I just got my hair cut. It was past shoulder length, and is now pretty dang short. I did it just in time for Halloween. It was a combination of considering getting a haircut, and enjoying "Don't mess with the Zohan" (watch it... it's hilarious!). So.. I bought the DVD, took the box cover to the salon, and said "Let's do this" - I bought a goatee from the shop today, and will borrow a hair dryer. That's my costume this year... the Zohan. Being Israeli, I reallllly enjoyed that film. Since I've gotten my hair cut, I've had 3 people tell me I look 10 years younger, so it can't be all that bad.

I'm stoked! I was @ my neighbor's place today, and we were talking about this movie, "Don't mess with the Zohan" (it's the funniest movie ever... silly.. but a great flick!) and then his girl told me that a mutual friend had asked her to invite me to their November 1st Halloween party. Sweet! So... Friday night, and Saturday night.... or at least I have a choice if I want to work on Friday.... great... but I haven't thought of a costume. "Dude! You're Israeli, you're buff... go as Zohan!" "Dude! I'm going as Zohan!" I was just talking about perhaps cutting my hair (which is getting pretty long now) so she said since I was going to cut it somewhat anyways.. might as well get "The Avalon"


Now go rent that movie, and laugh your ass off! And come back to my profile after Halloween to see the pictures.

The 1st 1,500 questions were mildly entertaining... "Oh sure I like them, they make you learn about yourself, by defining your stance on things you don't think about often... like life support, or beliefs in bigfoot, and how important it is that your mate love bigfoot!" --- I think by question 1,600 (and maybe it's just a mood thing), they're starting to not only repeat themselves (sometimes quite literally- the same question comes up... other times it seems people were just too lazy to go through the "Is your question similar to any of these" section-- I mean, I had 2 different questions about if girls with a shaved head are hot/gross/indifferent -- in a space of 30 questions.), but are starting to get pointless. I'm putting "irrelevant" on many more than at 1st, and the thing that gets me is that a lot of them are so black and white! "Would you consider dating someone with dentures?" [yes/no] what about your ideal match? ok... well.. what if I'm dating them, and they don't have dentures, but we go on a motorcycle ride, get run over by a car, and they restore us to normal.. but... since that car ran over our faces, some dentures had to be used to replace the teeth... would you keep dating them, or should they keep dating you? Now THAT is less black and white, don't you think? But I can apply that same logic (not getting run over by a car... just the obvious lack of flexibility in all these questions) to any question on here. Maybe that's my ENTP coming through... devil's advocate, possibilities... and perhaps fear of commitment? But is it a fear of commitment, or are the questions just ________ (insert crass word here)?

If you're a photo-nerd like myself (I'll have to form a new word that combines Photographer + Model + Goofball + Photo-Editor... PhoMofbator (yeah yeah.. you sickos are already thinking of other words that end in bator) ?)then you probably are feeling claustrophobic at the mere thought of being constrained to only 10 photos! I mean... when you've got so many goofy pictures -- both staged, and spontaneous... Studio and Adventure... how can you pick a mere 10? Then there's the entertainment value. I don't care if a photo gets me more hits to my profile (and a good photo will... don't fool yourself with those shitty cell-phone pics... they're generic, grainy, and often poorly lit, and unflattering... even for you hotties! Try adding more light, or go make some friends with some photographers!) - I just want to make sure that my personality jumps off the page where the text didn't quite explain. I like to have fun. I like to make people laugh. I like shock value (though, it is over used, and often annoying) to some degree, and I'm an artist. I think a good photo should demonstrate who you are... not just show what you look like. But hey... I'm biased... I'm a PhoMofbator! But.. I will tell you that the profiles I respond best to are ones that show the person being themselves... smiling big, scuba diving, licking a puppy, eating an ice cream, skateboarding... whatever... showing the person being themselves doing their favorite activities in their usual clothing. That's life!

