While going through one of the site plans at work, the project manager happened to notice two streets that seemed like they were names by a disgruntled employee. Well, I was curious so I GoogleEarthed it and found that these were actual names of streets.

I wonder who approves the names.

I found a typo in AutoCAD

I have no idea why but this makes me laugh.

This happened a while back but, I went to a local show with my buddy to go see his friends band play. It wasn't a big crowd but his friend did one hell of a show. Anyway, he decides to throw a CD into the audience and what happens? The effing CD hits a baby on the head.

First thought: poor baby! Second thought: What the hell is a baby doing here?! I would think that a concert would be one of the last places to see a baby. Loud music, beer, weed, aren't usually common in a family outing. Needless to say that the guy felt bad. But who expects to find a baby at a rock concert?

Apparently it happens more often than I think. I remember seeing a baby at Ozzfest that one time that I did go and I hear some of my co-workers mention baby sightings at a few other shows. Maybe it's just me but I would go to a concert to get away from my kids not bring them. I don't think they would like it anyway. Unless it's cartoons they'll loose intrest or if they can climb on things they'll loose intrest.

I love it when kids are learning how to speak.  It's so fun trying to figure out what their saying. So, sometimes I think that they're saying a bad word until I realise that they're trying to say something completly different. My kids on the other hand, when they sound like they're saying a bad word it's because they really saying that bad word. It's because thier mommy doesn't always know how to keep her potty mouth in check. I'm trying to work on that.

I've heard from so many parents that the word "truck" sounds like "fuck." For my brother, somehow he managed to make the word "smoke" sound like "fuck." So, when my mothers boyfriend George came over and he said "Mom and George are smoking?" my jaw dropped.

I'm going to get my ass kicked one day. I have such a bad habit of laughing at someone when they are really pissed. I think it's something that I developed from childhood. Everytime me and my sister would get admonished by our parents we would have to keep ourselves from giggling because we thought that the faces our parents made were so funny.

My sister and I kind of resembled Beavis and Butthead at the end of No Laughing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlYZbvmgx8E) . Right after our parents got so pissed off with us (because it was so obvious that we were trying not to laugh) they'd shoo us to our room and we would burst out in tears laughing.

I guess I carried that into adulthood. I still think people look funny with they're mad.

I got the DVDs on Netflix... I almost forgot how much they kicked ass

Ha! I littered the journal page with a pointless post!

I need a new hobby....:-/

"Do you wash your pants in Windex? 'Cause I can see myself in them."

"If I bought you a corn dog, could I watch you eat it?"

"Do you work at UPS? 'Cause I swear you were checking out my package."

"You know what would look good on you? ME!"

 "Excuse me, are your parents retarded? Because you look like a very special girl."

 "You have nice child-bearing hips."

 "Excuse me, did you fart? 'Cause you just blew me away."

"Do you work at Subway? 'Cause you're giving me a footlong."

"Girl, you so fine, when you take a bath, if you farted, I'd eat your bubbles."

 "I may not be the best looking person here, but I'm the only one talking to you!"

"Hey, you've got an onion butt. 'Cause it's bringing tears to my eyes."

"My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in."

 "I may not be Mr. Perfect, but I'll screw you until he shows up."

Needless to say that some of these deserve a slap.

I heard this story from my favorate radio show...

While out at a bar this guy meets this beautiful blonde woman. They hit it off and the next thing you know she's about to give him a little.... uh oral demonstration. While she's getting herself ready she asks the guy to hold her dentures. That kind of killed the mood. I don't remember if he still went through with it though. Apparently, while riding a mechanical bull she fell and it knocked out 5 top front teeth and 4 front bottom teeth. At least it was from something like that instead of drugs or something.

I guess the moral of the story is that if it's too easy then there's probably a reason.

But if I were a guy I don't know how I would react. Because being toothless does have it's advantages.

I hate double negatives so much. He's technically saying that he is a bitch.