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DeusExLasagna

27 Seattle, WA Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 12:47pm
Orientation
Sapiosexual, Straight
Ethnicity
Asian, White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
No, I won't grow a beard for you. They itch. Sorry.

Feminist, anarchist, transhumanist, and purveyor of fine dining, DIY, and dark humor. Aspiring roboticist and standup comedian. Chaotic Good-ish with an emphasis on "-ish." Exploring the new territories of kink, 420, and ethical non-monogamy. Unapologetic nerd, socialist, and maker of bad puns. In possession of about all the subtlety of a controlled demolition.

Swapping messages here is fun and nervewracking and all, but the novelty wears off sometime around "immediately." I have a hundred friends I only see online, and the excuse for that is that they're all in different corners of the world. I come here for chemistry a bit more substantial and ideally a bit less platonic, and to amuse both you and myself with this profile until that actually happens. So can we just cut to the chase and go directly to entertaining each other in person?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Someone thought it was a good idea to give me access to sensitive electronics that get installed on airplanes and missiles, and then PAY me to bang on them with screwdrivers and thermal paste for four nights a week. Can you believe it? I still can't, and I've been there for over a year now. Whatever, the benefits are great, and it being manufacturing and therefore almost entirely devoid of intellectual stimulation, it gives me time to focus on things I actually like, which is "anything not related to work."

I'm big on self-education, to the point where I basically spend my free time reading and taking online classes just so I can change industries ASAP. Like, 80% of my subreddits are DIY-related. Other than acquiring certifications in IT, my main interest is in drones and other small personal robotics. So I spend a lot of time buying quadcopters and flying them into trees. I'm a shitty pilot for now, unless you need a $30 kamikaze run at the nearest oak.

I love tattoos and body modification in general. I just got a second tattoo, which leaves about a dozen more to go. I used to dye my hair green and I really miss it. Professionalism sucks.

I do piecemeal volunteer work including food drives, blood donations when capable, and buying food for random homeless people on the street while meandering through the city.

On weekends when I'm feeling good about life in general, I go to museums, meetups, comedy nights, and quests to find the next great BBQ restaurant. Singles mixers terrify the living shit out of me, but I go to them sometimes too.

On weekends when I'm recharging, I stay at home with Netflix, my Steam account full of RPGs, sandboxes, and stealth/puzzle games, and whatever book I've just bought on either Amazon or at Value Village. Right now I'm alternating between reading interviews with comedians and steampunk novels. And playing Skyrim.

Also, I like hiking and boating and other nature-flavored things, but I have a weird paranoia of getting into a 127-Hours-sort of freak accident while going alone. Not that I'd mind surviving, because prosthetics are amazing these days, but I'd still rather have an adventuring partner for the more outdoorsy stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting down to business and defeating the Huns. Why do you suppose you've never seen any in this area? Exactly.

Taking a piss on the patriarchy. A pisstriarchy, if you will.

Also I'm decent at photography, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) Love of theatrics. Puns, physical comedy, wild gesturing for emphasis, I do it all!
2) [Redacted]
3) Love of pasta and food in general. It fills the empty spot where a sense of shame should hypothetically be.
4) Terrible music/literature/game references
5) I fidget a lot.

Some people tell me that I intimidate them. I don't really understand how, but I don't do it on purpose, I promise. I'm a teddy bear. Or possibly a slightly hairier version of Marvin the Paranoid Android.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Stuff I read:
I read a lot of political history and social issue books these days. I'm very much pro-labor and anti-(oppressive structure of your choice), so right now I'm working through A People's History of the US and various essays by classic anarchist philosophers (Emma Goldman, Mikhail Bakunin, etc).

But obviously, just sticking to politics and the real world would be incredibly boring, so some of my favorite fiction titles and authors:

Most of the Forgotten Realms series by RA Salvatore
Ready Player One
Fahrenheit 451
A Clockwork Orange
The Harry Potter series
Dune
The Alchemist
A Canticle For Leibowitz
World War Z (no really, my last tattoo is a quote from this)
Vermillion
Random stuff by HP Lovecraft

I have a bad habit of buying large numbers of books at Value Village because of their damn "Buy 4, get the 5th free!" deal. So I collect classics, tech manuals, whatever - but I've been trying to refresh and expand my fantasy and scifi tastes more recently. Name me an author! (I love homages to Lovecraft and classic mythology)

Stuff I listen to:
My taste in music defaults to, "What, at this moment, will do the best job of keeping me awake at work until the caffeine kicks in from the shitty office coffee?" I play hopskotch across all genres and I can't vouch for the quality of my taste at all. I'm just as likely to listen to Tchaikovsky as Ke$ha.

I default to classic rock/hair metal because Joan Jett is the sexiest woman alive and probably will be even if she lives to be a hundred. Also electronica/trance.

