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30 Somerville, MA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:10am
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I just reactivated this! I'll take time to shake the cobwebs off at some point.

I'm an enthusiastic, incorrigible geek with the vocal delivery of a radio broadcaster, a fondness for the light-hearted and whimsical, and a cooking/baking streak that occasionally comes out in force. My feats of daring include the simultaneous preparation of delicious meaty and meat-free lasagnas without contaminating one with the other, bookkeeping communal groceries for a household without any hard feelings (mostly), and regrettably not living with xocotl (former OkC user and friend of mine who got married to the lovely and also former OkC user copperdragon and moved off to Austin on me D: )!

I am collected, spirited, and probably disappointed that you've turned your IM off.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to hammer my day job into something I like again.

Researching the shell companies of Boston's criminal underworld to see who's tied to what business that may or may not involve trafficked persons, and telling Polaris in DC all about it. Long story behind that one, having to do with working in a massage spa in Quincy only to have a parlor move in upstairs.

Doing a lot of reading on rules of all kinds, legal, pen-and-paper/tabletop, so on and so forth. Catching up on birthday-gifted massages to friends like it's my job (because it is!).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being verbose, sometimes clumsily so (my mouth is not as fast as my brain, see, and sometimes my tongue trips over itself and then I'm just an avalanche of words). Getting napped on by cats and licked to death by dogs. Helping you bake delicious vittles. Making your coracoid tendon cluster and trapezius release, at least if you're comfortable with that. Picking up miscellaneous skills via observation (the latest: amateur plumbing).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My face! In a good way, though. Some people say my scar or eyes, others say how animated my facial expressions can be and how they're almost always indicative of my mood. My hair's also been getting a lot of attention lately, which is new (it is not usually short).

Alternatively, that they are sorry about that pesky dying thing, at least until I explain why I shouldn't autograph their containers of OxiClean or Mighty Putty.

Also, good hands, handshakes, hugs, and, uh, an intense resting facial expression apparently.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ha, I paint in broad strokes. Hope you like lists!

Music: First and foremost, post-rock! Maserati, 65daysofstatic, Mogwai, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, This Will Destroy You, etc. Outside of post-rock, there's Xploding Plastix, Mike Doughty and Soul Coughing, Massive Attack, the Gorillaz, the Eels, almost anything Chris Cornell* has ever done but especially Audioslave, Garbage, the Heavy, the Minibosses, Cake, Guster, Fiona Apple, Bush, Tracy Bonham, Blue Man Group, They Might Be Giants, Jonathan Coulton, Richard Cheese, the Decemberists, She, Portishead, Yoko Kanno, Akira Yamaoka, and so on. Getting into Daft Punk, Metric, and Pentatonix.

* That said, Scream is easily one of the most embarassing albums I've ever forced myself to listen to.

Books: Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Mark Danielewski, Warren Ellis, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Matt Fraction, Max Brooks, Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Azuma Kiyohiko....

Movies: Stuff by Frank Darabont, the Coen Brothers, David Cronenberg, Phil Lord & Christopher Miller, Wes Anderson, Mel Brooks, Guy Ritchie, Christopher Nolan (dude needs to tighten up his plots though, there was some goofy stuff in his Batman flicks), David Fincher, Tim Burton, Hayao Miyazaki, Luc Besson, Edgar Wright, Terry Gilliam....

Teevee: Game of Thrones, Scrubs, Archer, Futurama, Arrested Development (not caught up with the new season yet!), Twin Peaks, American Horror Story (definition of guilty pleasure), Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and any of Comedy Central's news entertainment, Spin City, Mythbusters.... Also, you can put Mike Rowe or Morgan Spurlock in anything and I will probably watch it.

Food: I'm a sucker for most things cheesy or minty, and my favored seasonings include garlic salt and chili powder. Sweet potatoes are good. Smoked salmon is better. Pita chips are BEST.

