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CptnNerdyPants

27 M Madison, WI

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:12pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Retired
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Poorly), Gujarati (Poorly), LISP (Fluently), Tamil (Okay)

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My self-summary
Facts:
- I'm a little wimp when it comes to most spiders.
- I am awesome.
- You'll have to type loud so I can hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
- I am obsessed with things I was when I was a kid like Batman and pretty much anything DC or Marvel and TMNT.
- I'm very partial to tattoos and piercings. One of my weaknesses.
- I sometimes sing Berlin - Take My Beath Away in the shower.
- My golden rule. If you can't make fun of everything, you have no right to make fun of anything. I am an equal opportunist sarcastic ass.
- Last year I discovered the world of graphic novels. If you're a fan, PLEASE RECOMMEND SOME TO ME!
- LOTR marathons are a monthly thing.
- PC Gaming like a boss.
- I once wrestled a Minotaur. It was a daring feat. Ask me about it for I shall tell you of a tale.
- I will choose time with bacon over you at any given time.
- I'm not as arrogant and stuck up as this profile makes it seem, it's just fun to witness that smug smirk people get when they realize they're better than me.
- I don't base human worth off of how many thousands of dollars you spent on your schooling. I don't care what degree you have or how much money you make to pay off your debt. If you're human, and you have aspirations, and enough will to pull it off, that's enough for me.

Things I like:
- Graphic Novels
- Marvel/DC Universe
- Video Games...lots....lots of video games
- Sarcasm. I can't have a conversation without being sarcastic.
- Humor. I like baby jokes, retard jokes, jokes about me, jokes about you, racist jokes, and even Popsicle stick jokes.
- Trap/skeet/range shooting
- Bacon
- Cursing out loud
- Not giving a fuck
- Zombies, before they become some retarded pop culture
- Being an equal opportunist asshole.
- Fuck...there was something else...
- Oh yea...Bacon..because fuck PETA
- People who don't take my profile seriously
- Garage Sailing, I'm nosey, I like rummaging though people's junk.
- Summer mornings.

Things I don't like:
- People who take my profile seriously.

Time for a poem:
Roses are red.
Bacon..is also red.
Fuck poems are hard.
Bacon.

I was told I needed to add something semi serious. Whatever. Here it is.

What am I looking for? Nothing in particular. I'm happy with my life, I've made big changes to live with less stress and don't need someone to make my life better. What I do want, is someone to share the experiences with. Someone to bike on trails with. Cuddling up on a couch and having a marathon of whatever show. Road trips during the spring/summer/fall with the windows down and music blaring. Someone to pick my brain with conversations that'll bore most people. I'm not the party type any more, I go to the bar maybe once every couple weeks, I've got better things to do.

I love meeting new people so that's why I'm here. I don't go to school and I spend a lot of my days working and at home, so meeting people isn't as easy as it used to be when I was younger. So here I am.
What I’m doing with my life
- I transform into a super hero squirrel at night and save all.
- Making bacon
- Wasting my time on here reading everyone's profile.
I’m really good at
Making breakfast.
Sometimes burning breakfast.
Back massages.
Transforming into "Jungle Gym", as my nieces/newphews/minions call me.
The first things people usually notice about me
Beard 2.0
Blue eyes...that are kind of grey...
Body art
They can hear me from 300 feet away
Not a single fuck was given.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Unless you're really bored, I would skip this, it's pretty long.

Books: The Giver, Moonshae Trilogy, Boneshaker, Life of Pi, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Tucker Max's "Do They Serve Beer in Hell" and "Assholes Finish First"

Graphic Novels: Channel Zero, DMZ, Preacher, Y The last Man, Many of the Batman offsprings, The Walking Dead, Deadworld, Watchmen

