I have won cliff diving competitions off the shores of Sri Lanka,
spelling bees at the Kremlin, occasionally I fly with my wings made
of wax, and I have saved a baby from drowning twice (the same one).
I can rob an Italian bakery faster than you can undress your
favorite celebrity with your eyes AND I've been noted as
intellectually retarded on more than three occasions to be exact.
In my spare time I partake in many activities such as rock
skipping, mud rolling, garbage picking, igloo building, cake
baking, dinosaur growing, all night gaming, evil glaring, around
the world yo-yo-ing, parent shaming, warehouse looting, evil
scheming, youtube streaming, and music.
If you're here, then you're here because I either stalked you on
this ridiculous site and you're just returning the favor, or I
messaged you and you're trying to see if you even want to message
me back based on my poor picture taking skills, or you're bored and
have nothing better to do. That being said, check your ego's at the
door. I have worked with some of the biggest names in the
entertainment industry and even they have humility and keep their
abilities to judge in check. Enjoy your stay!