Whoops! Almost ended it there! I totally forgot-- the point I was (initially) making was that 10 photos is pretty weak, if you have an arsenal. So... If you know how to use photo manipulation / layout software (photoshop, or TheGimp (gimp.org -- it's free), or PaintShopPro, or Ulead stuff -- there's a ton of them), you can lay your images out in a panel (think comic strip, or even magazine page). Your main picture would have one image because okCupid has you "crop" to select the area that's displayed as your icon... but if they go to your pictures, they can see the other 3, 4, 5 ,6... 9 (how many are you trying to put? sheesh... even I get bored of doing this after a while) pictures that are on that ONE UPLOADED PHOTO. Technically, you can have 6 pictures fit pretty easily, and still be large enough to see... making a total of 60 photos on your profile. Sneaky, eh? The maximum resolution seems to be 400 (width) by 600 (height). I'm talking in pixels here folks. 400x600pixels.

Hope that helps anyone who's been pondering the photo issue.

I signed up here on the 6th of August. It was after signing up on Chemistry.com (which has since gotten a chargeback on my credit card), and the entire point was to "find someone". -- I was getting lonely, after 2 months of being single. I had been in a great relationship for a year, and it was the 1st girl to ever live with me. As far as "New and improved" goes, I did learn a lot from this relationship - listening to people, making others happy, learning to blow off work, some about compromise... the usual stuff you're supposed to learn. But... I did have this terrible period where daily I thought of her (You know... you never hear song lyrics, but then after a breakup every single song reminds you of your ex), and I felt bad for a lot of what happened. I'd have to say that I feel back to my old self now. I feel I can take over the world (or become a concert pianist). I blame it on 3 things. 1)Putting music on my Ipod instead of just audio books (I won't apologize for my love of learning), 2)I was already exercising.. but now I got a trainer, and I have really been blowing off a LOT of steam (to the point where I usually need a nap afterwards) at the gym, and (very important for feeling good) running through the woods. 3)Interacting with all you cool humans (and some questionable species as well) on okCupid.com. Truly... I think this place is therapeutic. I get some nice letters, I get those automated quckmatch things, I get to amuse myself by taking those quizzes, and gosh knows I have a tough time picking out which silly picture to make my main. I'm thinking it's time to post my bodypainted as a gargoyle photo :) Yup... it took 4 hours of getting painted, and the log I was standing on rolled over, and I fell into the water... all that work "Down the drain" (not really a pun intended).

I'm past my grieving period, and I feel frigging great about the future. I'm most certain that there is much success on many fronts coming very soon. I don't know why people write in their profile that they're in a slump, or that life sucks right now... that's not going to attract that many people- it's repulse them. I do truly expect great things-- and I think some of those adventures may be with some lovely okCupidian.

I took up piano lessons as one of those things to help me replace work, and I'm really kicking ass at it.

Screw it. I don't care if my personal info is on here. If someone really wants it, they can get it -- that, and I have nothing to hide. I'm a tiny bit of a ham, and a little bit egocentric -- how many people will tell you that up front? I'm also very caring, and really damn good at understanding people. When I plan a surprise, people cry (and I'm not talking about booby traps) 'cause it's usually very personal (so, they're good tears). I can cheer people up, I can (and often do) come up with very elaborate (or simple- if that's what it takes) solutions to solve my friends' personal or business problems. I'm semi-classy (and getting classier as I age), but I hold on to my childish nature-- enjoying crassness, adventure, adrenaline, and horrific groaner jokes (What do you call a cow that just had an abortion? Decalf!). I cringe at bad grammar. I like to laugh, I like to make other people laugh. I'm fit... I'm kind of like a big dog... they're cute on the couch, but are happiest running around in a field, playing fetch... and of course eating a nice steak.

I was a workaholic, but never realized it. I thought it was just my overwhelming love of learning. I can be found studying marketing, programming, psychology, writing, etc... on a daily basis. I love taking on projects that require learning to complete. Get paid to learn, right? When I discovered that work had sort of sabotaged my last relationship (which was quite good- I was just too busy working on pointless stuff to realize it), I took immediate steps against it, and have not had any problems since. I've taken up piano lessons, I'm in the gym daily, I'm spending time on here, and I'm watching tv on occasion even. I've even changed my career direction to something that requires less time. The whole realization though had made me learn a lot about relationships.

