I really hate these "about me" sections of anything. It's like writing the foreword to your own autobiography. Which I may have to do because Tom Robbins won't return my calls.

I have a deep appreciation for the minutiae of life."Stories only happen to those who can tell them," and I take pride in my ability to notice the stories in mundane life and tell them. My hope is to meet someone who can come home from work or a night out and have a better story to tell than that of one who had just been in Costa Rica for 3 months.

I'm full of idiosyncrasies, and more so than any physical attributes, nothing turns me on like a woman's quirks that are unique to her. It's like her behavioral fingerprint and it's going to be a large part of the reason why we'll either get along famously or euthanize our budding relationship. Some of mine include my unconscious tendency to stand on the edge of my right foot while peeing and the ability to evoke the feeling of homesickness by rubbing my own nipples (don't you dare try to do this to me in the hopes of making me homesick- it only works when I do it and you will only succeed in making me horny).

I use my right hand for anything that requires power and my left for anything that requires precision (but don't worry, I'm sexually ambidextrous). I believe that this physical reality has resulted in a strange contradictory consciousness: I have the ability to notice the qualitative details across many different areas typically unique to the dominant side of one's brain, and I can find hidden connections among such info, but stepping back and looking at the whole picture can be tough for me. Sometimes I feel as if I'm walking through a cave with a super focused flashlight, able to brilliantly light up a tiny part of the wall, but unaware of the wall, critters and stalactites/mites around it. I vacillate between being proud of my ability to see my part of the wall and ashamed of my inability to notice the rest of the cave. This is why fields like macroeconomics, global politics and astrology make my brain explode in a wonderful but infuriating way.

Ok- is this enough? I think this is enough.

I recently finished my Masters in Social Work and am a Social Worker in the locked psychiatric ward of a large NYC hospital. I love my job as I get to see ways in which the brain breaks and behaviors that few others get to, it gives me great stories to tell and also because it will provide the basis for my million dollar idea, "Psych Ward: A Musical" (I think that this represents progress from my previous two million dollar ideas: The Talking Vibrator and The Talking Vibrator: celebrity edition).

The job is cool for now, but I'm working towards being a private practicing psychotherapist. Don't worry, I won't constantly analyze you, that would be like a baker going home and eating cake.

Also, I just finished raising a litter of 7 puppies born to my dog Soli, whom was adopted to me very pregnant without the shelters knowledge. I kept one whose name is Wonton, found homes for the other 6 and learned a lot about canine midwifery during the 6 hours of labor in my bedroom.

Finally, I'm also a musician, playing afro-cuban and West African drums in jazz, salsa, afrobeat and funk bands. I'm beyond the dreams of this ever providing a viable career for me, but it will always be a big part of my life that I burn hot for (note to self: never say "burn hot" again).

Giving love, listening, procrastinating (black belt level), making people laugh at inappropriate times, giving/taking ball busting (I'm talking jokes, not cock and ball torture here), being sarcastic, having sarcastic jokes misinterpreted over digital communication and conversating with anyone anywhere in any context.

My Semitic good looks (at least the Hasids who try to rope me into their minyan around the subway do- why don't they ever believe me when I tell them I'm not Jewish!?) and my words.

Books: the aforementioned Robbins; Oliver Sacks; Guns, Germs and Steel; Sharp Teeth; Devil in the White City (even though it was horribly misrepresented in its marketing. Needs. More. MURDER!), B.E. Ellis, anything about ancient civilizations, especially Rome, Greece and Carthage. ummm- that's it for now.

Movies: All Coen Brothers before Intolerable Cruelty (especially Lebowski), Nicholas Winding Refn (particularly Bronson and Drive), Cronenberg (LOVED Dangerous Method), anything with zombies (can't wait for World War Z), Calle 54, City of God, Woody Allen, slick British crime thrillers, gritty Brazilian crime thrillers, Hong Kong cinema, Werner Herzog, lots of others.

P.S.: If you enjoy Diablo Cody's writing or Michael Mann's soundtrack decisions, or Jamie Foxxes' existence, kindly move along, please. This won't end well.

Shows: I like t.v., and I'm not going to apologize for it. Deadwood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Lost, Arrested Development, The League, Boardwalk Empire, Taboo, Mets games (cry for me).

Music: Neil Young (who, like seltzer, just keeps getting more enjoyable as I get older) Fela Kuti, Irakere, Miles' 2nd quintet, Nick Drake, Ella and Billie and Big Mama Thornton, Robert Johnson, be-bop, still love my Guns N' Roses, salsa dura, I dunno- lots of stuff.

Brain jousting
Family and friends
Sarcasm
My base drives
Live music
People with neuroses

Note: Were the zombie apocalypse or nuclear winter to go down, I think that I'd get on just fine without any of the above. Except maybe family. That would be kinda sad. Maybe.

The adaptability of humans, neuroplasticity, my patients, my life, the future and the past.

still out from happy hour or home early, recharging.

What, the nipple-homesickness causality wasn't enough!?

you're the least bit intrigued by this 2-D, binary version of me. The 3-D version having conversations in settings in which real time response and eye contact are possible is much better. Promise.

Also, you don't need to endlessly email or talk on the phone before we meet. It's becoming clear to me that not everyone who represents well over digital communication does so face to face. We're both on here to meet wonderful, interesting good looking people- let's, you know, MEET!