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34 M Portland, OR

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 24–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:58am
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've lived in Portland longer than a lot of non-natives my age...12 years. I came from Chicagoland but there are so many things I wouldn't know if I didn't live here.

For those keeping score in the Meyers-Briggs end of things, I come out an INTJ. Or less than 2% of the American population. I spend lots of time in my head, find small talk painfully annoying, and don't possess the social intelligence of extroverts. That doesn't mean I can't be social! My work requires me to socialize for 7 hours a day!

I've been to several countries in Europe and Asia but moving to Portland was a major failing forward.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm continually failing forward in order to achieve success in life.

I work in telecommunications for a company with the least toxic work environment I've ever been in. Everyone there that shows up for work at 6 a.m. does so because they want to be there. I've never worked in such an environment. It requires me to be very disciplined and that is something I am justifiably proud of.

I play the bass guitar/electric bass and have done so for 19 years. It is without question the greatest instrument invented ever because when it is played with skill it can bring an audience into a concert from off the street! This was a fun performance. "Dead End Street" by The Kinks, with horns. I'm semi-conducting the horns:

Rock and roll...doesn't pay the bills. Semi professional. No...semi-pro...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving good phone. It's a rare quality to be able to maintain a captive audience for several hours on the phone and have them go "Wow, where did all the time go?". Influencing people in bettering themselves. Speaking and singing with my fingers. Taking risks. Not taking "no" for an answer. Making complete and incomplete strangers laugh. Being funny requires a sense of humor, but having a sense of humor doesn't mean one is funny. Being an anachronism. It has nothing to do with playing with fake swords and jousting. The rest of in such tiny screens! I am also the most patient and tolerant person in the realm of crap out there. Maybe it's because somebody has to be. Or I don't feel as entitled as most people. I've become very adept at clashing with non-collaborative (read: egomaniac) singer-songwriters.

I'm learning to fail forward...I'm not really good at it yet, but you can't grow without failing forward.

I've been really good at being lucky.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It depends on the "audience". If the audience is engaged and interested then it's my eyes and kind face. If the audience is completely disinterested at first glance, then it's usually whatever the first thing is that puts them off.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Art is highly subjective. As a person with high artistic intelligence it's really not fair to judge others on the basis of their tastes in art. Most people can't even begin to enjoy the music they have because they don't have a good hifi to listen to it on. Most people don't care. So what does it matter in terms of choice of the written word or television?

Some may conclude the above paragraph is me on my high horse/ivory tower about art. It's not true. I just don't believe one's taste in art is reason enough to dismiss that person.

I love this song, though:

Food is really important to me, largely because a complete primal lifestyle change in 2010 combined with a large amount of knowledge gained working in the food industry with a niche food company. All that needs to be said is for people to read the first chapter of "The Primal Blueprint" by Mark Sisson. I hate only one thing in life...wasting food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ketosis. A means of getting from Point A to Point B. Merino wool -- wearing that stuff reduces my water consumption big time. My job. My family. Clean sustenance -- including organic pu-erh tea. It's magical. And I need to buy more.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I'm reminded at work every week about how I "over think" everything. But a lot of people who would be characterized as "over thinkers" are extremely successful people. It's how we fail and move forward in life.

Something I think about a lot is why I even bother contacting people on a forum such as this. Most of us only think about ourselves, our needs, and how someone else is going to either fit into our lives with little to no effort on our part. Or they're going to ruin it because they don't fit. And we wonder why "dating" is so difficult?

I don't need people in my life so much that meeting a random person for coffee/tea/whatever is a completely unsatisfying experience. I have no interest in being a "warm body" to be used for a certain amount of time and then be discarded by someone else. But for most of us that is what "dating" is, because our audience is largely uninterested in anyone except themselves.

Does it matter how good of a person someone is? No. Does it matter how attentive someone is? No. Does it matter how trustworthy a person is? No. All that matters to the bulk of people is ME ME ME. Most of us do not have the courage to connect with others romantically.

When we interact in person we must have the kind of mind-blowing chemistry as if we'd known each other for 5 years. Or else.

And when the shit hits the fan when it doesn't work out, it is always the other person's fault.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sometimes I have a gig on Fridays. Most of the time I wind down from the work week. Sometimes I go out after work with coworkers and play enhanced table tennis. It just depends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm torn on Measure 92, not because I have reservations about GMO labeling and doubt the evilness of GMO "food". It's because GMO labeling in America, like most political issues (GMO labeling being a political issue is a huge part of the problem) is not black or white. It's not simply a "start" -- it's like when GMO crops came out in the first place and started messing with the human body: "Oh we're going to figure out how to make GMO crops non-hazardous. We just need time." It doesn't work like have a poorly written bill or law, loopholes will be found, and the essence of the bill will be destroyed. An issue like GMO crops needs to be tackled at the highest level, but how do you do that when the highest level is being reinforced by the same organizations that prop it up in the first place?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have the courage to be thoughtful and not make everything in your life all about you. It's really hard for most of us to do, but it's the difference between being happy and being in a bad place.

You feel that getting to know another person *is* personal.