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Count_Funkula

39 M Baltimore, MD

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 16
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Diet
Mostly vegan
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Transportation
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Can't wait for Mr. Right to come and sweep you off your feet with flowers and candy? Love holding hands while walking down the beach at sunset while the waves crash around you? Love being treated to breakfast in bed every holiday/birthday/special occasion? Enjoy sitting back and watching your man entertain your co-workers with clever anecdotes at every office party? Love a man who flaunts his good looks, fancy suits, spacious home and luxury car(s)?

Keep it moving, 'cause I ain't the guy for you.

I know nothing of god or the devil. I say to those of you who are looking for "a man who knows/is in touch with/is dedicated to serving god", I might not be your ideal match.

However, faith/religion is not a deal-breaker, and it would give us plenty to discuss during a first/subsequent date.

I am not likely going to ask you anything generic like, "What do you do?" on a first date; I'll get that information from your profile. I'm sure at some point we'll talk about our jobs anyway, so I'm more likely to ask something like, "Where and when was the nastiest bathroom you've ever been in?"

I want to know things like what embarassing moments you've had, do you have phobias, how much my atheism will clash against your religious beliefs, are you punctual, etc.

To those of who who make claims of being "fun" or "adventurous" or of having some other such trait(s), I will put you to the test.

I have a tendancy to come on strong; subtlety is not always one of my strong suits; however I am tactful.

I'm looking for someone with enough common interests that we won't be bored together, and at the same time someone I can teach new things to, and who could teach me new things.

I consider myself open-minded, but I won't spout some crap like, "I don't judge people," because that would be a pile of bullshit. The very purpose of joining this site is to judge and be judged.

And speaking of judging, I don't message anyone who doesn't have a profile photo, and cartoons don't count. Having an image I can relate to goes a long way toward your credibility. The first thing I think when I encounter a profile with no pic is, "What do you have to hide?" And boob shots without a face - while they certainly get my attention - are no better.

I also won't message you when I can't tell who you are. This goes out to those of you who have multiple people in all of your photos without a caption telling me which one you are. Are you the lady on the left? The guy? The dog? The lady in the middle? The lady on the right? The cat? The horse? This is something that I'd really like to know in case I decidde to send you plageurized poetry about your lovely [insert color here] eyes.

Being able to make me laugh is mandatory.

Bonus brownie points if you have a "granny bag", you know one of those giant pocketbooks that can facilitate the sneaking of huge quantities of food into the movie theater? So if we go to the movies (and we will), have the granny bag on standby.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Concentrating only on short-term goals and working my way through photography school.

I am juicing again to get my health back on track. Want to get together and juice and/or make smoothies? Let me know!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Photography
making people laugh
spending money
putting up with peoples' crap
leaving things behind
dropping things (that usually end up broken)
breaking things (because I dropped it)
losing things (and not finding them, especially if they're in plain sight)
spilling things
making a mess (because I spilled something)
cleaning up (the mess I made)
locking myself out
missing turns/exits
over-thinking
eating while driving
not answering my phone while driving
not answering my phone when work calls
not answering my phone when it's an unfamiliar number
not answering my phone when I left my phone some place
not answering my phone for bill collectors
not answering my phone when I can't hear it ringing
returning calls
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My stupid military glasses. I get lots of compliments about them but I hate them. Also my eyes and my Super Mario hat.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
As far as food goes, I'll try anything at least once to see if I like it (if it's new to me).

My favorite entertainers include George Carlin, Loius C.K., Margaret Cho, Bernie Mac, Maria Costas, Michael Jackson, Weird Al Yankovic

Shows:
My Name is Earl, Arrested Development, Samurai Champloo, The Muppet Show, Tales From the Crypt, Being Human (the British original), United States of Tara, Star Trek and its spin-offs, The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, Malcolm in the Middle, Heroes, Orange Is the New Black, Better Off Ted...and so on.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my camera(s)
Otakon
high speed internet
my juicer and Nutri Bullet (these count as one item)
a computer
travel
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Too many things to list here, but a few of them are (in no order of precedence):
- how best to compose a first message to a prospective OK Cupid date without coming off as creepy/abnormal/stalkerish/generic/boring/underwhelming
- the best way to break into a photography career
- which job would be the best to get while putting myself through school
- paying off my debts
- which city and state to move to in the future
- what it would be like to be in another person's shoes
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I don't have a typical Friday night; I want to have a typical friday night, and I want that night to be spending time with YOU.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The juicy stuff will only be revealed in person ♥
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you want a companion/sidekick/wingman for:
- photographic excursions
- a travel partner
- a bad movie heckle-fest
- a taste-tester for your cooking
- a gaming partner (video or board)

and/or you want:
- to explore a relationship with me
- to get to know me better
- to get together and make juice and/or smoothies