Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If old-fashioned bicycles or granny smith apples trigger you, don't
I picked my username by going to
... This was probably a
bad idea since "Colonialism" has connotations of exploitation and
conquest, but hey--when I make an arbitrary rule, I stick to it
goddamn it. Speaking of names, my garbage disposal is called the
"In-sink-erator". My Indian name is "Rigid Oak"--and my spirit
animal is the Great Canadian Kodiak Marmoset. If we get to know
each other, I'll tell you my real name, but keep in mind that I'm
looking into changing it to "AAA" so I can claim to be the world's
best arcade gamer.
I've been to IKEA. The macaroni and cheese was great, but something
about how the place is designed to herd people around and the way
that they pipe in upbeat remixes of popular songs just weirds me
out a bit.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a software jockey. Slingin' code on the street corner. Gotta
push that product. I'll sell you this STL comparison predicate for
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
remembering the most obscure never-gonna-need-this facts... and
then actually needing them in trivia games.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Barbers regularly express their frustration about my incredibly
thick hair. If I like you, I'll let you pat my fluffy hair for good
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
As far as fiction goes, I love sci-fi... but it makes my teeth itch
whenever I see inaccuracies. Our robot overlords use humans as
I hate pickles. Why would you eat something that smells like a
, Frank Herbert
, Robert Heinlein
, Smut Peddlers
, Ugly Duckling
, Cesar Comanche
, Brand Nubian
A Space Odyssey
, The Right Stuff
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
Ghost Dog: The
Way of the Samurai
, The Walking Dead
, The X-Files
, Fullmetal Alchemist
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
weekends, ear plugs, maps, the whole collective knowledge of the
entirety of humanity (i.e. Wikipedia), a wallet that holds coins,
A powerful fan whenever I'm sleeping! The white noise is the most
important part, but I also dig the airflow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My thinking time is divided up thusly:
50% how to look like I'm being productive
30% having imaginary arguments that I win
19% why the world's borders are the way they are
1% making sure my percents add up to 100
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
carousing, cavorting, capering, galavanting, and generally enjoying
my life as an homme vivant and general man-about-town
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- your user name contains a pun (Where are you, ClarkCunt?)
- you describe yourself as something other than "simple"
- your "The first things people usually notice about me" isn't
something completely superficial
- you believe that vikings beat pirates and ninjas any day of the
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.