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DeusExLasagna

27 Seattle, WA Man

Man

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 5:52pm
Orientation
Sapiosexual, Straight
Ethnicity
Asian, White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is Nathan, and this is my elaborate pretense at adulthood. All I want at this point is to find someone(s) to share the finer things in life with - bad jokes, good food, and the patriarchy's head on a stick. Medium well, even.

TL:DR - Lonely (but not desperate) Midwest transplant and extroverted introvert seeks adventures and human interaction of increasingly non-platonic arrangements. Feminist, anarchist, transhumanist, and purveyor of fine dining, DIY, and dark humor. Aspiring roboticist and standup comedian. Chaotic Good-ish with an emphasis on "-ish." Exploring the new territories of kink, 420, and ethical non-monogamy. Unapologetic nerd, socialist, and maker of bad puns.

Swapping messages here is fun and nervewracking and all, but the novelty wears off sometime around "immediately." I have a hundred friends I only see online, and the excuse for that is that they're all in different corners of the world. I come here for chemistry a bit more substantial. So can we just cut to the chase and go directly to dazzling each other in person?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Someone thought it was a good idea to give me access to sensitive electronics that get installed on airplanes and missiles, and then PAY me to bang on them with screwdrivers and thermal paste for 40 hours a week. Can you believe it? I still can't, and I've been there for over a year now. Whatever, the benefits are great, and it being manufacturing and therefore almost entirely devoid of intellectual stimulation, it gives me time to focus on things I actually like, which is "anything not related to work."

I'm big on self-education, and eventually I want to work in personal robotics. So right now I'm working on online courses for IT certification, and I spend a lot of time buying quadcopters and flying them into trees. I'm a shitty pilot for now, unless you need a $30 kamikaze run at the nearest oak. Do you have an Arduino? We should talk.

I love tattoos and body modification in general, so I study these and pine after the designs I want to get someday in the future.

I do piecemeal volunteer work including food drives, blood donations when capable, and buying food for random homeless people on the street while meandering through the city. Also, I'm a proud member of the Satanic Temple.

On weekends when I'm feeling good about life in general, I go to museums, meetups, comedy nights, and quests to find the next great BBQ restaurant. Or I put on some armor and beat people up with padded sticks while pretending to be Aragorn.

On weekends when I'm recharging, I stay at home with Netflix, my Steam account full of RPGs and stealth/puzzle games, and whatever book I've just bought on either Amazon or at Value Village. Currently reading this fantastic book of interviews of famous comics about the role and value of satire on modern society. It's a hoot, not least because it has interviews with both Robin Williams and George Carlin, who are collectively as close to God as I think it's humanly possible to feel.

Also, I like hiking and boating and other nature-flavored things, but I have a weird paranoia of getting into a 127-Hours-sort of freak accident while going alone. Not that I'd mind surviving, because prosthetics are amazing these days, but I'd still rather have an adventuring partner for the more outdoorsy stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting down to business and defeating the Huns. Why do you suppose you've never seen any in this area?

I bet I'm a terrible singer, but that doesn't stop me from belting along with whatever's on my Pandora channel at the moment. I want to go karaoke'ing sometime and duet Voltaire's Stuck With You with someone, it would be hilarious.

I also enjoy swapping around facial expressions and usernames at a moment's notice based on whatever cheesy pun or self-referential joke I came up with earlier.

I also have a pretty good handshake and can make a decent rum and coke.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) Love of theatrics. Puns, physical comedy, wild gesturing for emphasis, I do it all!
2) Corollary to 1): I love physical contact with people I care about and/or am generally attracted to. Always looking for a good snuggle buddy!
3) Love of pasta and food in general. It fills the empty spot where a sense of shame should hypothetically be.
4) Terrible music/literature/game references
5) I fidget a lot.

Some people tell me that I intimidate them. I don't really understand how, but I don't do it on purpose, I promise. I'm a teddy bear.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Stuff I read:
I read a lot of political history and social issue books these days. I just finished The Ethical Slut and I'm working on Opening Up, thanks to the several people here who have recommended both.

But obviously, just sticking to politics and the real world would be incredibly boring, so some of my favorite fiction titles and authors:

Most of the Forgotten Realms series by RA Salvatore
Ready Player One
Fahrenheit 451
A Clockwork Orange
The Harry Potter series
Dune
The Alchemist
A Canticle For Leibowitz
World War Z

I have a bad habit of buying large numbers of books at Value Village because of their damn "Buy 4, get the 5th free!" deal. So I collect classics, tech manuals, whatever - but I've been trying to refresh and expand my fantasy and scifi tastes more recently. Name me an author! (I love homages to Lovecraft and classic mythology)

Stuff I listen to:
My taste in music defaults to, "What, at this moment, will do the best job of keeping me awake at work until the caffeine kicks in from the shitty office coffee?" I play hopskotch across all genres and I can't vouch for the quality of my taste at all. I'm just as likely to listen to Tchaikovsky as Ke$ha.

I default to classic rock/hair metal because Joan Jett is the sexiest woman alive and probably will be even if she lives to be a hundred. Also electronica/trance.

Other bands/performers important to my well-being:
Jonathan Coulton
Tim Minchin
Voltaire
Garfunkel and Oates
Bo Burnham
Lily Allen
Infected Mushroom
Iron Maiden
Combichrist
Marilyn Manson
Daft Punk
Five Iron Frenzy
Streetlight Manifesto
Electrixx

I also listen to a lot of standup these days, thanks to Pandora. John Mulaney is quickly becoming my next idol after Elizabeth Warren. Also, I adore the hell out of Iliza Shlesinger and Rebecca Corry.