The next girl will have quite the awesome Ori, as I've realized that I enjoy making others happy, and now I learned what giving attention means, being nice, acknowledging an effort a person made (wow babe, you look really great tonight! Did you straighten your hair? Smell nice too!) -- listening.... But, there-in lies the problem. I learned I need to provide additional attention, but now I have no one to give attention to. Which makes me look (feel) like a perv/stalker/clingy type because I'm pretty happy to meet people. I've been single for 2.5 months, and I've been working most of that time. I'm trying to meet more people now, to get out of the house if nothing else. So... just because I ask to meet, doesn't mean that I want to jump your bones... I'm even (a tiny bit) shy at 1st. You might have to make the 1st move. But if you're friendly, and just want to hang out, go running through the woods, or adventure... try writing me a note. I'm a change from the usual, but that doesn't mean I'm crazy (at least not in a bad way).

Someone on their profile on here said "I'm not good at dating, but I'm good at being in a relationship" -- I think I can relate to that... I suck at those "You're not supposed to call within __ days" and "Wait 2 days after you see the person" and all those things in general. I tend to just be me. If I'm comfortable around a person at 1st, I'm "What you see is what you get" (wysiwyg if you're a web-nerd). I've found a few people on here that are thoroughly interesting (they have the whole look/brains/humor/interesting taste thing down), but I feel I'm freaking them out when I ask to meet. It's so much easier to talk in person than to wait for e-mails to arrive. Maybe I'm freaking them out, or maybe I'm just paranoid since I haven't been in the dating game in a while. Maybe they're just busy.

Like the rest of the site- here's a quiz:
You like someone on okcupid.com - you write them, they write back, you write back, they write back. It seems good so far. Do you:
1)Tell them they sound really cool, and ask to meet them - risking looking like an axe killer, or clingy codependent freak.
2)Keep writing them - eventually becoming their bestest penpal friend ever. While they go on dates, and tell you how great it's going. You may eventually get the balls to say "Hey! You know... I thought you seem really cool, and I wanted to get to know you in person" and hopefully they haven't found their match yet.
3)Who's got time to e-mail or meet or date?
4)Google some resources on dating, maybe go to the bookstore/library, read up on the normal rules of engagement, and do things "the right way" - - even though you're a unique individual that doesn't do well with "Normal"

One of my neighbors was talking about how he thinks the neighborhood hottie likes me,"'cause you're sophisticated"- it sounded kind of odd. I suppose I have goals and stuff, learn a lot (I'm a learning junkie), and I'm bilingual... but I don't wear a suit, I don't go ballroom dancing (I think I remember how to salsa / cha-cha), or even drive a fancy car... I have a Chevy Blazer (although it is the Xtreme Sports edition- which just means it's a little rounder / lower version). I guess different people have their own definitions of sophistication. I live in a nice area, but it seems most people in this neighborhood like to hang by the pool and drink beer all day. I do find that boring. Now, if you're talking frozen drinks, that's another story :p Seriously though- there's so much one can do that's productive, why sit around getting burnt when you can run and burn calories just as easily?
Another person on here saw some of my art: http://www.modelmayhem.com/pics.php?id=96441 and decided that I'm surrounded by beautiful women, and they're barking up the wrong tree. I just found that odd. I don't think my art shows anything crazier than my profile pics on here. In fact, my profile pics are funnier, and show what a lot more about me than just my pictures I take of models. I found the whole thing odd... someone shooting themself down.
Funny enough, they're showing James Bond "Casino Royale" at my neighborhood tonight --- James Bond... now there's a suave mofo! Makes me look like a caveman!

So.. .here's me - a big goofball with close family (that lives far), creative talent, skills with technology, the ability to learn anything, the ability to sell (so I can get projects that use those new skills I learned). I mostly work. I just picked Piano back up as a hobby. I wear Jeans and a T-shirt usually, but I can look fancy if there's a good reason. I'm self-taught... no college education-- but I have more information on marketing, business, photoshop, and photography than you'd get with a PHD from a prestigious college. I get irate at spelling & grammar errors.

Does that sound sophisticated?

