CrMo79
36 Portland, OR
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CrMo79
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My self-summary
I think the most important life lesson learned in the last 2 years is about the reality that success at anything in life is the result of being willing to go out of your way for other people regardless of anything in return. I've been told I am a "gentleman" on numerous occasions. That means something.

I am not what you, the audience, or anyone else is looking for. Nobody is what anyone is looking for. That is the beauty and tragedy of this process!

I think romantic endeavors would be much easier if we quit objectifying one another in search of ideals.If life is ideal right now as a single person, how can another possibly make it better with their own thoughts, fears, and flaws?
What I’m doing with my life
Failing forward. Endlessly.

I have two full time jobs.

I work for a small health food company in Portland. I basically run the distribution end of the business, working with small health food stores nationwide as well as hand-holding/prodding New Seasons. It's a cutthroat business, for sure. A product I created is up for a "Nexty" award at the 2016 Expo West -- the NAMM show of the "natural foods" industry in Anaheim. It's a big deal!

My other full time job is finding a real, healthy relationship.It's a job. It's work. It's work to write emails and meet people. It's also work not to get bogged down in a sea of people who do not take it seriously.

I've played bass guitar/electric bass for 20 years -- played the cello from 4th grade through the middle of high school and then morphed into a mediocre bass player. Yes Virginia, it is a real instrument! I still have my classical sensibility that sometimes permeates the rock and roll. And the reason you like music is because of the pleasing throb provided by the low frequency instrument(s)...

And I like Oregon-y outdoorsy things like hiking and not getting hit by a car again on my bike. I like getting up early in spring/summer and going on a nice difficult day hike with fine company!
I’m really good at
Taking risks when the odds are so badly stacked against it. For better and worse, but lately for better.

Providing a pleasing musical throb.

Ruffling feathers, whether or not they need be ruffled.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and my kind face. I don't look my age and I'm told I do the bald look pretty well, so that's something.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Non-fiction. Quite esoteric.

Movies: Wiki 1987 for movies.

Shows: TV or Broadway?

Music: Discuss. I have played classical, jazz (fusion, latin, standards, classics), and many styles of rock and roll. Queen is my favorite band because they move me in more musical sensibilities than any other band.

Food: Primal. Vegetables (organic when they need to be), meat, eggs, fish, good fats, nuts, seeds, fine dark chocolate with no soy lecithin in it...

Most of this stuff doesn't matter -- I'm not out for a female clone with my artistic taste/sensibility...can't we share different stuff?
The six things I could never do without
Why not call this box "The six people in your life I could never do without"??

So in that case:

1) My boss.

2) My folks -- I still learn a lot from them and they're quietly extraordinary people.

3) My brother, who I also learn a lot from.

4) Anyone I can make a genuine connection with.

5) A great drummer.

6) The people I work with.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why the "no expectations" attitude about dating? It's like assuming you're not going to have a good time with the person. You might as well assume they're also a serial killer while you're at it. And why do it? What other aspects of your life do you live with "no expectations"?

Life is too short to be wasted on meaningless social interactions.

Fear does not lead to success in anything. I get that this fear is associated with Portland's hook up culture (single women outnumbering single men = hookup culture. Just like NYC), but "no expectations" combined with Greek-God-stature standards makes for a lot of "serial dating" and the well-meaning people get hosed. Just sayin.'

And since Portland is becoming cosmopolitan like NYC, this is an interesting read:

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/dear-single-women-of-nyc-its-not-them-its-you-6430067

The bit about status addiction is pretty interesting, because it's true. Lots of people form their relationship requirements around their own capacities to consume.It's just a defense mechanism/insecurity to keep one from getting out of one's comfort zone and being successful with regards to relationships.
On a typical Friday night I am
Winding down...but sometimes I have a gig and then Friday night turns into Saturday morning...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm just odd. I didn't grow up around male stereotypes or traditional gender roles -- all within the real-life context of the movie "American Beauty". I was an odd duck who didn't stand out or blend in. I am still much the same.
You should message me if
Nobody "should" do anything. "Should" is a word for losers.
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