Civil discourse. I love to debate anything with anyone, based
singularly on my love of the spread of ideas. (Did that read as
pretentious as it felt writing it?)
Writing? That's up for debate, and a work in progress.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It used to be my mustache, but that's gone now, and with it a small
piece of my self-identity. So I dunno. I've been told that I
immediately strike people as immensely laid back, so let's roll
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have every intention of answering this at some point, but I have
a bad feeling it will end with me having wasted three hours and
written something well exceeding the character limit, so for now
let's just say a lot of movies, a lot of music, a lot of books, and
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My steady diet of ideas
Sleep. I really like sleep.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Deep Thoughts. Thoughts that Jack Handy would be proud of.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My Friday nights are hectic. You never know what's going to happen,
might be an impromptu trip to Vegas, might just be a bit of illegal
drag racing. You know, normal stuff.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That everything I said about my Friday nights was a lie.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You got any of the humor in my profile, and found it endearing
instead of obnoxious.
You capitalized the first letter of your sentences. (Damn, I just
excluded a lot of ladies on this site...)
You're old-fashioned enough to think that the guy should message
you. (Ok, that one was just because I really enjoy creating
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.