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34 Miami, FL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 28-43
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:02am
Hispanic / Latin, White
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Average build
Catholicism and laughing about it
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Dating in Miami is awful. I'm sure dating sucks no matter where you live, but Miami dating is its own special brand of bullshit.

Miamians are a flaky, superficial bunch -- there's a reason the Kardashians filmed a show here. A friend who moved here from Texas told me "Dating is hell here." But she didn't have it nearly as bad because she's straight.

The gays in Miami are particularly bad. If they're not at Twist every weeknight and then at [insert other sleazy gay club name here because I don't know any other ones] every weekend getting drunk or high, they are (in their simple minds) not living life to the fullest. Trying to find substance in the gay dating scene here is like looking for actual reality in reality television.

But while my dating experiences here may have left me a bit (ha!) cynical and jaded, it's not all gloom-and-doom... yet. And so here I am. Hoping to find another gay guy in Miami who detests the whole scene as much as I do. Or at the very least, someone who can't relate to the scenarios I described above.

Obviously I am not your typical Miamian. And probably even more obviously, I'm not your typical gay guy. And I'm proud of both those things. I am a smart, funny, non-scene guy looking for similar guys for dating and a potential relationship.

Here are some random factoids about me, in case you're still reading for some reason:

- I talk to myself. Out loud. At length. Often.

- It drives me crazy that when people pick up a "full" cup of something on TV and in movies, it is distractingly obvious that there is absolutely nothing inside the cup.

- Hipsters. Why?

- I'm a hardcore gamer. It's my form of stress relief.

- I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts or aliens, but I still get scared that either of them will visit me in the middle of the night.

- I don't understand tea. It's nothing but dirty water.

- Green beans are the devil.

- I love, love, love Unsolved Mysteries. The original series with Robert Stack, not the crappy new version with that B-movie actor guy on it.

After several experiences, I've learned that I am not interested in the following:
- hipsters
- extreme liberals
- hippies
- yogis
- vegetarians, vegans, fruitarians, etc.
- all-weekend/every-weekend club/bar/party-goers
- hipsters (yes, twice)
- "artsy" types
- life coaches, whatever that is
- "new age" types
- guys who wear capri pants

So why am I on this site? Well, if my rant at the beginning of this epic wasn't clear enough, I'm here because I'm not going to find the type of guy I'm interested in at a club or bar. First, because I do not go to clubs or bars. Second, because the type of guy I'm interested in doesn't go to them either. Unfortunately, that cuts my chances of meeting someone in my regular social circles by about 97%. So I figure maybe the type of guy I'm interested in came here for the same reasons I did.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a technical writer for a global fuel broker.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- sleeping
- eating peanut butter
- correcting spelling and grammar
- making people laugh
- coming up with excuses to not work out today
- being inappropriate and/or awkward in most situations
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by Neil Gaiman or Raymond Carver. Tina Fey's "Bossypants" is hysterical. Harry Potter, of course.

Movies: Lost in Translation, and most horror movies.

TV: Once Upon a Time, Family Guy, American Dad, Bob's Burgers, Modern Family, Downton Abbey, The Mindy Project, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- plastic straws
- lip balm
- air conditioning
- Reese's Pieces
- video games
- my car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When's lunch?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm very much a homebody, so most likely home reading, catching up on TV shows/movies or playing video games after a run. I also like to go out for dinner with my brother so we can talk about our weeks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Ace of Base. Lots and lots of Ace of Base.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You laughed at anything in my profile and would like to laugh some more; you don't identify with the stereotypical gay scene; you can think of better ways to spend your weekends than at a club or bar.