Ohai there, I'm like super smrtz. All you women seem concerned about grammar, so let me tell you; I know the difference between there, they're, their, you're, and your. LEMME SHOW U GURLLLLL.

Yo gurl, I done hurd that your going over to they're house over their across the street. I hurd there cat is really cool and you're cat will totes love them.

My goal in life is to be a proud member of the Juggalo community.

http://juggalosofokcupid.tumblr.com/

FTP
ENFP
DFTBA

Hoodrat shit. Such as:
Punching old ladies.
Kicking helpless children.
Driving my grandma's car. WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Thug life.

Talking about my feelings and junk.
(I feel a lot of things in my spare time)

Drinking 40s in public.

Taking jokes too far.

Talking too much about the Roman Empire. (A real good subject to discuss if you're trying to be alone forever)

My beautiful elbows.
(No, I won't send you naked pictures of my elbows, stop asking.)

Oh, and my phat ass.

Throw down on the Dickinson, John Green, John Keats, Hemingway, Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Albert Camus, and even Thoreau-despite all you haters.

Super man crushes: The Tallest man on Earth, Johnny Flynn, Nick Drake, and Sufjan Stevens.

Music boners: The Vespers, Panda Bear, Last Dinosaurs, Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, Blitzen Trapper, Steam Powered Giraffe, Dawes, Jinja Safari, The Middle East, Edward Sharpe, Neon Indian, The Mountain Goats, Seryn, and some other dumbhipsterwannabeshit

EDIT:
This is the only music I listen to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kERUc8HC6Tk&feature=youtu.be

I haven't seen the Lion King all the way through in my life. I could imagine it involves a lion eventually becoming a king at some point.

Movies: The Room and only The Room. Everything else is shit.

TV: I don't have eyes

Pickles deserve to burn in a fire.

TL;DR
Shitty hipster shit.

Your mom.

x6

Why everyone is so embarrassed about being on OkC? Who da fuck cares.

How many OkC profiles I'll have to read before I become completely incapable of ever loving another human being again. (I feel like I'm getting pretty close.)

Why I can't grow a full beard yet.

Why Youtube keeps showing me tampon commercials.

Why people who say they are "down to earth" and "drama-free" tend to be neither.

Why everyone thinks THEY have the necessary skill set to survive a zombie apocalypse.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future

Drinking whiskey while sitting in a dark room, listening to Ryan Adams "29", and crying over pictures of my exes.

I used to be a Live-Action Hentai Tentacle pornstar.
(I was the woman)

I probably won't message you if your "you should message me if" section says "If you want to! :DD:D::D:D".

If you want a tall and handsome man. Because I am neither and I'll just make you miserable, so be miserable with me.

If you are a Nerdfighter who wishes to fight against Worldsuck.

If skinny pale white guys with crappy blue eyes are your thing. But if we ARE your thing, you have bad taste in guys... so don't message me.

You don't constantly have to be in a relationship to be happy. Appreciate your damn alone time.