My name is Chris. That is likely the least interesting thing about me you'll read here.
Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.
The above is stolen from Gladiator, and I'm not even remotely ashamed of that fact.
I choose beer based on a decade of trial determining my personal taste. I choose liquor based on how cool the bottle looks.
I have a theory on just about everything that I witness. These theories are completely wrong about half the time.
I consider the song “Never Been to Spain” by Three Dog Night to be my theme song, since everything it says is true about me. Except that I’ve never been to Needles.
I despise nihilists, idealists, existentialists, sensualists, nominalists and transcendentalists with equal fervor.
I might have made up some of those words.
I identify myself as a relativist, which is great because it allows me end most arguments with, "We're both right." Of course, then I have to follow that up with, "and we're both wrong. and right and wrong don't exist."
I have almost drowned twice. Once by accident and once at the hands of my grandparents (also an accident... supposedly...).
I’ve never met a Mom who didn’t love me, and it is for one specific reason. I’ll eat anything, and I’ll visibly enjoy it.
I can never tell the difference between someone retelling me something they've told me before because they think I've forgotten it since the last time they told me and because they've forgotten they ever told me in the first place.
I am probably the most even keeled person you will ever meet. Absolutely nothing makes me angry and I can count on one hand the number of times I have been truly sad.
I never respond to "Thank You" with "You're Welcome" because I can't say it without sounding like a sarcastic asshole. I generally use "No Problem" instead.
I rate everything, if only in my head. Everything I see, from books to shows to movies to games to arguments to points people are trying to make. I immediately mentally assign them a list of positives and negatives and assign them a letter score.
Consequently, I really enjoy seeing all movies, even really terrible ones. Bad movies are sometimes more entertaining because I can analyze what I think they did wrong and what I would have done differently.
Also consequently, I'm always looking for new music, since every time I give a star rating to all the songs on my ipod I feel the overwhelming urge to get more songs to rate.
I'm relatively good at fixing things, but I have a bad habit of making people call me "Mr.Wizard" when I do.
I feel like I should want to be more of an artist when it comes to writing and film making, but all I really want to do is make big budget adaptations of popular video games.