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26 Kansas City, MO Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 12:01pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Doesn’t have kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I picked my username by going to This was probably a bad idea since "Colonialism" has connotations of exploitation and conquest, but hey--when I make an arbitrary rule, I stick to it goddamn it. Speaking of names, my garbage disposal is called the "In-sink-erator". My Indian name is "Rigid Oak"--and my spirit animal is the Great Canadian Kodiak Marmoset. If we get to know each other, I'll tell you my real name, but keep in mind that I'm looking into changing it to "AAA" so I can claim to be the world's best arcade gamer.

I've been to IKEA. The macaroni and cheese was alright, but something about how the place is designed to herd people around and the way that they pipe in upbeat remixes of popular songs just weirds me out a bit.

My Myers–Briggs personality type is BAMF.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a software jockey. Slingin' code on the street corner. Gotta push that product. I'll sell you this STL comparison predicate for five bucks...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
remembering the most obscure never-gonna-need-this facts... and then actually needing them in trivia games.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Barbers regularly express their frustration about my incredibly thick hair. If I like you, I'll let you pat my fluffy hair for good luck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
As far as fiction goes, I love sci-fi... but it makes my teeth itch whenever I see inaccuracies. Our robot overlords use humans as batteries? What?

I hate pickles. Why would you eat something that smells like a swimming pool?

Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Frank Herbert, Robert Heinlein

Atmosphere, Cage, Edan, Supernatural, Smut Peddlers, Snowgoons, Immortal Technique, Ugly Duckling, CunninLynguists, Cesar Comanche, Wade Waters, Dilated Peoples, Brand Nubian

2001: A Space Odyssey, The Right Stuff, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Blade Runner, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai

The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Farscape, The Walking Dead, Parks and Recreation, The X-Files, Fullmetal Alchemist
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
weekends, ear plugs, maps, the whole collective knowledge of the entirety of humanity (i.e. Wikipedia), a wallet that holds coins, and...

A powerful fan whenever I'm sleeping! The white noise is the most important part, but I also dig the airflow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My thinking time is divided up thusly:
50% how to look like I'm being productive
30% having imaginary arguments that I win
19% why the world's borders are the way they are
1% making sure my percents add up to 100
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
carousing, cavorting, capering, galavanting, and generally enjoying my life as an homme vivant and general man-about-town
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- your user name contains a pun (Where are you, ClarkCunt?)
- you describe yourself as something other than "simple"
- your "The first things people usually notice about me" isn't something completely superficial
- you believe that vikings beat pirates and ninjas any day of the week