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CoarselyRefined

28 M Sunnyvale, CA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 15
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Since I don’t yet know my audience, I’m going with an earnest tone for this profile. I’m quite witty once you get to know me, I promise.

I am a slightly shy extrovert. You’ll get my life story once I get the impression that you’d like to hear it. I will also listen intently to yours.
I try to let ideals and emotions drive my goals, while logic and pragmatism inform my choices and actions.
I’m a proactive communicator. I like to give advice to willing recipients.
I am pretty much incapable of lying, certainly of lying convincingly. My sisters will back me up on this one.
I’m a touchy-feely person but try my best to give space to those who aren't.
I am optimistic and empathetic.
I strive to be considerate and dependable.
I'm a feminist.

If you are looking for a guy who adheres to straight male stereotypes all or most of the time, I am probably not your guy.

Of course, you have no way to verify these things except by getting to know me, or at least by interrogating my friends.
What I’m doing with my life
I’ve been in California (and no plans to leave!) working at an awesome company as a software engineer for 6 years now.
It used to be a lot of coding and debugging, but at this point in my career it’s a more reasoning about complex systems, and team captaining. If you want to hear me rant about it further, I’m happy to provide techie and non-techie versions.

For leisure, I like good company, good food and drink, and outdoor scenery. Cooking or going for a walk/hike is my idea of a good time, either with friends or a date.

In my experience, there is no better way for a small group of people to get to know each other than spending a few days together in the wildnerness with beautiful scenery.

I’ve done a bunch of backpacking in the last few years, largely in the Sierras and the Ventana Wilderness (Big Sur area). I did a super intense week long trip in the High Sierra last summer, and am ready for more relaxing, or at least more lightly provisioned trips. I’ve managed to spend my birthday (+- one day) in the woods for the last 4 years in a row.

I’ve been doing a lot of rock climbing. I climb mostly at the gym before work. I like the physical problem solving, the nice social atmosphere with my climbing friends, and the moderate exercise. I could be convinced to do more outdoor climbing by an enthusiastic partner.

I like to run 5-10k a few times a week. My knee is a bit busted and doesn't tolerate biking well (I know, running but not biking, weird).
If I fall in love with someone who really likes bike rides, I'll get an elliptigo (but damn are they goofy looking).

I’ve been brewing some really tasty beer with my roommate for the last year too.
I’m really good at
Listening and giving advice when appropriate.

Knowing unusual facts.

Synthesizing hypotheses from said facts and envelope calculations.

Soliciting, accepting and incorporating feedback.

Planning (and executing) sweet trips, especially outdoorsy ones.

Recommending beers, even to people who don’t normally like beer. If you describe to me what you like (in food in general), I have great taste bud empathy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I can raise either eyebrow independently of the other.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality - Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethá, Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides, The Riddle-Master of Hed - Patricia A. McKillip, A Wizard of Earthsea - Ursula K LeGuin, Nine Princes in Amber - Roger Zelazny, Foundation - Isaac Asimov, Report on Planet Three - Arthur C. Clarke, Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card, Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison, Slapstick- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., East of Eden - John Steinbeck, The Kid - Dan Savage, The Commitment - Dan Savage, A Game Of Thrones - George RR Martin.

The Internet: Savage Love (and anything else that Dan Savage is involved with), Planet Money, On The Media, Fark.com.
Every year I grow older, A Prairie Home Companion gets better.

Movies: Miyazaki movies... my favorite is Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, Arnold action flicks, Samurai movies, Juno, Monty Python, Swingers, Little Miss Sunshine, The Big Lebowski, The Princess Bride, Stardust, Hedwig And The Angry Inch

TV: The Wire (best show period), 30 Rock, The Daily Show, Cowboy Bebop, Aeon Flux, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Star Trek TNG and Deep Space Nine

Music wise, I mostly listen to Jazz (KCSM) on the radio. The breadth of stuff they play is really great, and it brings me back to my swing dancing days.
Ska makes my nostalgic for my teenage years.
I've been listening to a ton of Blackalicious lately. I find their lyrics impressive and their themes meaningful.
I'm sometimes susceptible to dance and pop music.
Some other favorites include Cake, Foo Fighters,OK Go, Electric Six, Lady Gaga, and Peaches

Food (and drinks): I'll eat (and enjoy) pretty much anything... Thai, Indian, and Italian are some of my favorites. I love to cook fondue for parties. I appreciate good beer... especially wheat beer and Belgians.

I enjoy gender transgressive art, e.g. listening to Peaches and dressing in drag on halloween.
The six things I could never do without
My sisters, who awesomely live in the area.

My friends.

Grass and trees: The city is a nice place to visit, but I need a certain amount of greenery in my life.

Lactase enzyme pills: I just like cheese too much to be lactose intolerant.

Proper footware: running shoes, dancing shoes, climbing shoes, hiking boots, and ice skates.

Sunshine: four winters in New England really made me appreciate it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I’m super interested in human relationships, human sexuality, personal ethics, economics, politics, and generally learning any new thing.

At work I spend a lot of time thinking about how to build systems which won’t break down when hundreds of other very clever programmers use and misuse them any way they can.
On a typical Friday night I am
In good company, unwinding from a challenging day, or planning something fun.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Private things that people actually want to read varies a lot from person to person. Ask me a personal question and I'll do my best to answer it.

I have a periodic shower curtain of elements.

I dressed up as Hedwig (Angry Inch, not Harry Potter) last Halloween. Drag makeup was a new and interesting skill to develop. My legs look amazing in heels.
Previous year was Rocky (Horror, not Balboa).

My littlest sister (well, she's 23 now, but still seems little to me) corrected (hopefully most of) the spelling errors on my page.

I used to use a dungeons and dragons themed website to nag my roommates into doing chores.

I'm really bummed they changed the "Personality" section and got rid of the overlapping normal curves.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are generally confident in yourself. (Of course everyone has moments of doubt.)

You are warm-hearted and open-minded.

You are looking to meet someone who could (potentially, not necessarily immediately) become a long term partner.

You aren't horrified by the idea of some degree of non-monogamy in a serious relationship.

An interest in the outdoors would be great. Experience not required.