I know that most of you are reading these and thinking to yourself, "Come on... are all these guys really writing all of this bullshit!?" Yes, they are. I really do feel for you women sometimes. Between all these "protein induced meat photos" and the ghetto vernacular, I'm sure it's hard to stomach these profiles hoping that you find the diamond in the rough. Well guess what... IT'S ME!! I'm confident, eloquent, attractive, charming, respectful, and I'm probably one of the funniest ball busters you'll ever meet.
In turn, I'm quite picky. I want the whole package. I want a woman who's beautiful inside and out. I don't expect a magazine model who's president of the local Mensa chapter, but I expect you to have your act together. There's more to attraction than physical desire, but that's an important start for anyone that I may consider to be a romantic partner.
Turn offs: Empty minds, void of laughter, and gold diggers. Excessive use of the word "like" 4 times per sentence also is quite annoying. People who are 4'5", 350 lbs and tell me how bad smoking is for my health. Tricked out Honda Civics with lawn mower exhausts also bother me for some reason. If you have photos with duck lips as a serious pose, please stop reading now and write to a shirtless guy in front of a dirty mirror. Seriously dudes... bust out some Windex before attempting your master flex. Or just stop showing off the spray tan and leave the nice girls alone.
On a more serious note... if you have any aspirations of joining a law enforcement agency, I'm all set. I'm not a criminal or evil doer, but I have no desire to be with anyone who desires to be involved with 'the code of blue'. I believe in equal treatment and civil rights. I won't be with someone who enjoys intimidation and the use of force to pay their own salary. I'm sorry high school was tough on you.
Turn ons: awesome sharp wit, someone who's not afraid to spruce themselves up a bit (when the occasion calls for it) without wearing 2 inches of make up, independent, confident, and SINGLE. I will not engage in any of your extramarital affairs. Find one of the guys who's showing off his junk if that's what you're after. I also require someone with emotional maturity and honesty. I'm somewhat hesitant to date a woman that is significantly younger than me. If you truly think that you're wise beyond your years, then it's something I will consider. I date WOMEN, not GIRLS. However, I do have one obvious and shallow physical preference. I'm really attracted to busty women. I prefer some curves on a woman as opposed to someone who looks like a heroine addict. A little extra is perfectly fine by me, but I'm not really into BBW's. I'm also really into spooning/cuddling, and yes I can do that with manners and class. There's nothing like a little bit of a cuddlefest, waking up next to a pretty face after a night of fun.
These are not must haves, just preferences. If you fit some of the above, then drop me a line and take it from there. If you've gotten this far, I'm going to assume your attention span is running out. Congrats if this was accomplished without medication. If you needed medication, that's still okay by me. I won't ask you to share either.