Other bands/performers important to my well-being:
Jonathan Coulton
Tim Minchin
Voltaire
Garfunkel and Oates
Bo Burnham
Lily Allen
Infected Mushroom
Iron Maiden
Combichrist
Marilyn Manson
Daft Punk
Five Iron Frenzy
Streetlight Manifesto
Electrixx

I also listen to a lot of standup these days, thanks to Pandora. John Mulaney is quickly becoming my next idol after Elizabeth Warren. Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Robin Williams, Louis CK, on and on. Also, I adore the hell out of Iliza Shlesinger and Rebecca Corry.

Stuff I Watch:
Lot of sci-fi/fantasy stuff, mostly, and TED talks.

Continuum
Eureka
Rick and Morty
Invader Zim
Archer
Bob's Burgers
HIMYM
Supernatural
Warehouse 13
The Walking Dead
Arrow
Z-Nation
Leverage
Young and Hungry

I watch The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and old episodes of The Colbert Report religiously. I also have a tradition of watching Colbert's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech on a semi-regular basis, because the shit-eating grin on W's face will never get old.

I'm generally addicted to older Disney movies, because the soundtrack for The Hunchback of Notre Dame is absolutely amazing and never gets old. But I like pretty much any kind of movie if it's done well (but I have a soft spot for zombie movies regardless of quality). Most of my movies are sci-fi, action-drama, and Pixar. Lord of the Rings marathon, anyone? Or a marathon of the MCU movies, because Iron Man is my spirit animal.

Stuff I eat:
I eat basically everything that doesn't have olives or mushrooms in it. Preferably pasta. You could bribe me with lasagna or Nutella, and possibly even with Nutella-covered lasagna. I love the royal hell out of BBQ anything, though. Also I really like curry.

Also, I love eggs but I don't know how to make them in any other form except "scrambled." Please teach me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The bottom two tiers of Maslow's Hierarchy are a given. Food and oxygen are incredibly boring to list as needs, especially in multiple spots out of the six things. I love food, but if I'm going to list it, I'm not going to say "lol food yummy," I'm going to say "that saucy-prickly smell of a well-cooked sirloin racing the smell of mashed potatoes to your nostrils." (Spoiler alert, this isn't actually my favorite smell.)

My education.

Does it sound narcissistic to say "concern for my legacy"? How about if I said I want my legacy to include making the world better for as many people as possible, or at least markedly worse for the people responsible for keeping the world as shitty as it is? Because it's totally the latter. Seriously, I dare one of the Koch brothers to show up here within Molotov-throwing range of me.

A plan (with or without the canal: Panama!). To quote a wiser TV personality than I: "I love it when a plan comes together."

My sense of humor. It's not always the best, but being a member of the American middle class, I don't think I'd survive for very long without it.

And I would be lying if I said I wouldn't severely miss a computer with internet connection.

***

There's a meme floating around that asks something along the lines of, "If you were a demon, what 3 items would I need to summon you?" I think my reagents would be a tray of lasagna, a handful of batteries, and a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Glowsticks instead of candles.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I study class warfare and authoritarian power structures for fun. Get me started on either inverted totalitarianism or the origins of the religious right at your peril. As a natural extension, this means I try to figure out and refine my attitudes towards basically anyone in the QUILTBAG community. And since being a straight white male is basically punching in every cheat code for every video game that's ever been published, it's a constant work in progress. Feel free to fight me about which privilege you think I haven't checked, including the privilege of simply being aware that it might need to be.

My next anecdote or piece of the studies above that I can work into a piece should I ever get the spine to actually DO a standup routine.

But thinking about all the ways the world sucks is also exhausting and I've been trying to ease off of it a bit recently for the sake of my own emotional health. So the other subjects I think about in no particular order include: DIY projects, learning to cook actual food, sex, cuddling, music, Burning Man, why my handwriting is so terrible and my selfies seem even worse, various zombie apocalypse scenarios and survival plans, and the viability of wind-powered cars.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Introvert mode: Flailing around in my bathrobe at home, packing a book, an internet, and Oreos. And probably toying around with this profile to make myself sound way more interesting than I actually am.

Extrovert mode: I go into the city and do things until Introvert mode takes over again. Sometimes I go into Capitol Hill with friends and work on acquiring a taste for clubbing. Sometimes I go into Portland, Port Townsend, or somewhere in between.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Basically, the majority of women who contact me so far on dating sites are bots trying to steal my identity without even taking me out to dinner first. It would almost be flattering if it wasn't also so sad. But if you're not a bot, you value good company built on good humor, humanist values, geekery, and enthusiastic consent, and you're impatient to get off this damned website altogether, by all means fire off at least one message saying so, so we can do conversations and food and whatever else we both agree that we're looking for from each other. Seriously, life is too short to spend it here.