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Cluckidee

25 M Asheville, NC

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:49pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White, Other
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I do not attempt to be anything other than what I am, but I am a damn fine actress. I admit to trying to be famous for being what I truly am. And I truly detest an unshared lime-light.

Know these about me if you read the ensuing novella: I'm super insecure about joking about everything all the time, and I'm also unknowing myself now. Or maybe that last one was forever.

Some of my hobbies include writing, hiking and camping, cooking and baking, learning music, learning artistic trades, learning about herbalism, laughing, negotiating viewpoints, and hosting conversation at my tea table. People are what have enabled me to keep uncovering the things that I love. 'People' became my first love affair. So yea, I have a truly passionate love for society, even if it is only seen in hushed tones.

My myersbriggs is INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving Person). And I am an astrologer and a 5 year old student of astrology <3
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm going somewhere, sure, but I don't like to shoot straight for the moon, I'd always like to hit another galaxy first. I come from a strong background of hate. I've done a lot of subjective research into that very honorable part of nature.

My dreams come from a real place, but my conscious mind is completely in the way of them. I save this pity for a painting, though, because I've been laughing for years about the wonders and blessings of a broken heart.

All these small journeys still create the road of my dreams, my pragmatic goals. While my center is in building relationships, each seemingly chaotic step is forming a pattern that I can't wait to see more clearly. For my dream, by the way, is to become an Artist and Healer. Something like an Art therapist!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Singing, writing, honesty caressing.

My highlighted self becomes a giant bottle of social lubricant after investigation. I am good at knowing people the way they choose to know themselves, and at relating with them there, and here from within myself simultaneously. All so that I don't touch you without touching myself.

Conversation is my highest artform and I find it unending and boundlessly fluid throughout its transmutation. With me, when you speak there's a silence all around you, and when I'm not ready to listen I am still hearing every word in a dream that is unique between us. There are no gaps in languages that remain unresolved. I thoroughly enjoy compromise and I love learning about other realities than my own.

Gone into melting a daily grinding against communion, either we're all the same person or it would seem the subtle is still speaking to the youth of us each. Diversity seems unbreakable, but somehow also illusory. The how of this is my favorite philosophical subject.

I say I'm often hard to understand, but that understanding itself is my purest talent. For stability, I just enjoy the moments where I feel. For chaos, I remember how infinite unity really can be.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my 'subtle intensity'. I have a large ego and I like to keep it healthy that way. See, that's the portal to my shadow and I like grand entrances. It is why I both give and receive a lot of complimentary support. There's nothing worse for an ego than more attention than you need, and I rely on mutual intensity a lot for not loosing my focus. I am grateful for feeling normal when I might not want to feel that way. That's my subtle intensity.

I imagine that mystery is one of the first things to see in me. Or else some reverse hypothesis. A lot of people look at me with sympathy.

I think creating a healthier relationship with self that way is truly sweet.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot of fanciful things. And watch about the same. In fact, I even like my food to glitter.

I enjoy Victorian novels. I enjoy Victorian everything. I really love the Bronte Sisters and Oscar Wilde holds the key to my heart. I also very much enjoy all forms of Poetry, and I write my own. Local poetry has been my recent Crux.

My reading is set in motion to bring the school of life into abstraction and refurnishing. I'm currently reading the Bhagavad Gita, The Lord of the Rings trilogy (Actually making it through this time), Rumi, Grimm's fairy tales, Some astrological text books (archetypes and semiotics), and a few about spirit and body.

As for music, I truly do love most all of it. That includes no exceptions of music type. But the music I go out of my way to hear has a striking Folk predominance. Joanna Newsom's a good name to throw out there, because she's weird with it and I needed that. I was raised with classics like Denver and Simon & Garfunkel.

I do watch a lot of this and that on my computer. My favorite kinds of movies run along the lines of Eternal Sunshine and Clapham Junction. I like sadness too much. Shows are Once Upon a time, True blood, and others to embarrass me further. I'd just rather not blush on the internet. Okay? Charmed.

As far as food goes, I'm reinventing that corner, don't look. I have had a poor relationship to food in my formative years, and I am looking to find out what nutrition helps my body talk. I'm trying out all the ancient staples of as many cultures as I can collect. Right now its beans, rice, and more meat that I'm comfortable eating.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1Yoga!
2Tea!
3Community! (Around food.)
4Nature!
5Romanticizing!
6Consciousness? Oh wait, food. GOOD food.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
In my spare mental time I try to practice meditation or mindfulness. Thoughts and memories are hard to separate. I see so many potential futures that I get dizzy without calming my mind often.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Reading, or gathering with loving peoples. I might even do both. I've been known to have parties in public all by myself. I now have a plethora of friends again after going through a reclusive life-patch a couple years or more ago. I don't drink much now, but I do love a good bar crowd. I'll go anywhere and do just about anything. Practicalities don't line up without a little help.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Mainly that I don't talk this much in person; that I don't like to be seen as ONLY feminine; that I'm horribly angry with the word "weakness." But since I like to get wordy, here's a chapter on what's truly private for me - a person who has fought hard to say he loves mystery.

