* DISCLAIMER *
My profile gets long and wordy. I'm a pain in the ass to get to know well, and very picky about who gets close to me. For most of you, I'm not even worth the effort of reading more. If I showed up on your Match list, I apologize for OKC's warped sense of humor.
Say hi if you want. I'll say "hi" back. Since I hate small talk, and you're not really interested in me, we can go on with our lives having wasted very little time.
* SELF-SUMMARY *
I am independent, solitary, excessively verbose, and more than a little blunt. I walk my own path and reject most labels as ill-fitting. If you really want to get to know me, don't try to fit me into a box.
For those who care, I get INTJ (the Scientist) but with a couple of those on the fringe where it can swap depending on when I take the test.
* WHAT DO I WANT *
A common question I get here on OKC is "What kind of man are you looking for?" I've always said I'm not looking (which seems disingenuous on a dating site, I know, but I got hooked by the questions rather than the people.)
For once I'm going to assume that I am looking, and give some sort of answer hoping a fair number of people can pre-filter themselves:
Must not smoke (anything) and ideally never has. Must drink sparingly, for flavor, for irregular social events, and must not feel an alcoholic drink is ever a need. Must not use drugs. (Very limited even for medically necessary prescriptions. I'm not "420 friendly". I accept that it is a personal choice for others, but for a partner it's a non-starter. I'm iffy on psych drugs. I've seen a few necessary cases, but I like to live without worrying if my partner has taken pills that day to be stable.) In other words, I want a partner who enjoys life without any chemical dependency.
Must be broad-minded about gender, sexuality, race, religions, politics, economics, really any area in which multiple views exist and most of it is opinion and beliefs. Must believe all humans are deserving of equal rights, not just special sub-categories or previously unfairly treated groups.
Ideally either has no children and no desire to have children in the future, or all children are grown adults with their own lives. (I'm in the latter category.) I have no desire to go back to having a dependent, or a partner with a dependent, someone whose needs by necessity come before mine, affecting my choices and my life.
Must be interested in a long-term relationship, seeking a life partner not just hoping to date for a few years until "the One" comes along. Must be interested in a whole lot more than sex, because while sex is great, it isn't what drives and maintains a relationship. I can be interested in kinkier things (only with me as top/dominant) but those must not be prioritized.
Must be independent and capable. I do household chores and prepare meals for myself, but I will not get involved with a partner who thinks those will be my sole or primary responsibility within a relationship. Self-supporting is important, but if wealth is a driving force and motivation we probably will not suit.
Age is important, but not an exact number so much as a reflection what those numbers can mean. It's a rare many under 25 who has enough life experience under his belt to keep up in a conversation. It's a rare man under 30 who shares enough interests and is not just looking for an "experienced older woman" or a "cougar" (translate most of those as "yay, they want sex, I want sex, this will be easy.") It's a rare man under 40 who isn't thinking about having kids someday if they don't already have at least one. It's a rare man over 50 who is on the same wavelength as me on music, movies, culturally, and more. It's a rare man over 55 who doesn't put me in mind of my father in his 70s (he has aged very well, a family trait) and that's ... unappealing. I won't set a cut-off, because a guy one year younger or older that the limit could be "just right".
Looks are important, but not in the sense of rating someone 1-10 and rejecting everyone above or below a certain point. Instead, there are certain things that appeal more. (Admittedly, though, an Adonis would drop to hideously ugly if he pulled out a cigarette, so that gives an idea of the lower priority of looks.) Health, hygiene, and a number of other things can be seen in appearance, and those matter more. A smile can make loads of difference, especially when it is the normal expression.
Location is important, though long-distance can work if there is a realistic plan and expectation of changing things over time to ultimately live together. Being local does not necessarily make things easier. I'm happy meet for walks, movies, or to have some hot chocolate and pastries, but I'm in no hurry to grab a relationship, any relationship, and I hate being pressured to move at the modern pace of dating.
Almost enough for here, but if you scroll on down to "You should message me if:" you can see that I keep going and keep going. I've actually had a couple of men feel absolutely compelled to write me just to say I write too much, that I should make it short and simple, because men like them are repelled by all this. Um ... good. If this is all TL;DR (too long; didn't read) for you, and your communication style is equally short and simple small talk, you're not going to like me any better in person even if you like my smile.
* QUESTIONS *
I've answered a massive number of questions here on OKC over the years. I've even put explanations on a lot of them. No, I don't expect you to go through all my questions. (I usually check "Unacceptable Answers" to see where the not matching aspects are.)
Questions are actually the reason I'm still on OKC. It was somewhat of a person goal - to find and answer every question, even the stupidest ones. As of November 2014, I'd answered all the original OKC questions (the page basically tells me to go search for a match) and have only been finding user-generated questions since. I had passed 7000 early in 2015, and was up to 7494 when suddenly it dropped to 6795 in August 2015. Seven hundred questions up in smoke. (My guess is that OKC, owned by Match.com, decided to remove a bunch of questions.) I'll probably still look for profiles with questions I don't have, but the more OKC changes, the more I ask why bother logging back on next time.
Well, back up to 8313 and working through questions on two profiles with a few thousand more. This is going to take a while!