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34 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:07am
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've lived in Portland for almost 12 years. I mostly like it here, though it's a challenging place to live given a few things. One, I'm from Chicagoland, which makes me a bit more wound up than west coast natives. Two, I'm an INTJ, which for those keeping score makes me around 2% of the total American population and therefore greatly misunderstood. INTJ's are often accused of being arrogant and judgmental -- which if concluded at first glace is judgmental itself.

To put it all another way, my brother, who has known me the entire 34 years I've lived on this planet does not understand me. So how could a bunch of strangers?

Fear not though, as enough interaction with me makes the light bulbs in people's minds eventually flip to the "on" position. Now...with my's a bit complicated. But what family isn't?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm continually failing forward in order to achieve success in life.

I'm failing forward in all aspects of life. Playing music is a big part of that. But so is maintaining my alternative lifestyle. I'm currently preparing to blow a coworker's mind through the sampling of one of Mother Earth's most magical creations: coconut oil.

This was a fun performance. "Dead End Street" by The Kinks, with horns. I'm semi-conducting the horns:

Rock and roll...doesn't pay the bills.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving good phone. It's a rare quality to be able to maintain a captive audience for several hours on the phone and have them go "Wow, where did all the time go?". Influencing people in bettering themselves. Speaking and singing with my fingers. Taking risks. Not taking "no" for an answer. Making complete and incomplete strangers laugh. Being funny requires a sense of humor, but having a sense of humor doesn't mean one is funny. Being an anachronism. It has nothing to do with playing with fake swords and jousting. The rest of in such tiny screens! I am also the most patient and tolerant person in the realm of crap out there. Maybe it's because somebody has to be. Or I don't feel as entitled as most people. I've become very adept at clashing with non-collaborative (read: egomaniac) singer-songwriters.

I'm learning to fail forward...I'm not really good at it yet, but you can't grow without failing forward.

I've been really good at being lucky.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My kind eyes and face. I am very easy to talk to, which is both a blessing and a curse. Possibly my strong yet introverted personality, which only seems to concern people who do not know me.

Someone said today they recognized me from somewhere. It's not the first time. Coworkers don't believe I'm 34.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Art is highly subjective. As a person with high artistic intelligence it's really not fair to judge others on the basis of their tastes in art. Most people can't even begin to enjoy the music they have because they don't have a good hifi to listen to it on. Most people don't care. So what does it matter in terms of choice of the written word or television?

Some may conclude the above paragraph is me on my high horse/ivory tower about art. It's not true. I just don't believe one's taste in art is reason enough to dismiss that person.

I love this song, though:

Food is really important to me, largely because a complete primal lifestyle change in 2010 combined with a large amount of knowledge gained working in the food industry with a niche food company. All that needs to be said is for people to read the first chapter of "The Primal Blueprint" by Mark Sisson. I hate only one thing in life...wasting food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ketosis. A means of getting from Point A to Point B. Merino wool -- wearing that stuff reduces my water consumption big time. My job. My family. Clean sustenance -- including organic pu-erh tea. It's magical. And I need to buy more.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think about American dating culture a lot. If America's population is an internal combustion engine (let's face it, we picked the wrong industry to sustain our economy!), then the single population and dating culture is what sits in the oil pan. All the bits and pieces of metal amongst the dirty oil -- that's what dating is right now.

What's happened is that men and women are now financially independent of each other. Congratulations! We all now have the ability to be slaves to our own consumption! The fact that women don't necessarily make as much as men in the same fields is immaterial because single men and single women are miraculously able to afford houses on a single income these days. What does that have to do with dating?

People are scared shitless that someone who can't consume on their level is going to ruin their life. No, seriously. You gotta have 12 months of paid vacation per year these days so you can spend 3 months in Bali per year. It's like all of the Gen-Xers are living like retired people with day jobs and are so bent on keeping a particular lifestyle that if you don't match up you are going to ruin their life. I've experienced it. I can tell from people's profiles. That's why there are so many single people over 30!

And people want to romanticize dating in pre-internet America. Really? My parents met in the middle of nowhere in 1978 and just happened to be in the same circumstances at the same time, except my dad by 21st century standards would have been viewed as a complete loser: unemployed with uncertain job prospects (though I was nearly born in a company vehicle) and he certainly had income potential question marks.

That's what people care about now. Our values are fucked up as a result of "mutual gender independence". There's nothing wrong with being "bohemian" and traveling the world and racking up frequent flyer miles, but let's face it, that's not a lifestyle that includes another person unless you've cultivated that together. Otherwise the only solution is to find someone willing to be stuffed into a suitcase, taken out when needed, and put away when not needed.

Most people in America are extroverts: they have a pathological need to be around people. I want to quote "Chasing Amy" right now but people are too fragile to see the point... As an introvert, it's stupid to spend an hour with someone on a Monday night who doesn't give a rat's ass about interacting with me and getting to know me and is only in for moments of having their mind blown when they learn "Get Down, Make Love" is not a NIN song, but a cover of a Queen song from 1977.

Dating has turned into a series of airport bar conversations between someone interested in getting to know another human being and another person interested in getting free information and using another person for 1-2 hours and that's it. It's a Christmas Miracle (or not) if two people interested in getting to know one another and developing a relationship interact. It's not a gender thing. Both genders and everyone in between suck, and it's because people are enslaved by their consumption.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
This all depends. Do I have a gig Friday night? What season is it?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a common last name which is spelled in a way which is uncommon. However, the commonly spelled way is absolutely incorrect.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm at a place in life where I cannot grow without another person as part of the process. It's not a matter of codependency but a matter of wanting to grow and understanding my own limitations. I'm looking for people of that ilk. Yes, there are certain material characteristics that are important to me, but none of that matters if another person isn't interested in having someone intimately in their life as part of the growing process.