Poet – In my heart, I am a poet. Now, that seems a bit…generic…but suffice it to say, I love to write. If I could retire today…I can’t but let’s say that I could…I would write…a lot! Now, depending on who you ask, my stuff is amazing or complete crap. Regarding the former, thank you! The latter, well, I am an amateur! But, this is a sample of what I write:
The water flows down
Over worn rocks and fauna
Foam and peaceful bliss
The water swirls and cascades over the ridge
With briskness in the air, it speaks of natures hidden desires;
For balance, cleansing renewal and extinguished fires
Of life’s trials and tribulations, a sanctuary for all, the gap has a bridge.
For while the water may be murky, dirty, cold and surrounded by midge
The affect of the descent from brook to fall, winding like a weaving of wires;
Has created a illusionary dichotomy of cold to warm, activity from the mires
A brilliance of sight and sound, a formation of a musical bridge.
The waterfall appeared with a sudden sight
Of a huge drop, and a last minute fight.
The old man did not notice it time,
As he showed off his physique, not a bit sublime
But when he fell on his ass
The maiden’s laugh was crass.
“Oh, silly man, I only want a mate
Who has eyes that look straight!”
Okay, not Nobel Laureate material, but it was written off the cuff!
Alpha Male – Okay, this is a delicate one. I am a “Man’s Man”….but still a Gentleman. This means that I am strong and capable, professional and intelligent, responsible and steady. But, I am also thoughtful, insightful, compassionate and romantic. I am going to cut this one short, because I feel like I am bragging and that isn’t me. Suffice it to say, I am the masculine counterpart of my feminine partner. And yes, I seek a partner!
Humorous – Okay, now this is really subjective. I am quick with a joke, but I HATE jokes that are mean-spirited. However, I like jokes that are “plays on words”, simply humorous situations (where no one is the butt of the joke, specifically) and sight gags. As an example…
A Mushroom walks into a bar and starts buying drinks for everyone. Big party, everyone is happy. Eventually, someone leans over and says to the mushroom, "You’re a fungi to have around!”
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. 'So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.
So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.
By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
As he walks away slowly, he says to himself . . . "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
Like I said, subjective!
Okay, so I am easy-going, professional, enjoys music, culture and outdoors. Me. In a nutshell.