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45 F San Jose, CA

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Sep 12
5′ 8″ (1.72m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from high school
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(( NOTE: I don't always rate profiles based on my interest in the person; I rate them on how much I enjoyed reading them. I know ... I'm peculiar. So if I rated your profile 4 or 5 stars, nicely done - you either got me to laugh aloud or smile broadly. I also rate profiles as 1 star if someone says their "everyday me" is an internet photo of Noah Mills or some other actor or model. If someone is already that much of a fake, they deserve the low rating. ))

So, I took off the "Body Type" as none of the options really define me, and for "friends only" it shouldn't even be relevant. (Really, none of those details should be relevant for friendship other than maybe religion on down for the sake of shared interests.) For those who think it is still important somehow, I am both athletic and currently obese. I'm a gym regular, love weight-lifting, walk 5k races, but I've been eating enough for 2-3 of me and no amount of working out can overcome that. The profile photo I added shows me as of today (end of May 2014) at the gym, before my workout. I'm working on transforming the way I eat, because I really want to see the muscles I have hiding.

Haha, that's quite the commentary to start with, I know. It does show a bit of the way I think and talk though. I can be very blunt about things I have strong opinions on, and incredibly evasive when I'm not sure or don't have an answer. I have no qualms about giving numbers like my age and weight, but I'll sometimes avoid giving my first name until I feel comfortable talking to someone.

I've never really been here on OKC to look for a potential romantic or sexual partner. I don't reject the possibility completely, because who knows where you'll meet that special someone, but generally I'm just interested in friendly conversation. (I even have my "looking for" set to pretty much everyone - all ages, all genders - because why would I limit who might be a future friend?)

You really only have to read this far if you're genuinely interested in "friends only". Let's start talking and see what shared interests we have. (Don't think the "friend zone" is going to be your way in. If someone has ulterior motives in being a friend, then they really aren't a friend. Simple as that.)

Now ... still thinking you're possibly interested in me as more than a friend? Well, tough. Literally. I'll throw up barriers and obstacles, worse than any tough mudder out there. I'm defensive and haul around so much baggage it is hard to tell I've actually left a lot behind. I don't trust easily. I may like the idea of a partner, but I also like the idea of being part of colonizing Mars. Both take a lot of hard work, planning, and may not happen.

**Edited Aug 14** Set my relationship status to "Seeing Someone". We're talking, dating, whatever you want to call it. He is a strictly monogamous sort, and I consider that important enough to say the same here. If we aren't a good fit, I can change it back, but unless and until that is decided, I'm only here for some friendly conversation. **End Edit**

The "perfect" match has to fit into my life without compromising. And I do mean compromising in both directions. I've decided I'm happy alone, I like the way my life is going, so being part of a couple should not stress me out, make me less happy, or make me stop doing things I enjoy. I don't want someone who does those things I enjoy just to get time with me, but inwardly dislikes them or resents having to bend to my will.

So, what does fitting into my life mean?

It means I love weight-lifting, doing a 3-day or 4-day split ideally, so I'm not going to break up my week so much to spend time with someone that I miss too many workouts. If you work out too, great. If you don't, great. But I plan to. One of my goals is a pretty high level of physical fitness.

It means I love to walk fast, so you'd better be able to keep up (or not mind that I don't run to keep up with you). I do occasional 5k races like the Silicon Valley Turkey Trot, as well as head out to a trail for 2-4 miles on the spur of a moment. (When I say fast, I mean I walked two miles in about 30 minutes today and was actually a little slow because my foot was hurting.)

It means I love action/adventure and sci-fi movies and avoid comedy and horror. Chick flicks and drama don't even make the list. =P

It means I'm a night owl. Getting up before 10 am on the weekend must have a very good reason and be rare. Staying up to 1 am is common. If I want to watch a movie, a late showing is more likely than an early showing.

It means I want to someday have a German Shepherd, if I can live in a place large enough and have time enough. I do not like squeaky toys - dogs under 25 pounds. I like dogs that are strong and smart. Rottweilers, if they didn't have ears and tails clipped, would appeal. I'm cool with pit bulls, even if I don't like the shape of the head. Cats are also cool, as long as they're pretty independent.

It means my current retirement dream is to leave most things behind and go backpacking. If that makes you shake your head and think I'm crazy, then maybe we don't think similarly enough.

