I am not what you, the audience, or anyone else is looking for. Nobody is what anyone is looking for. That is the beauty and tragedy of this process!
I think romantic endeavors would be much easier if we quit objectifying one another in search of ideals.If life is ideal right now as a single person, how can another possibly make it better with their own thoughts, fears, and flaws?
I have two full time jobs.
I work for a small health food company in Portland. I basically run the distribution end of the business, working with small health food stores nationwide as well as hand-holding/prodding New Seasons. It's a cutthroat business, for sure. A product I created is up for a "Nexty" award at the 2016 Expo West -- the NAMM show of the "natural foods" industry in Anaheim. It's a big deal!
My other full time job is finding a real, healthy relationship.It's a job. It's work. It's work to write emails and meet people. It's also work not to get bogged down in a sea of people who do not take it seriously.
I've played bass guitar/electric bass for 20 years -- played the cello from 4th grade through the middle of high school and then morphed into a mediocre bass player. Yes Virginia, it is a real instrument! I still have my classical sensibility that sometimes permeates the rock and roll. And the reason you like music is because of the pleasing throb provided by the low frequency instrument(s)...
And I like Oregon-y outdoorsy things like hiking and not getting hit by a car again on my bike. I like getting up early in spring/summer and going on a nice difficult day hike with fine company!
Providing a pleasing musical throb.
Ruffling feathers, whether or not they need be ruffled.
Movies: Wiki 1987 for movies.
Shows: TV or Broadway?
Music: Discuss. I have played classical, jazz (fusion, latin, standards, classics), and many styles of rock and roll. Queen is my favorite band because they move me in more musical sensibilities than any other band.
Food: Primal. Vegetables (organic when they need to be), meat, eggs, fish, good fats, nuts, seeds, fine dark chocolate with no soy lecithin in it...
Most of this stuff doesn't matter -- I'm not out for a female clone with my artistic taste/sensibility...can't we share different stuff?
So in that case:
1) My boss.
2) My folks -- I still learn a lot from them and they're quietly extraordinary people.
3) My brother, who I also learn a lot from.
4) Anyone I can make a genuine connection with.
5) A great drummer.
6) The people I work with.
Life is too short to be wasted on meaningless social interactions.
Fear does not lead to success in anything. I get that this fear is associated with Portland's hook up culture (single women outnumbering single men = hookup culture. Just like NYC), but "no expectations" combined with Greek-God-stature standards makes for a lot of "serial dating" and the well-meaning people get hosed. Just sayin.'
And since Portland is becoming cosmopolitan like NYC, this is an interesting read:
The bit about status addiction is pretty interesting, because it's true. Lots of people form their relationship requirements around their own capacities to consume.It's just a defense mechanism/insecurity to keep one from getting out of one's comfort zone and being successful with regards to relationships.