Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Um...hey. If you've attempted to contact me after about August 2014
and I haven't gotten back to you, it's because I haven't checked
this shit since then. Today is February 1st, 2015. Oops.
At first, my asshole friends shamed me into making this. Then I
just kind of ran with it.
I live in DC, but I'm in Pittsburgh for school. I hate writing
things about myself. Message me if you want to know something
I judge you based on your grammar. Animals > most people I know.
Kickboxing and paintballing are some of my favorite things. I guess
that's it. Oh and I want Riff Raff to play at my wedding.
Just kidding, here's a little more -
Because you people all have the same
-Backstory: See above. I was bullied into making this by people who
all had one.
-No, my username is not a reference to something. I'm not a
communist, Jesus fuck. It was my old Reddit username before I
deleted that account and made a new one. That said, if someone has
CommunistTrees as a Reddit name, it's not me.
-I hate Pittsburgh as a city and only came to the University of
Pittsburgh because they're one of the very few schools that offer
Neuroscience as an undergraduate major. Why the hate? Because it's
too fucking gray and boring and the "downtown" area is nothing but
corporate shit and everything closes at like 6 pm and Steelers fans
are the fucking worst.
-I'm not really taking any of this seriously. Although I'm not
opposed to a potential something that could come of this.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: I have an Instagram because fuck privacy or
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Neuroscience & Studio Arts double major, Chemistry minor. EMT.
University of Pittsburgh 2016
The science-y shit is my MO, but here's a taste of the artsy side
from a couple years ago:
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I always look angry when I'm not paying attention. Also people
notice I'm a girl.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: anything David Sedaris, Chuck Palahniuk, or
The Social Animal (probably my favorite ever)
All the King's Men
Never Let Me Go
The Kite Runner
The Invisible Gorilla
The Great Gatsby
The Trouble With Testosterone
This Is a Book
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Textbooks have been my main source of literature for a while now,
so I don't have a whole lot of time to read for funsies
Movies: Wedding Crashers
The Devil's Double
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Boondock Saints
V for Vendetta
A Beautiful Mind
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The Pursuit of Happyness
The Bourne trilogy
The Shawshank Redemption
Catch Me If You Can
Shaun of the Dead
Crazy, Stupid, Love
All the Batman shit
Seven WHAT'S IN THE BOX
The Silence of the Lambs
Little Miss Sunshine
The Gods Must Be Crazy
The Darjeeling Limited
Requiem for a Dream
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Good Will Hunting
The Wolf of Wall Street
and Mean Girls because a) I think I'm supposed to and b) your other
option is to be a liar, so take your pick
FOOOOD: Your ass had better not be picky. I'll
cook the shit out of a meal for you. I eat pretty fucking healthily
aside from my candy addiction. I recently started making my own
food and stopped supporting those punk bitches at Chipotle. I'll
grill some fucking veggies for your ass and show you a whole new
world, Aladdin style. Oh, did you think grills were for meat only?
That’s the kind of narrow-ass minded thinking that makes you
believe there is any nutrition in a fucking hot dog. Get yo
lycopene on, fools. What was the last thing you made yourself? A
pickle and ketchup sandwich? Fuck you.
Musica: Pretty much anything except for ignorant
rap. The Real Slim Shady was the first (real) song I learned all
the words to. Do with that what you will.
I guess it depends on what I'm doing. Classical music for dinner or
long drives when I'm stuck in East Bejesus, Ohio, or studying (or
my Deadmau5 Pandora station for learning science-y shit), TED talks
while I paint (not really music, whatever), NPR while cooking
dinner, embarrassing 90's jam session playlist for cleaning the
house, my Frank Sinatra Pandora station for having people over
(classy dinners and keggers both), and my emo middle school
playlist when I work out. I guess that about sums it up.
Shows: Arrested Development
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Spongebob (only like the first 2 or 3 seasons)
Rick and Morty
Freaks and Geeks
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
House of Cards
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Trailer Park Boys
Science & nature documentaries because I'm a huge dweeb
Some embarrassing vagina shows I'm not going to mention
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This is just as bad as asking me what my favorite color is
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either drinking with friends or studying
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well this is the creepiest thing I've ever exposed myself to. Good
job, me. Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus.
That wasn't private at all because fuck you.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're remotely interested and have a sharp sense of humor. And if
you don't chew with your mouth open. Seriously, I will punch you in
the neck. Cut that shit out.
And don't use "ur" or "u" if you're going to strike up a
conversation. Talk to me like we're not 12 year olds in a fucking
chat room for the first time.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.