Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, mildly ambivalent user. You've stumbled upon my OKCupid
profile, you lucky devil.
I'm a filthy, cheap jerk who thinks he's better (read: smarter,
more cultured) than you, but doesn't know shit about anything, is
not at all likely to go anywhere or do anything with you (because
really, who likes fun?), can never find his car keys, is a complete
materialist seeing no other benefits to be gained out of life than
what you can own, will probably tell your parents about our sexual
exploits in lurid detail, has no desire to better his life in any
capacity, is as safe a bet as licking a subway seat, and who has a
distinct and expansive collection of compartmentalized trust
I just saved you reading what this site thinks my personality is
like, I'm sure you'd find I'm not that bad if you talk to me.
I was told this was too cynical to open up with. It's supposed to
be a joke, but I guess it's not implied as such? I'm still leaving
it because I enjoyed writing it. If you enjoyed reading it, keep
reading because I wrote a whole bunch of shit for some
I'd like to express that I always hate having to describe myself.
Its hard to describe amicable qualities without sounding like I'm
full of myself. That aside, I'm smart, funny, and talented. I'm
also sometimes cold, a smart ass, and unmotivated, but I can say
that because I'm honest. I think most people like me when they get
to know me. I am a pro at hanging out and shooting the shit.
This site depresses me. All my best matches live more than 50 miles
away. If it seems like we'd be into each other and I haven't
messaged you, that's probably why. Rest assured though, I probably
clicked your picture because I thought you looked pretty, or
interesting, or at least like someone I know in real life.
I also changed my religion in the details to the "default" option,
because atheism is not a religion.
My Myers-Briggs type is INTP. Heavy on the I and T. Apparently the
one on here says I'm INTJ.
You'll probably get a pretty good impression of me if you read my
explanations of the questions.
I'm surprised I never mentioned hiking once on this profile. I love
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not really taking this too
seriously. It'd be nice to meet someone, but I'm not holding my
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm working on multiple projects with other musicians, writers,
etc. and a few of my own.
Someone told me to talk about my shitty day job here, I'm not
talking about my shitty day job. I will just say I'm making
splendid use of my masters degree in the cardboard box arts.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I pride myself as a conversationalist and a craftsman. And a
huntsman. And a walkman.
Not really, but I do enjoy talking and I can build stuff.
It was suggested to me that I add here that I can cook. Not
professional chef grade, but I can cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If I'm lucky, my perdy eyeballs. But usually my unruly hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'll just say comic books, the ones where stuff blows up,
instrumental hip hop and pizza. Its easier than writing a massive
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Food, water, clothing, shelter, rain every now and then, and
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How they make tape. Its amazing!
I spend a lot of time thinking about fixes for the worlds problems.
And I mean like plans of action for least impact on human life and
the ecosystem. I feel like if I had any sway over any of it I could
make a difference. But I don't, so I can't! I also spend a lot of
time thinking about our place in the cosmos, it makes me feel both
insignificant and more connected to it all.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I prefer hanging out with friends over going out. I'll go if you
really want to, but I usually would rather not. Unless of course I
feel like it would be something fun, then I'd give it a shot.
Sometimes I just like to stay in by myself, maybe get a little work
done at home, get some reading in, stargazing, etc.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd totally host a talk show given the opportunity.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you're still reading this profile. I'm sure I've chased away
most of you by now. But wait, there's more!
I'm not very partial to people who pass judgement without actually
saying a single word to someone. If you've already flashed a retort
to that in your mind, you've definitely wasted your time reading
If you think its cute to be obnoxious, selfish, generally
disrespectful of others, or classify yourself as a "bitch", we're
probably not a good fit. I should, however, point out that I'm
perfectly comfortable with someone who's frank in their honesty,
has a penchant for tactful sprinklings of sarcasm and doesn't mind
expressing themselves. There are differences between the behaviors
I've outlined, I'd like to meet someone who understands that.
Even if you aren't my "perfect match", I'll probably still respond
if you send me a message; I'm not a complete asshole.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.