(hum the Fresh Prince theme song)
In Rockford, Illinois born and raised
In my bedroom where I spent most of my days
Fraggin and braggin teabaggin all cool
And all pwning noobs acting like a tool
When a couple of friends who came up to my door
Asked me if I wanted to go to the convenience store
I shoplifted one little bar and then became a star
With the local PD who told me my life ain't goin far
- My life did go far.....fuck you local PD.
- Spiders belong in Australia with the rest of the nopes.
- I am awesome.
- You'll have to type loud so I can hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
- I am obsessed with Batman and the Ninja Turtles and the Marvel universe.
- I'm very partial to tattoos and piercings.
- I sometimes sing Berlin - Take My Beath Away in the shower.
- My golden rule. If you can't make fun of everything, you have no right to make fun of anything. I am an equal opportunist asshole.
- Graphic novels are the shit. I'm constantly adding more to my collection. If you're a fan, PLEASE RECOMMEND SOME TO ME!
- LOTR marathons are a monthly thing.
- PC Gaming like a boss.
- I once uppercutted a Minotaur. It was a daring feat. Ask me about it for I shall tell you of a tale.
- I will choose time with bacon over you at any given time.
- I'm not as arrogant and stuck up as this profile makes it seem, it's just fun to witness that smug smirk people get when they realize they're better than me.
- I don't base human worth off of how many thousands of dollars you spent on your schooling. I don't care what degree you have or how much money you make to pay off your debt.
Things I like:
- Graphic Novels
- Marvel/DC Universe
- Video Games...lots....lots of video games
- Sarcasm. I can't have a conversation without being sarcastic.
- Humor. I like baby jokes, retard jokes, jokes about me, jokes about you, racist jokes, and even popcicle stick jokes.
- Trap/skeet/range shooting
- Cursing out loud
- Not giving a fuck
- Zombies, before they become some retarded pop culture
- Being an equal opportunist asshole.
- Fuck...there was something else...
- Oh yea...Bacon..because fuck PETA
- People who don't take my profile seriously
- Garage Sailing, I'm nosey, I like rummaging though people's junk.
- Summer mornings.
Things I don't like:
- People who take my profile seriously.
Time for a poem:
Roses are red.
Bacon..is also red.
Fuck poems are hard.
No seriously, bacon.