Vidja Games: Psychonauts, the Silent Hill, Fallout and Mass Effect series (I am the most compulsively paragon Shepard), System Shock 2, Bioshock, Portal, Katamari Damacy, Earthbound, Borderlands (Brick, Gaige, then Wilhelm), The Stanley Parable, and a number of things that involve ambulatory corpses that hunger for my well-developed and incredibly delectable sweetbreads.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Uncertainty. Affection. Portable data storage. Light. Complete human bodies (if you are a weird flesh fractal composed solely of arms and legs, I know it's shallow but I'm just not interested sorry). Any given combination of Oreos, mint, and/or vanilla ice cream.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How many photos there are in the world that have me in them, whether they're candids of me in a subway or I'm just strolling by in the background as friends take photos of each other. How to be self-sufficient on the cheap, complete with hydroelectric or wind powering my home and a small farm with lots of cuddly, adorable, delicious rabbits. What'd I'd do with various superpowers at my disposal (my current fancies include Madrox-style self-duplication and instant book memorization). The things I'm going to teach my nephew and niece when my sister finally moves back to Worcester from Virginia.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Recharging. The rest of my week tends to be busy, so it's nice to decompress some.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a terrible, terrible, terrible liar. When I was younger, there'd be occasion where I'd do something stupid (like you do). When people asked me why I did the stupid thing and I gave an honest answer, I'd never hear the end of it. EVER. So it became a knee-jerk reaction to lie about the dumb mistakes. Thing is, these lies are MORE stupid and transparent than the original stupid. It's a bad habit I'm still trying to break. :\

Oh, also I've been called a "cuddleglutton" at least once.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
This bit's long. Please bear with me.

Picture yourself walking into a bar. It's packed wall-to-wall with guys, and they all notice you come in at once. You're buffeted with a chorus of "hi," "hey sexy," "you seem interesting, let's chat," and other quick lines that seem rehearsed and bored. When that fails to catch your attention, no small number of folks try their line of choice again, sounding like a rather niche and inept a capella group that shouldn't have left their metrinome at home. Some well-maintained dudes strip shirtless and start flexing, others were stark naked to begin with and have been wildly gyrating at you since you got there. A few tell you how they'd "like to make you come" with lurid descriptions of your body that manage to let you know they've not so much as held an anatomy textbook and also wouldn't give a damn about your erogenous zones even if they knew where they were. One guy presents you with "flight tickets" hastily scribbled onto a set of bar napkins, and invites you to "his villa" in the Keys while insisting that he knows how to treat women right. If you're black, maybe one uncannily handsome white guy leers and gestures at you with a noose he happened to bring along (I recommend pointing that fucker out to the bouncer standing at the door, avoid using mace in such tightly-packed close quarters please). Some plead, some bargain, some threaten, some shoot you sad lonely doe eyes from across the room, and not a single one of them will leave you alone.

Despite their best efforts you make your way to the bar amongst this sea of jackasses. You're having a little difficulty ordering a drink, what with everybody vying for your attention at once. At least there're some folks in the middle of the riot who seem polite, interesting, and well-intentioned enough who're just trying to be friendly. Somehow one of them strikes up a conversation with you, even discussing similar interests and everything. You're funny, you're laughing, it's a good time. It's difficult to keep track of his conversation in the unrelenting morass though, and what's worse is that no one seems to be paying attention to each other. Not even the dashingly handsome, flippantly charming gentleman speaking with you seems to notice that everyone in the joint's trying to talk with you at once. Somewhere between the pick-up artist in the fun-sized fedora and the 9th unsolicited dong you've seen in the past week, you suddenly realize that there is nothing worth this hassle and you might as well curl up with some Ben & Jerry's and that show up on Netflix you've been meaning to watch. Absolutely fed up you storm your way out, asking yourself why you keep coming back to this place all the while.

Got that squared? Good! Now picture me going to the same bar.

It's dimly-lit, not crowded, there's no line in front of the restroom, it's nice. After getting a drink or two in and spending some time with the pinball machine, I walk up to a woman and strike up conversation. She seems distracted by something I can't put my finger on, but that's okay. We're funny, we're laughing, it's a good time. Just when I'm about to ask her out for a bite to eat at this tapas place I've been meaning to try, she stops talking to me apropos of apparently nothing and leaves the bar. I end up feeling confused and a little bummed, but resolve to keep trying. Until then, I should probably call it a night, head home, scoop out a bowl of Edy's, and continue catching up on Burn Notice or my horror movie queue or something.

This is what dating on OkCupid is like for reasonable people, and the fact that it resembles standard non-online dating (and that this is what dating looks like in the first place) is hilarious and depressing at the same time. That said, if you're grinning a little and aren't sure you were doing that before you started reading, or if you just want to split some Haagen-Dasz, you should message me. Extra points if you like Caramel Cone or Mint Chip, and if you bait me appropriately I might ask you out on the spot. :D