The 1st time I hit online dating, I suppose would have been in '94 - back when no one knew the term. I went on IRC (text based chat), and tried to hit on some girls at my school. Being a computer nerd, there were even ways to find out where they sat in the lab. Talk about free time, right? Maybe that's why I left UF. IRC was my way of meeting, and communicating with friends and the ladies. Then I would get excited about sex. A few years went by and I wanted a real girlfriend. Match.com came along, but was not yet popular. Back in '98 people would say "What if you meet some crazy person online??" -- as if there aren't enough crazy people in the bars, right?
I had some incredible luck! I met incredible women, many of which I still miss -- recent discovery of being a workaholic now explains why many patterns happened, and relationships ended -- through Match. I dated a doctor, medical students, an engineer, and some other quality people that I'd probably still go back to these days. Many I'm still friends with. As online dating got more popular, more sites popped up. Jdate kicked me off for trying to add my AIM too many times... but screw 'em. Match.com was my favorite- but I think the result was always the same.. (see previous statement about discovering that I'm a workaholic). My most recent relationship was not from a dating site at all, but rather from meeting someone that called me about renting my condo. It lasted just under a year, and I have many regrets about it now... she was the first gal to live with me, and reflections about that relationship made me realize that I now want to go deeper than just a girlfriend. I would like to have a family.

I'm now 31, and there are many sites around. I am 2 months past my last relationship, and thinking about her. She was the 1st girl to live with me, and my condo has a personality thanks to her. There are now more dating sites around. I went on Match, but was utterly bored with their selection and pricing. I recently discovered the Myers-Briggs personality test, and was very excited about discovering that I'm ENTP -- as compared to my previous self concept of a creative genius with ADHD. Based on that experience, I tried Chemistry.com. The experience is annoying -- you have to rate a person that's delivered to you (like the Quiver in okCupid)- but you have to give a reason why you declined the person. They do not have "I think they look horrendous" as an option, and I've had to choose "No chemistry based on short answers." many times now. It's a lie though! I'm just not attracted to some of these people. I understand that in a perfect world, our interests and personality types should be enough to guarantee that we get along... but I have to be attracted to my partner.
As I've grown older, I've upped my standards. While a 3-some, or a hot 21 year old jumping my bones still sounds like a fun evening, I'd really like to meet someone I can get to know, be comfortable with, and pay attention to. I'd like to have someone that I can eventually have a family with, travel with (I'm an adventure-junky), and make feel special. I have the skills... I've just had that work issue make me forget the world exists, and I'm changing my life to overcome that.
Chemistry.com is annoying me... but the 1st person that found me on there is incredible. We just started talking, but I'm very excited. She's gorgeous, and her writing was amazing. Funny as heck, smart, responsible... and it was talking about that to a friend that got me the info on okCupid.com.

I love that this site is free. I love that this site lets users add their own information, their own tests, and see who's been stalking them, etc... this is the future. Perhaps because I've felt lonely, and realized some of my past mistakes, I've been a tiny bit shy about contacting people. Perhaps, because I'd like kids, I haven't messaged some girls just because they're hot. It is frustrating though that despite spending all this time answering hundreds of questions -- some of which I can't see the relevance of, some of which I think are brilliant, as they make you cringe and discover where you stand on issues --I'm still not getting high match percents with people near me.

I think that okCupid.com is the future, and that all those paid sites should be crapping their pants. While this one is not "as professional" it is more fun. It lets people feel more at home. It lets you have your photos posted as they should be (match, chemistry, and e-harmony all trashed my pics, since I'm a natural goofball).

It all leaves me wondering -- despite personality tests, good photos, and putting the time in... is the person for me on-line, or will it just be someone I bump into on the street? Does the technology together with those Disney movies that make us feel that there's always a happy ending create an unreal expectation that we'll find our perfect person, and find them fast. With these improved searches, multiple tests, and fancy matching systems, it almost feels like we should just be able to click, say hello, and make it official. But we all know that's not the case. There's still much hard work, frustration, and nerve-wrecking emotion that goes into it.

As for me... I've had good luck with online dating (even before it was cool), and I think I will again. I would not mind finding some cool friends on here, and if the person I end up with is kinky, then I Suppose this would be a fun place to meet others to join -- unlike my 20's, that's no longer a life goal.

I think that a prep course on dating would be a great bonus for any of the sites. How do you control your emotions? How do you contact someone? Do those "wait 3 days to call" rules apply? How can you gauge when too soon, or what interest levels? After a relationship, I'm scared that the next person I contact - like that girl on Chemistry - will feel like a rebound, or I'll be too clingy. Starting over is a bitch, but the technology is giving some hope.

If you take good care of yourself, like to laugh, can make others laugh, have interesting stories, or like to sports-debate, feel free to message. One hello can end up with many exciting memories.