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27 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20-35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 19
Sapiosexual, Straight
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Average build
Not at all
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently), C++ (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
No, I won't grow a beard for you. They itch. Sorry.

Anarchist, feminist, transhumanist, and lover of gadgets, games, books, and pasta. Amateur coder, professional snarker. In possession of all the subtlety of a controlled demolition. Mostly looking for all kinds of company, the less platonic the better.

Also, profile-lurking and message swapping lose their novelty really damn quickly. You and I are probably far more interesting in person, so let's just meet up for coffee or curry or something and do that instead.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"What do you do?" is invariably interpreted to, "How do you sell your labor?" I work in aerospace on an assembly line, that's it for now. Previous dates have noticed that my eyes reflexively glaze over when the topic comes up, so that should give you an idea of how I feel about it.

I self-medicate with self-education. Like, 75% of my subscribed subreddits and meetups are DIY-related, and the rest are some mix of politics and co-op gaming. I have about half a dozen different branches of both technology and politics I adore, and drone tech is the main one right now that intersects both in a way I can really get a hold of. So I buy and fly $30 quadcopters and convince myself that I'm going to be an awesome pilot someday, no matter how many trees I hit on the way.

I love tattoos and body modification in general. I just got a second tattoo, which leaves about a dozen more to go. I used to dye my hair green and I really miss it. Professionalism sucks.

I do piecemeal volunteer work including food drives, blood donations when capable, and buying food for random homeless people on the street while meandering through the city. I'm an anarchist, feminist, and socialist, and I apologize for none of them - they all have several major events in US history in common to their foundations - and I try to keep an eye peeled on how to be a better LGBTQ+ ally to actually make some positive use of my birth configuration. Show me your resources!

On weekends when I'm feeling good about life in general, I go to museums, meetups, comedy nights, and quests to find the next great BBQ restaurant. Singles mixers terrify the living shit out of me, but I go to them sometimes too.

On weekends when I'm recharging, I stay at home with Netflix, my Steam account full of RPGs, sandboxes, and stealth/puzzle games, and whatever book I've just bought on either Amazon or at Value Village. As you read this, I'm probably either playing Skyrim or reading the fantastic book that was written by one of this site's cofounders.

Also, I like hiking and boating and other nature-flavored things, but I have a weird paranoia of getting into a 127-Hours-sort of freak accident while going alone. Not that I'd mind surviving, because prosthetics are amazing these days, but I'd still rather have an adventuring partner for the more outdoorsy stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting down to business and defeating the Huns. Why do you suppose you've never seen any in this area? Exactly.

Taking a piss on the patriarchy. A pisstriarchy, if you will.

Also I'm decent at photography, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) Love of theatrics. Puns, physical comedy, wild gesturing for emphasis, I do it all!
2) [Redacted]
3) Love of pasta and food in general. It fills the empty spot where a sense of shame should hypothetically be.
4) Terrible music/literature/game references
5) I fidget a lot.

Some people tell me that I intimidate them. I don't really understand how, but I don't do it on purpose, I promise. I'm a teddy bear. Or possibly a slightly hairier version of Marvin the Paranoid Android.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Stuff I read:
I read a lot of political history and social issue books these days. I'm very much pro-labor and anti-(oppressive structure of your choice), so right now I'm working through A People's History of the US and various essays by classic anarchist philosophers (Emma Goldman, Mikhail Bakunin, etc).

But obviously, just sticking to politics and the real world would be incredibly boring, so some of my favorite fiction titles and authors:

Most of the Forgotten Realms series by RA Salvatore
Ready Player One
Fahrenheit 451
A Clockwork Orange
The Harry Potter series
The Alchemist
A Canticle For Leibowitz
World War Z (no really, my last tattoo is a quote from this)
Random stuff by HP Lovecraft

I have a bad habit of buying large numbers of books at Value Village because of their damn "Buy 4, get the 5th free!" deal. So I collect classics, tech manuals, whatever - but I've been trying to refresh and expand my fantasy and scifi tastes more recently. Name me an author! (I love homages to Lovecraft and classic mythology)

Stuff I listen to:
My taste in music defaults to, "What, at this moment, will do the best job of keeping me awake at work until the caffeine kicks in from the shitty office coffee?" I play hopskotch across all genres and I can't vouch for the quality of my taste at all. I'm just as likely to listen to Tchaikovsky as Ke$ha.

I default to classic rock/hair metal because Joan Jett is the sexiest woman alive and probably will be even if she lives to be a hundred. Also electronica/trance.

