Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m a short fat fur ball with a comb over that compliments my savvy
fashion sense. My game controller keeps my body in shape and my
mind sharp. I hate my job cleaning toilets at McDonald's, but I
won't go hungry. I recently worked up the gumption to leave the
abusive relationship I was in. I traded bruises for loneliness...
I'm not sure it was a fair trade. Now she beats on my former best
friend... lucky bastard. I’m miserable, and if I could afford a gun
I would shoot myself… hmmm… maybe if I didn't spend all my money on
booze, gambling, and prostitutes I could afford a gun… nah, that
wouldn't work cause my mom would bitch-slap me with it when I
brought it home. Did I mention that I have the sense of humor of a
toilet brush? I'm desperate… please, won't some needy woman take
pity on me. Mom says I'm pathetic, small minded, and smelly.
I have blue collar roots that have branched out into more
intellectual pursuits. I’m grounded in the golden rule and reaching
for the sun with creativity, versatility, and an open mind. The
products I design are seeds that I offer the world. I discriminate
against few activities or points of view… discovery is important.
I'm well traveled, preferring the path less beaten. I'm open,
honest, and not afraid to speak my mind... and usually do. I don’t
take unreasonable risks, although my definition of unreasonable is
more liberal than most. I’m analytical, which can be misconstrued
as arrogance, but in reality I'm just Scandinavian. I’m objective
and can admit when I’m wrong… untrue, I’m actually subjective and
stubborn. ;~ ) The careful listener will catch my wit, which is on
the dry side and often has deeper meaning. I’d much rather show and
learn by doing than dictate a laundry list of traits, attributes,
Ultimately, I'd like to find someone I feel like I've always known.
Someone who wants to know me and accepts me for who I truly am.
Someone who appreciates the special place I've reserved for her in
my life. Someone who I'd rather not live without. And most
importantly, someone who doesn't fart too much. That being said,
life, and love, is a journey, not a destination and I intend to
enjoy everyone who crosses my path... and I mean that in the
~ The only constant in the universe is change.
~ You can't learn anything if you already know it all.
~ Chemistry is a recipe written with no ink... you know it's right
when you taste it.
~ There are two sides to every fried egg... and each happens to be
nourishing. I prefer mine over easy. It's ok if they're a little
crispy here and there, but never burnt or overdone. A gushing yoke
is a very good thing.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
~ Defying definition
~ Riding motorcycles
~ Designing products
~ Practicing concinnity
~ Fostering special memories
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
~ combing my hair
~ pulling all nighters
~ selecting the shortest line
~ remembering images/shapes
~ finding the killer parking spot
~ using my hands and things that fit in them
~ being above average at most things that I put my mind to
~ admitting that I'm flawed just like everyone else on this big
blue speck of cosmic dust.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The obvious answer is my height, but just because you look down on
me doesn't mean I'll let you walk all over me... unless you have a
recent pedicure... and stilettos. I challenge. I'm tactile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors: Hemingway, Clive Cussler, Pat Conroy, Cormac McCarthy,
Robert Ludlum, John Grisham... off the top of my head. I don't fill
my head with info like this... or sports stats.
Film: Harold and Maude, Juno, Laurence of Arabia, Twelve Men, The
English Patient, Being There, Alien, Saving Private Ryan, The Cider
House Rules, The Incredibles, Fargo, Blade Runner, Raising Arizona,
Brazil, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Fall, American Beauty, Rear
Window, District 9, Bringing Up Baby, Baraka, The Warriors
Music: Pretty much anything except most Rap and Country. I'm not so
fond of Polka or show tunes either, but every genera has it place
and merits. My collection of 7,342 tracks is eclectic.
Food: I'm an omnivore. Spicy and ethnic are tasty... and I have
regular cravings for sushi or a good burger... and an IPA.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Besides Maslow's pyramid and the obvious:
~ coy smiles
~ a box of tools
~ boundaries to push
~ my Monument Black toilet plunger. :~ )
The six things I could always do without
~ a dead battery
~ sour and/or spilt milk
~ half empty glasses of anything
~ people who insist on clogging the fast lane
~ not getting a reply from women that I message
~ seeing recyclables in the trash can next to the recycle can
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how bad I am at thinking, which, for some reason, always seems to
end in confusion. :~ )
I once thought about the paradox: Can god create a boulder he can't
lift? I was really losing sleep over it. One day, while buttering
my toast, the answer hit me. The epiphany was glorious. God doesn't
exist. I lose sleep over more important things now.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
probably doing the same kind of things you are.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I eat ice cream with a fork.
I don't identify as being kinky... I'm not vanilla either. I'm an
explorer; you should be too, or at least be willing to be my
When crafting a message I feel like I'm approaching a woman at a
bar. I envision all the drinks and empty glasses piled around her
and know more are being offered. My drink, as good as it may be, is
just one of many. It makes me feel cheap and common... and I'm not.
As a consequence, even though I'm not shy and there are many
desirable women here, I don't send out many messages.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
~ you tend to show more than tell.
~ you're on the kinky side of vanilla.
~ you're tired of the usual posturing.
~ you can handle a guy who's 6'4" 205lbs.
~ you're not afraid of, and prefer, honesty.
~ you're artsy, open minded, and free spirited.
~ you don't allow society to dictate your actions.
~ you're feisty and can take as good as you give.
~ you're local to San Francisco... within 5-10 miles.
~ you're unconventional, but don't need to broadcast it.
~ we're at least a 80% match. And yes, I read answers.
~ you like full-length mirrors, but not obsessed with them.
~ you see the value in taking risks... and aren't afraid too.
~ you have something interesting or clever to say...
~ you're sex positive and understand that that has nothing to do
~ you're attractive and fit with access to accurate images
that clearly reveal your frame. I'm not looking for
perfection, but we should appear to be a good fit.
I mainly just poke around on here and maintain some friendships
I've developed. I'm not shy, but sending out messages is largely a
crap shoot. I'd rather save the time and effort for someone who
wants it... so you should contact me if you're interested.
I'm selective and not interested in random hook
ups. I'm here for face to face interaction not endless
message strings. I don't double dip messages and I won't send you a
message if I'm outside your preferences. My age preferences are
just that... I may go younger, but I'm not likely to go much
higher. I gauge your interest on the effort you put into your
messages... just as you would expect from me. I reply to everyone
who takes the time and effort to contact me... I believe in the
golden rule and karma. Besides, it's the right thing to do.
May you find and live your desires... enjoy!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.