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22 F Broomfield, CO

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 25–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:51pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from high school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Blah blah blah

I don't like mountain man beards. I'm not even sorry about it. I know it's a testament to your manliness, but anything past some nice stubble and it's usually a straight up no for me. However, awesome personalities can outshine even the worst physical deformities (which I consider mountain man beards to be)

I don't like pants. Pants are for the weak. Message me if you're willing to join in on a pants rebellion. I mean seriously, who the fuck likes those things?

I'm fat. And no, I am not being self conscious or looking for compliments. My pictures just make me look decently proportionate so they aren't exactly an accurate portrayal of what I look like. If you want someone who does yogalates and hikes 47 miles every weekend, go away (not that there's anything wrong with hiking or yogalates, I'm just saying I'd rather bake some cookies. And then eat like 3)

I wish I could change my username to something cool like the_tortilla_bandit (I really hope that someone, somewhere has this username. It would just make me incredibly happy)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.

All. Day. Long.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Road rage
Eating tacos
Making fun of people
Drunken debauchery

I actually do have nice qualities though too, I swear.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm kind of an asshole and I have no shame
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friends and Family
Questionable decisions
Daydreaming about being a total badass
Maker's Mark
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How stupid I think people are which always turns into the question of how many people think I'm stupid.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably 'doing some homework' which actually means drinking beer in my basement with my cat while sitting next to some textbooks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am unable to answer this question without having my lawyer present
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Don't message me if you want someone who is 'fit', 'in shape' or 'active'. If I do go to the gym, it's sporadic and as far as you should be concerned just pretend I sit on my couch all day doing absolutely fuck all in regards to exercise.

While I'm not necessarily looking for anything serious, that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you if say "wanna fuck?" I would literally have to quit my day job in order to fuck everyone dumb enough to think that line would work (although, who knows, maybe it actually does work on other people) so all that's going to happen is that your message is going straight in the trash.

I'd much rather be told that I'm interesting than pretty. Also, don't call me babe or cutie or sexy or whatever else there is in your first message. It's just gross.

To the guy who keeps asking me if you can put vegetables in my butt- stop it.