(Bullet points for those who like to read chaos with a frame around it:)

(-I'm mean)
(-I enjoy sharing confusion)
(-I always fall in love first)
(-Love is a competition to me)
(-I'm so careful, I don't care at all)

Through the silences that evolve in-between relationships: I tend to inspire. Even if it is only myself. I work hard to keep myself together when I travel to the caves of lovers in dreams, lighting fires and fleeing. The whole process of inspiring is not solely a good thing when inner conflicts go unresolved. To be great means you have to be fixed from the emotional concept of brokenness... A dear gal pal once told me that brokenness is an illusion. In silence, I argue. I argue a lot.

Well, a hand is dipping into the pot of empty. I'm seeing I've set the tone for you to know what my presence is like. Escape words. I'm not even using them.

Sometimes conflict is just another philosophical conversation, made personal. Other times, we think it hurts; maybe it doesn't. I am still learning to tell myself the difference in pain and pleasure and this confusion does affect my relationships. I am so sorry about it! <3 Trust saves me often.

I'm sure that some people, and at times myself, are more afraid of love than they are desperate for it. I have learned that even when any relationship stops making new sense, it is important to work with what you have left on the table. It would seem that conflict in relationships has been necessary for me in order to get to know someone truly. Conflict is usually what a person thinks is wrong with me. I must "obviously" never like to talk about it. This is my negative relationship cycle. What survives, remains profound to me. But there always seems a fire to put out, and a crises to avert. I like to let things burn slowly. Summer time comes and the ashes become face paints. Why are you still digging in the mud when it is time to dance with dirty feet? Sweat is cleansing too.

I handle my voice poorly under any psychological break from synchronicity. And while there's beauty to be found living in a constant chaotic mental state of change, staying there makes me feel like I carry an inactive gene for mental illness. I work best when my moments flow like they are each as precious as the next.

When I am done scratching at the surface of what is really wrong with me, I beg forgiveness for doing so, and package up time in a box with a bow and hand it over. Because obviously, what we find wrong is never about just ourselves. This is why silence is such a part of the conversation of life, when two people share it.

There is a pattern of loss in life that is perhaps a map of the biggest flaw to know about a person. Perhaps this is a treasure of sorts, and even so, I just can't give up the ideals of true and pure unity. Equality is what makes this information come slowly to me. I am determined to see everyone I love as truly perfect, because I categorize flaws in an ornate system of flowing nonsense words.
But each loss pattern seems particular to individuals. Mine is mine. With each romance I push myself through, I aim to learn separateness, and then work it back together like a mechanic of the cosmaniac womb. I love to loose my innocence simply by knowing too much. Flaws can be what we love.

It is like I haven't transcended sacrifice. Therefore, whether it is naive or not, I do believe in a Utopian existence.

A lot of folks don't really want to be known intimately. So I feel within extremes but dancing on either side of the empathetic line is how I hope to achieve mutual understanding with love's shadow. And this high standard does in fact leave room for error. At the end of each love making a lesson, I thank goodness for knowing nothing. Fuck egos.

I seem to hurt others when my back is turned. In the animal kingdom this is truly cruel. That is my safety net, this animal kingdom makes room for learning from mistakes. I can't bear hurting the ones I love, though I honor the roles that hurt plays in life. I do that because I see growth there. And because I still get to treat emotions like the weather treats my own. I love your ego so much.

Whenever I feel out the flaws of others, I leave a little of my own flaw behind me. I think that because this is highly personal for everybody, it can be hard to manage at times. Certainly hard to own up to, at others. But grace is free with friends, and I even call my enemies close to me with what is a special care between us.

So maybe I'll never achieve pure communicating, and never know that I am already showing that I care, but I never regret helping others reach higher understanding. This is true even if the process turns out sacrifice within the interdependency struggle. The result of loss is always the same: what makes it through fire is more worth keeping than what doesn't. Besides, when it comes to relationships I'm a complicated person, who acts in very simple ways. Misunderstanding has become my greatest enemy, because he never comes close enough to me for a nice view. I must be a spiritual warrior of a different nature than I believe myself to be.

I'm a shy person that needs to open up and find a person that isn't me. And that's very private, isn't it.

My inner conflict always comes out, and while I let out that guilt, I still have to empathize with what comes out of me. I know this is the paradigm of creating conflict in relationships. I truly believe cruelty does not have to be a part of reality in any way. If you get to know me, I will be learning lessons through YOU, my one and only guru. That's no more pressure than being yourself. I'm so thankful that this life has taught me one key principle in getting through myself to others. It is our flaws that unite us, never do they truly isolate us.

Haha! I'd love to meet you all, and any one who would take this time reading a silly profile ^_^
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You wanna be mah friend!
- You are monogamous or polygamous and don't mind me mirroring the person I love. (When it fits, it fits.)
- You like adventures and have one to share!

...you feel like it! Definitely if you want to, you should. (I don't discriminate against the indiscriminate "Sup?" so please, just use the words that come to you.) I'm really quite nice, if only too often busy to reply.

Lastly, if you are educated about gender. When I was masculine, I was so open to so much feminine; when I am now seen as fem, I am not often blessed by that same courtesy. I don't understand it much. I don't really see myself as feminine, but my friends laugh at that about me. I think it is akin to speaking in accents. I like doing that a lot too.

Do something about it if you dig me, dig me?