Other bands/performers important to my well-being:
Jonathan Coulton
Tim Minchin
Garfunkel and Oates
Bo Burnham
Lily Allen
Infected Mushroom
Iron Maiden
Marilyn Manson
Daft Punk
Five Iron Frenzy
Streetlight Manifesto

I also listen to a lot of standup these days, thanks to Pandora. John Mulaney is quickly becoming my next idol after Elizabeth Warren. Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Robin Williams, Louis CK, on and on. Also, I adore the hell out of Iliza Shlesinger and Rebecca Corry.

Stuff I Watch:
Lot of sci-fi/fantasy stuff, mostly, and TED talks.

Rick and Morty
Invader Zim
Bob's Burgers
Warehouse 13
The Walking Dead
Young and Hungry

I watch The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and old episodes of The Colbert Report religiously. I also have a tradition of watching Colbert's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech on a semi-regular basis, because the shit-eating grin on W's face will never get old.

I'm generally addicted to older Disney movies, because the soundtrack for The Hunchback of Notre Dame is absolutely amazing and never gets old. But I like pretty much any kind of movie if it's done well (but I have a soft spot for zombie movies regardless of quality). Most of my movies are sci-fi, action-drama, and Pixar. Lord of the Rings marathon, anyone? Or a marathon of the MCU movies, because Iron Man is my spirit animal.

Stuff I eat:
I eat basically everything that either isn't miso soup or doesn't have olives or mushrooms in it. Preferably pasta. You could bribe me with lasagna or Nutella, and possibly even with Nutella-covered lasagna. I love the royal hell out of BBQ anything, though. Also I really like curry.

Also, I love eggs but I don't know how to make them in any other form except "scrambled." Please teach me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The bottom two tiers of Maslow's Hierarchy are a given. Food and oxygen are incredibly boring to list as needs, especially in multiple spots out of the six things. I love food, but if I'm going to list it, I'm not going to say "lol food yummy," I'm going to say "that saucy-prickly smell of a well-cooked sirloin racing the smell of mashed potatoes to your nostrils." (Spoiler alert, this isn't actually my favorite smell.)

My education.

Does it sound narcissistic to say "concern for my legacy"? How about if I said I want my legacy to include making the world better for as many people as possible, or at least markedly worse for the people responsible for keeping the world as shitty as it is? Because it's totally the latter. Seriously, I dare one of the Koch brothers to show up here within Molotov-throwing range of me.

A plan (with or without the canal: Panama!). To quote a wiser TV personality than I: "I love it when a plan comes together."

My sense of humor. It's not always the best, but being a member of the American middle class, I don't think I'd survive for very long without it.

And I would be lying if I said I wouldn't severely miss a computer with internet connection.


There's a meme floating around that asks something along the lines of, "If you were a demon, what 3 items would I need to summon you?" I think my reagents would be a tray of lasagna, a handful of batteries, and a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Glowsticks instead of candles.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I study class warfare and authoritarian power structures for fun. Get me started on either inverted totalitarianism or the origins of the religious right at your peril. As a natural extension, this means I try to figure out and refine my attitudes towards basically anyone in the QUILTBAG community. And since being a straight white male is basically punching in every cheat code for every video game that's ever been published, it's a constant work in progress.

My next anecdote or piece of the studies above that I can work into a piece should I ever get the spine to actually DO a standup routine.

But thinking about all the ways the world sucks is also exhausting and I've been trying to ease off of it a bit recently for the sake of my own emotional health. So the other subjects I think about in no particular order include: DIY projects, learning to cook actual food, sex, cuddling, music, Burning Man, why my handwriting is so terrible and my selfies seem even worse, various zombie apocalypse scenarios and survival plans, and the viability of wind-powered cars.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Introvert mode: Flailing around in my bathrobe at home, packing a book, an internet, and Oreos. And probably toying around with this profile to make myself sound way more interesting than I actually am.

Extrovert mode: I go into the city and do things until Introvert mode takes over again. Sometimes I go into Capitol Hill with friends and work on acquiring a taste for clubbing. Sometimes I go into Portland, Port Townsend, or somewhere in between.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Basically, the majority of women who contact me so far on dating sites are bots trying to steal my identity without even taking me out to dinner first. It would almost be flattering if it wasn't also so sad. But if you're not a bot, you value good company built on good humor, humanist values, geekery, and enthusiastic consent, and you're impatient to get off this damned website altogether, by all means fire off at least one message saying so, so we can do conversations and food and whatever else we both agree that we're looking for from each other. Seriously, life is too short to spend it here.

Also, I just realized that I no longer have the luxury of Invisible Mode, so you might get multiple notices of my visiting you. Sorry, I guess? I'm bad at introductions.