It means I am very strong-willed and independent, and am not about to surrender even a touch of that.

It means I don't view gender as defining anything other than biological traits - and will not be tied by society's decision of what should be feminine or masculine, nor do I expect that of others.

It means I talk and write -- a lot. I'm not even kidding about this. I try to be just as good at listening. I've spent five hours in conversation with someone without running out of topics. I read a great deal too, with Kindle on my tablet that can be 3+ books a week, fiction and non-fiction.

It means I am a mother of adult children. The youngest, a 22yo daughter, was diagnosed with Lymphoma in March and has her last round of chemo about mid-June. None of them live with me, but I make room and time for them as a priority over just about everything else.

I do get cold sores. This means that while I love sex, love kissing and cuddling, my partner has to be aware of and accept / understand that. (They also tend to only crop up when I'm under a lot of stress, so the happier and less stressed I am, the better. =P )

By the Meyers-Briggs personality test, I'm INTJ, though depending on the day I can be INTP. I don't use that as a definition, but find it to be an interesting way of compiling the answers I give and showing the common trends. (I definitely am a natural loner - not just an introvert. I don't feel shy or socially awkward, in fact loving the energy of crowds, but too much social interaction with a group can wear me out and send me seeking quiet solitude.)

It means I'm something beyond all that - me. What I really and truly seek is someone who can understand that statement, who looks beyond a smile, beyond the face and body in a photograph, beyond the words on a page, and craves as much knowledge about the unique spiritual being I am.

So tell me ... who are you?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Finally getting somewhat back on track for 2014, after a lot of derailment. I've decided a couple of things I really want to achieve, and I'm putting attention on them that has been needed.

My two biggest goals right now both involve my physical fitness. One is shorter term, related to my food management and my workout regularity and intensity. The other is longer term, related to what I'd like to do when I retire. (Backpacking cross-country or even out of the U.S., which will require that I be physically able to do so at 70+.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
... learning new software as well as testing and crashing it
... reading
... writing - not published, except one short story, but someday!
... using lots and lots of words to express things in multiple ways (pleonastic!)
... being incredibly evasive when someone gets too flirty and personal.
... looking up things on the internet to get answers.
... laughing at the absurdities in life.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my hair, my eyes, my smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
It's so hard to decide on favorites as they vary with my mood and in some cases the list would get too long and still leave out something I loved.

Books, for example, Anne McCaffery's Pern novels, Broken God, Deed of Paksennarion, Red Mars series by Ben Bova, Heinlein and Asimov, and so much more. I once dreamed of reading every book in my middle school library before realizing how many there really were.

Movies. I adore the jet scenes in Top Gun as well as the scenes about Goose's death. Fifth Element has just the right humor to tickle my whimsy. Stargate and the subsequent TV series (watched via Netflix). Yes, action/adventure is my top movie preference! Of this year's (2013) movies, my top two faves have been "Now You See Me", which was worth seeing twice, and White House Down, unexpectedly. Most others (I've seen a lot this year) weren't bad, but just didn't grip me the same way.

I don't watch TV at all, though I've been exposed to snippets of Big Bang Theory at the gym. I only owned a TV to play console games (SNES, PS, PS2, GC, etc.) Way back I did watch such things as Babylon 5 (awesome series) and Star Trek: TNG and DS9 and Farscape and Alias- though watching series via Netflix is far more enjoyable. Yes, I clearly have a genre preference.

Music. Energy, dance beat, positive lyrics, some pop. Vocal trance, freestyle, old school rap, techno, latin dance.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Stars (sun and others)
My mind
Sense of touch
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
* ways to connect together things I'm reading and learning with other things that seem unrelated. Sometimes the littlest thing can be applied to something else to give a greater and richer understanding.
* everything. Overthinking it, in fact. Ask me a simple yes or no question, and odds are I'll spend the next 20 minutes coming up with the best way to answer, likely without a yes or a no.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
* at the gym after work, or walking on a trail, or ice-skating, or being lazy at home.
* having dinner and maybe a movie with one of my children and a friend.
* planning my weekend so I get everything done and have fun.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If I was willing to admit it, it wouldn't be private. I will talk about all sorts of things, but I do have a privacy line I don't cross often.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* you don't chat like this "Where n CA r u?" and "Was you number?"
* you actually have a reason other than my picture to message me
* you actually are interested in friendly conversation and realize I mean "Friends Only" quite literally