I'm a movie buff. I could go on listing movies all night and it'd break OKC's servers.
Movies: Labyrinth, Secret of the Nimh, Legend (Tim Curry FTW), Pulp Fiction, Boondock Saints, Short Circuit 1 and 2, most if not all Marvel movies, Serenity, Goodfellas, Gladiator, V for Vendetta, Jurassic Park 1 (didn't care for the other 2). Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (only a true geek loves this movie!) , Ghost, Any of the old school slasher/horror movies, Rocky Horror Picture Show, almost anything by Mel Brooks..Dracula Dead and Loving it is still one of the best comedies ever...Aeon Flux (mostly cause they followed the show pretty good, the movie was based off "A Last Time for Everything" from season 1 of the tv series) anything by Stanley Kubrick (The Shining, A Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove), Hell...I even own the Notebook, Heat, Righteous Kill, Scarface, Goodfellas,

Shows: Firefly, Castle, Archer, Sons of Anarchy, That 70's show, Justified, Breaking Bad many more awesomeness.

Music:

Before I say anything, if you don't like The Righteous Brothers, you need to reevaluate what you're doing with your life.

Metal/Rock: Amon Amarth, Birthday Massacre, Death, The Browning, Kamelot, In Flames, White Zombie, Karnivool, Myrath, Hammerfall, Led Zepplin, Nightwish, Tarot, Fear Factory, Scorpions, Pink Floyd, Van Halen, Journey, Amaranthe, Gorjira, Seven Dust, Iced Earth, Blind Guardian, Demons & Wizards, Sons of Liberty, Clutch, Deftones, Evergrey, Firewind, Gothminister, Mastadon, Queensryche, Savatage, Scar Symmetry, Sirenia, Mortemia, Tristania, Staind, Texas Hippie Coalition, Therion, Xandria, Pretty much all the old classics as well. Alestorm, Amorphis, Black Label Society, Chimaira, Crematory, Devil Driver, Dimmu Borgir, Dream Evil, Gotthard, Kalmah, Kreator, Korn, Mercenary, Moonspell, Northern Kings, Riverside, Seven Mary Three, Skinlab,

Dance/Techno/DubstepSkrillex, The Crystal Method, D-Devils, Knife Party, Swedish House Mafia, Real Mcoy, most of all dubstep, Synesthesia, Blackmill, Sounds From The Ground, Pendulum

Food: Sushi, Italian, Mexican, Balogna, Bacon, Cheese with bacon, BLT with extra bacon, Corned Beef n Cabbage, blood of a sacrificed llama
The six things I could never do without
You're all so damn cliche with this. Have some fun!

1) Arnold Palmers by Arizona Iced Tea.
2) Wisconsin cheese.
3) Clean socks.
4) Sunglasses.
5) My computer(s).
6) Ya...you didn't think I was going to say bacon did you. Well there it is, bacon.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I waste so much time on this site...and why ladies all of a sudden have this undying passion to have mustaches...seriously...take steroids...
On a typical Friday night I am
40% of the time I'm strolling through IMGUR, 30% reading OKC, 30% shoving food in my mouth.

Summer: frisbee golf, running around naked, cook outs, video games, Lan Parties, biking around Madison's trails, trap shooting.

Winter: Under the covers

When I'm not doing the above, I'm bamboozling elderly folk. That's a lie. You see I like to tell lies sometimes, but then immediately turn myself in, because then that makes me a stand up guy, and you can't be mad for it because I came clean.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Seriously though, I'm 27 and I still watch iCarly. Fuck off.

Also, I cry every time at the end of Gladiator.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–31
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
If you message me, there's probably something wrong with you.....actually....in that case we'd probably get along more.....ya go ahead and message me now that I think of it.

-You're sarcastic and witty.
-You enjoy body art!!
-You're looking for a partner in crime.
-You're spontaneous and would like to be my co-pilot for road trips.
-You're as awesome as me. You can't be more awesome than me though, or that'll just turn into an awesomefest of competing with awesomeness.
-I'd like to do game nights or something with boardgames! I don't know anyone who likes boardgames anymore though :(

Note: I respond to all messages, I think it'd be rude that someone took the time to write me a message only to ignore them. If my profile interests you, write a message! Unless you write something generic as hell, I'll respond with something boring and generic as well.