Stuff I Watch:
Lot of sci-fi/fantasy stuff, mostly, and TED talks.

Continuum
Eureka
Rick and Morty
Invader Zim
Archer
Bob's Burgers
HIMYM
Supernatural
Warehouse 13
The Walking Dead
Arrow
Z-Nation
Leverage

I watch The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and old episodes of The Colbert Report religiously. I also have a tradition of watching Colbert's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech on a semi-regular basis, because the shit-eating grin on W's face will never get old.

I'm generally addicted to older Disney movies, because the soundtrack for The Hunchback of Notre Dame is absolutely amazing and never gets old. But I like pretty much any kind of movie if it's done well (but I have a soft spot for zombie movies regardless of quality). Most of my movies are sci-fi, action-drama, and Pixar. Lord of the Rings marathon, anyone? Or a marathon of the MCU movies, because Iron Man is my spirit animal.

Stuff I eat:
I eat basically everything that doesn't have olives or mushrooms in it. Preferably pasta. You could bribe me with lasagna or Nutella, and possibly even with Nutella-covered lasagna. I love the royal hell out of BBQ anything, though.

Also, I love eggs but I don't know how to make them in any other form except "scrambled." Please teach me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The bottom two tiers of Maslow's Hierarchy are a given. Food and oxygen are incredibly boring to list as needs, especially in multiple spots out of the six things. I love food, but if I'm going to list it, I'm not going to say "lol food yummy," I'm going to say "that saucy-prickly smell of a well-cooked sirloin racing the smell of mashed potatoes to your nostrils." (Spoiler alert, this isn't actually my favorite smell.)

My education.

Does it sound narcissistic to say "concern for my legacy"? How about if I said I want my legacy to include making the world better for as many people as possible, or at least markedly worse for the people responsible for keeping the world as shitty as it is? Because it's totally the latter.

A plan (with or without the canal: Panama!). To quote a wiser TV personality than I: "I love it when a plan comes together."

My sense of humor. It's not always the best, but being a member of the American middle class, I don't think I'd survive for very long without it.

And I would be lying if I said I wouldn't severely miss a computer with internet connection.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I study class warfare and authoritarian power structures for fun. Get me started on either inverted totalitarianism or the origins of the religious right at your peril. MRAs/meninists/LAFs, "All/Blue Lives Matter" folks, or anyone who refers to oppressed classes as "bitter" or "thugs" can take a flying leap into the nearest wood chipper. I would rather see 100 CVSs burnt to ashes than see one more human life ended through the bottomlessly corrupt systems we have now that actively discourage the same basic quality control we expect of the people who make our food.

My next anecdote or piece of the studies above that I can work into a piece should I ever get the spine to actually DO a standup routine. And wondering if I can do this successfully without having someone yelling at me to check my privilege. Which I do often, I promise.

Also in no particular order - DIY projects, learning to cook actual food, sex, cuddling, music, Burning Man, various flaws of human nature or society, why my handwriting is so terrible and my selfies seem even worse, various zombie apocalypse scenarios and survival plans, and the viability of wind-powered cars.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Introvert mode: Flailing around in my bathrobe at home, packing a book, an internet, and Oreos. And probably toying around with this profile to make myself sound way more interesting than I actually am.

Extrovert mode: I go into the city and do things until Introvert mode takes over again. Sometimes I go into Capitol Hill with friends and work on acquiring a taste for clubbing. Sometimes I go into Portland, Port Townsend, or somewhere in between.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Please have more to say than, "hi." Preferably something along the lines of, "Some part of your profile intrigued/offended/gave me indigestion, and I want to meet up with you to talk about it over barbecue and 80s music!"

If you have pointers or additional resources for literally anything I've mentioned above. Self-education and stuff.

If you want a garden-variety adventuring partner for wandering the city, seeing the sights, and generally making hilarious memories, photos, and a new source of inside jokes. Or if you want the same thing with the additional option of sometimes just staying home and cuddling or having sex instead, that's cool too. Tell me what you're looking for and we'll work something out.

If I've visited your profile repeatedly and/or starred you, I probably like you but am too busy not being confident enough to give you the fabulous icebreaker and introduction you deserve. No, seriously, I don't do canned messages - if you got a message from me and it feels stiff, it's because I'm doing some awkward internal dance of trying to appear interested and put-together without also appearing entitled to your response. And I default to "professional," because these are functionally identical to cover letters and I've written more of those than I care to admit XD

No, really. Enthusiastic consent is the core of ALL of my social and political beliefs, without exception, and it's impossible to get here at first impressions on complete strangers. Which is why this place sucks and I'd like to get the hell out in the nearish future. So if you feel at least passingly interested, I would love it if you made the first move.

And if you have blue hair, I will probably adore you right away.

Also I'm on FetLife under the same name as here, if that's your thing. I'm a switch leaning towards sub, for the record.

***
As an aside, it's also worth mentioning that I actually live in Woodinville. I know a lot of people here/our age in general don't drive often or even own cars, but my weekends are typically wide open and almost all of my past relationships have been long distance on the order of hundreds of miles, so a half-hour drive into the city to meet/carry on a relationship is not a problem at all for me, and frankly far better than I typically could hope for even if I do 100% of the driving. I just want to meet someone for whom 20 miles isn't a complete dealbreaker all by itself. If it's any consolation, I'm trying to move to the Central District sometime later this year.